Photography - February Moon

Lyrics - Little Did I Know

that one night and that one name
trouble comes with that one name
and i cant imagine what i'd do
what i'd do, oh without you
here for me, each and every day
to calm me down and wipe my tears away
i found out all i do is cry amounts of an ocean
but i cant swim...

so i'll wrap myself up in the love i have left
and let my lord lay me to rest
because i had so much to give
but no longer a reason to live
you let go of my hand and let me sink
at my cries for mercy you turned your cheek
i gave my all to you from the very start
little did i know you would break my...heart...

i went to sleep to only to dream sweet
to dream of raindrops hitting our feet
and giving me kisses and holding me long
for hours and hours singing our song
but then i reached and you held out your hand
then pulled it away as the thunder began
i thought i was good until i was left in the dark
and i cant see...

so i'll wrap myself up in the love i have left

and let my lord lay me to rest

because i had so much to give

but no longer a reason to live

you let go of my hand and let me sink

at my cries for mercy you turned your cheek

i gave my all to you from the very start

little did i know you would break my...heart...

 - and i cant take it

stepping all around the pieces

 - and i can feel it

stabbing into my flesh

 - you can destroy it

with one simple word

but build it again with 3

...do you love me?

morp!

lol @ these 2 guys in my art class XD

i'm 17 now!

rabbito made me this for my present ^_^

thankyoo rabbito :D

today actually didnt start off that good...

most of the school day was no fun at all

either boring or bad

but

when i got home i saw my mom was too

of course the first thing she did was yell at me -_-

but after wards we were gonna go to dinner

and nicko came along too :D

he was wearing a tie and looked adorable XD

it was funny...

the waitor asked me if i was turning not 17

not 16

not 15

not even 14

the waitor asked me if i was turning 10

10 YEARS OLD!!

OMG!!

i was sad haha

but the food was awesome ^_^

its a japanese habachi & sushi bar so its always good

i got nicko to try shrimp for the first time...

i dont know if he will ever eat it again tho XD

after the food

the waitor and another person came up with a drum

and they started singing to me

0_o

then they said to stand up and wanted me to dance

but i curled up in my chair and hid XD

i said i would dance if my sister did and i finally got up there

we danced together :D

then at the end

guess what i did...

the one and only

caramelldansen!!!

in front of everyone in the restaurant lol

embarrassing but funny lol i'll admit

mango ice cream :)

they gave me a tiny cheese cake

i should have took a picture of it

but

 this was all that was left by the time i did XD

these are birthday cards from people :)

the top from my dad

 bottom from my cousin

i got lots of money! 

i can buy school lunch now!!!! :D :D :D

alot of people wrote me a happy birthday on my fb wall too lol

and my friend from when i was little called me in the morning to say happy birthday :D

thanks everyone for making this the first "good" birthday i've had for a very long time :)

Photography - last post until i'm 17

i went to the mall with my friend Katie

here's some pictures

impressive.. :)

today we did an excersize in drama where we have to keep a straight face while someone tries to make us laugh

the first girl who went up is the funniest girl in the class but is also in NJROTCso she did really good

no one could faze her,

but then whenever anyone else was up and she tried to make them laugh

they would laugh instantly

the teacher says "i think Asberry would be good at this"

i knew i would but i didnt really wanna go up there.

but of course...everyone wanted me to go up there.

after everyone was saying my name i went and sat on a stool.

we had to keep a straight face for 30 seconds.

and i kept a straight face :)

its funny, because i'm very easily amused

and she was hilarious

but my trick was to only laugh in my head

and it works wonders for me :)

everyone was impressed

and i won a cookie :D

hehehe

^_^

Lyrics - Minun onni on teidän käsissänne

NOTE

this is my first song in Finnish :)

translation at the bottom...

enjoy ♥

Finnish:
Olet ainoa minulle
Minä rakastan sinua
Toivon, että rakastat minua liian
En voi elää ilman sinua

Tulkaa minun tyköni
Älä jätä minua
ja käännä minulle
rakkauden minua
Minä olen sinun ja vain sinun
Voit olettaa, on ainoa
Minun onni on teidän käsissänne
Olen kiitollinen aiheuttaa


English:
You're the only one for me
I love you
I hope that you love me too
I can not live without you

Come unto me
Do not leave me
and turn to me
love to me

I am yours and yours only
You can assume is my only
My happiness is in your hands
I am grateful to you cause

Poem - Lovesick Romantic

to me, i believe it was destiny
to see you lying here next to me

without a push or shove, i sing of our love
and unlike all of the others, on a higher octave

i have someone so beautiful that all will covet
something to never forget, is that you are my only merit

if i would decree, and all would agree
that you are God's gift to me

i love when our eyes connect and you are in my vision
when we are trapped in our own passion prison

the softness of your touch and the feel of your skin
to thuroughly describe it, i can only begin

in ways you are sweeter than any bees-made honey
and worth more than any money
i love our perfect heart's harmony

it is true, i am in more than one sense: frantic
but i am nothing more than a lovesick romantic

so to the one i adore:
te amo, mi amor

i find it odd...

i find it odd...

that he thinks im perfect..

you can even ask him yourself and he'll say it...

i was on the phone with him last night,

he called me to cheer me up because i was having a bit of a crisis in my mind,

he doesnt get why i dont like myself

and i told him why

"all i see in myself is flaws"

but he doesnt see that...

he told me to try and look at myself through his point of view

he started talking about this beautiful girl with countless talents,

who is nice to everyone and is never mean to him,

 is always patient and loyal and he loves the things she says,

she's always there for him and is always up for anything

he loves everything about this girl

and he was talking about me.

one of his friends actually asked him why we arent married yet.

"all of my friend's think you're perfect because they see you from my point of view"

"i'm going to treat you like a Princess because you are mine"

"i love you Asberry and i want to spend the rest of my life with you"

i cant believe he's saying these things about me...

i'm still not used to it and we've been together a long time

alot of people say i'm one of the saddest people they know...

i feel like i'm a burden to him yet i make him the happier than he's ever been

it seems impossible and i thought it was,

i never thought i could make someone so happy that we would need a new word for it

then get so much happier we would have to have another

yes, it is true, i have alot of sad times in my life

i have alot of sad memories and my general expression has been said to be "sad"

but being with Nick is the part of my life where i'm happy

and i'm not really a sad person

they say my expression is "sad"

i'm not sad, i just miss Nick

my general expression could be better described as "longing"

i am happy, and its because of him

i talk to him about everything whether its full on joking or really serious

and he always listens and talks to me the same

...because we are the same

we fit together like two puzzle pieces,

which makes him easy to cuddle with

he said it made him happy the first time we hugged because i just "fit"

and i agree.

i'm short and he is taller than me

but he's not too tall.

they way we fit together is like automatic romantic -

if i lay on him, my head is automatically on his chest or shoulder

if i look up and he looks down we can see straight into eachother's eyes with eyes

when we curl up and cuddle together our bodies fit together warmly

if we're sitting my head lays right on his shoulder

he can put his arm around me without my shoulder or waist being too high

we fit so perfectly ♥

we had to have been made for eachother

it makes me so proud to have him

to have love like this

no ones ever thought of me this way and it makes my heart flutter

i'm proud to have someone who truely appreciates me

and i can't say it enough

i love you Nick <3

Paidream & Airvalo ♥

Paidream & Airvalo

♥

Nicko and i decided that our kid's names will be that

Paidream would be our girl

Airvalo would be our boy

we made up these names to express our love for eachother

not even kidding :)
we were on the phone (still are actually :D)
he said he'd reached a new happiness level with me
higher than "glameep" 
(our word we made up this summer to describe our happiness because we were happier than happy)
he said "paid" and hung up then i came up with "dream"

he called me back and said it sounded like a good name
i agreed and we changed the spelling to "Paidream" and said that would be the girls name
so he said to think of a boys name too,
he said "air" i was thinking "light" but "airlight" didnt sound right...
i went to the translator for help but then stopped and remembered "valo" is Finnish for light
the name flowed beautifully and our boy will be "Airvalo"


our children, we agreed, would be a symbol of our love
it only makes sense for them to have names that have a special meaning to us
"Paidream & Airvalo" are our words to describe our happiness
how we're happier than we ever have been,
a level above our normal happier-than-happy


the beauty of our love
put into words


i could write a story behind these names
and there are different reasons i chose the words i chose

[dream] i've always been a girl who dreamed of love, being in love, loving someone else and someone loving me. something that seems to be always and only in dreams has become a reality. i found the man of my dreams. and all of my dreaming has paid off.

[valo] it is the last name of my favorite singer and an inspiring man that reminds me alot of my Love, Nicko, but it is also the Finnish word for light. Light is something i couldn't see when i met Nick, my eyes were full of tears and sadness and i was lost in the dark, but Nick was there to hold my hand and fall out of the darkness and into the light, filling the air with love, something i will be eternally greatful for.

when they arrive one day, and ask us what thier names mean

we can share our love story with them

and i'm sure they'll be happy to know they have a purpous

they will be happy to know that not only will we love them

but they were made out of love ♥

Latest Creation

another webcam photo

inspired by Venus Doom by HIM

i think the butterfly is a nice touch :)

Poem - A Dream, A Light, A Love

i love him in an undying sense

a love that is unconditional and will always be true

a love that is perfect because it's just "me and you"

a dream,

a light,

a love.

full of reminiscing and wonder

curiousity and innocence

even when ours seems to be lost

we are only for eachother

each time i look into your eyes,

its just as exciting and beautiful as the first

a dream,

a light,

a love.

omg omg omg!! XD

today i went into the lunch room

and the first thing i heard was a man on tv say

"juicy wiener"

（笑） XD XD XD

its only 30 minutes after lunch now and im really hungry T-T but i didnt eat anyways...cuz i have no money to buy food T-T ^

well i guess i'll eat at home then

...i bought a big box of popcorn while i was at the pharmacy yesterday ^_^

stupid pills >.>
they took forever to refill

<.<
>.>

o.o

i'm hungrier than i thought i was

p.s.

i will be 17 on Thursday!! :D

about today,

(holy crap is that a smile?!)

in conclusion of today, 

I MISS MY NICKO!!!

♥ and i love him very much ♥

we're cute :)

Me: i just got hit in the face with a door again :(
Nicko: Ahaha wow
Me: i tried to open the screen door for my grandma and the wind pushed the door back before i could close it & it smacked me and i fell in a bush :( haha im pitiful XD
Nicko: Hahahahahahahah wow my gf is awesome
Me: i hope your not being sarcastic XD omg XD
Nicko: hahah corse not babe
Me: even tho the wind pwns me and i  keep getting smacked with doors and fall up the stairs all the time, still think i'm awesome?? :D
Nicko: Yes babe lol
Me: hahaha XD i love you!!
Nicko: i love you too babe.

and i also think Gack is the japanese answer to Ville Valo

they're both incredible lyricists/poets!!

i just started listening to him again :)

tell me what you think...

i've spent alot of time on this...

i was experimenting with layers and ended up with 7

i took the picture on webcam last night
the edit is inspired by a video i was watching

Todokanai Ai To Shitteiru No Ni Osaekirezuni Aishitsuzuketa by Gackt

Todokanai Ai To Shitteiru No Ni Osaekirezuni Aishitsuzuketa by Gackt

but the lyrics on the picture or "emotion-theme" as i call it

is Dance D'Amour by The 69 Eyes

i think its good...for me anyways lol

here's the original

i personally dont like this picture but i love the edit lol

please leave feedback!!

♥