Ten Days post 2 - Day 3

Day 1; 10 things you want to say to 10 different people
Day 2; 9 people who have influenced you
Day 3; 8 pictures to describe how you're feeling
Day 4; 7 things you do every day
Day 5; 6 songs you listen to on a daily basis
Day 6; 5 things you wish you could change
Day 7; 4 things you're craving
Day 8; 3 people who inspire you
Day 9; 2 books you've read and liked
Day 10; 1 symbol that represents you

dude thats too many pictures...

...simpler

something good that happened in november..

i stumbled upon this post today

http://sincerelyberry.blogspot.com/2009/11/im-good-at-things.html

i miss those cute things..

tag from Aidyl ^_^

If I wasn't myself...

(wierd!!!)

but...

...a month: june

...a weekday: /friday

...a time of the day: 3:07 (when i get home from school xD)
...a planet: pluto! my home planet <33 xD
...a sea animal: manatee!!! :D
...a direction: down
...a number: 5
...a piece of cloth: nick's hoodie  :]
...a piece of jewelry: pterodactyl necklace :D
...a cosmetic article: mascara
...a flower or a plant: sugar cane
...some liquid: um... teehee... (dirty mind) >;D *giggles mischeviously*...
...a tree: willow tree
...a bird: falcon
...a piece of furniture: tall chair
...a weather condition: partly cloudy and about 60 degrees F
...a mythical creature: cute little faeries ^_^
...a colour: purple
...an element: water
...a car: mmm really old bugotti :] 
...a song: Join Me In Death by HIM <333
...a movie: Let The Right One In
...a bodypart: *dirty mind comes back* hehehehe >:] *misses her boyfriend*... >_>'
...a subject at school: government :D
...an object: noodles @_@
...one word: PooP
...a physical feeling: connstipation :(
...a drink: root beer :D
...an ice cream flavour: green tea
...a fairytale: bunbuku chagama
...a city: Helsinki

i just had fun with it ^_^

i tag... Rabbito, Nick, Koo and Candy Tuft! :D

♥

i wore my hair up O_O omg!

i always wear my hair down but today i decided to put it up

it was tickling my neck XD

see the bright face? i'm sunny today cuz i get to hang out with nicko ^_^

texting him this morning ^_^ hehe its a daily routine XD

when i signed in this morning i saw 2 things that made me happy:
1 i saw that Candy Tuft had a new post!! i missed you!!

then i saw this picture on rabbito-chan's blog:

we match!! =D

totally made me morning even better ♥

and thank you for all your comments! you guys are always there for me!

i ♥ you all forever!

rabbito aidyl koo and blaze!

♥~♥~hugs~n~kisses~♥~♥

here's a better picture of my hair

my teacher said she thinks it looks cute like this and to do it more :] i might

today should be a good day ^_^

hopefully me and nicko can go to the mall today

i wanna look at stuff xD

and i just found out my friend has a job at a new pizza place in the mall by my house

and that they are desperate for new workers!!

i think i'm gonna apply =D

Ten Days post 2 - Day 2

Day 1; 10 things you want to say to 10 different people
Day 2; 9 people who have influenced you
Day 3; 8 pictures to describe how you're feeling
Day 4; 7 things you do every day
Day 5; 6 songs you listen to on a daily basis
Day 6; 5 things you wish you could change
Day 7; 4 things you're craving
Day 8; 3 people who inspire you
Day 9; 2 books you've read and liked
Day 10; 1 symbol that represents you

1 - Nicko
2 - My dad
3 - Ville Valo
4 - Joan Jett
5 - Lacey Mosely
6 - Peter Steele
7 - Bam Margera
8 - Miss Kirkham (old math teacher)
9 - Mr. Matson (english teacher)

me...

i just realized that i've got 760-something blog posts and not one of them was an introduction! so i guess i'll make one right now ^_^

my name is Asberry Ann Quinones-Stewart but i only use my first last name. i used to just go by Berry (of various spellings) and i've been called Kitty since i was little, but the nickname really caught on a couple of years ago. I got it because i meow all the time and purr if you pet me (all the meows mean differnt things and yes, sometimes people pet me. dont ask xD)  I'm from Ohio but born in Kentucky. i am currently 17 years old and will be 18 on February 4th. I'm a very sensitive and very emotional person and i am very serious...i am extremely sarcastic, but i can't take sarcasm. i am very complex (to say the least) and i think (probably too) deeply about everything. i've got a post-traumatic stress disorder so certain things are hard to cope with and i'm scared of certain things because of it and get really really nervous about certain words or things that remind me of something that happened a different time.
i love art...i love dance, i love music, i love writing and every other form of self expression. in dance, ballet was my first love. in music, it's bass but the first instrument i ever played was a wooden flute. i've been drawing since i can remember and my mom said that she noticed i had a talent when i was 4 and a half when i drew somebody i knew (either from church or a family member) and she recognized them because of how i drew their ears. i love digital imaging and photomanipulation. i've never taken any classes to help me besides when i played a recorder in music class. i went to an art class outside of school for a while, but i ended up being the teacher's assistant. i also assisted teaching various dance classes with my mom along with choreographing for numerous productions back when we were in Cincinnati Black Theater Company, which i kind of miss.
when it comes to sports, i like those too, but not nearly as much. my favorite sport is hockey, which i was into for a few years and was good at, but i love baseball and i like soccer. i always wanted to play soccer but i never really had the chance. baseball, i was good at, but after the baseball field i always played at was torn down i stopped.
i've always been a cynical kind of person. i use a lot of sarcasm but i saw a lot of silly things as well and half the time i don't make any sense. sometimes i like to do things that only i think is funny, like curse at someone in an unpopular foreign language when they make me mad, but i get a laugh out of it xD there really arent a lot of things that i think is funny, but i'm amused by little things, like cloud shapes xD
i write stories and if you want to read them, i've got links to them:

Those Things I Should Have Said.. (12 chapers, still writing)

[http://thosethingsishouldhavesaid.blogspot.com]

Sorry, It was Just Me (4 chapters, still writing)

[http://sorryitwasjustme.blogspot.com]

Orphans (finished, but may continue/revise)

[http://orphansbyberry.blogspot.com]

funny facts about me:

• i cant say any words that end in "arn," as in yarn, sounds like yawen when i say it. 
• every meow means something different, one of my meows means "feed me macaroni" but i dont use that one very much
• my favorite colors have always been purple, blue and green
• i cant read books. books=words + paper, all i see is paper, and paper = drawing...then i draw in the books >.<
• i have a shirt from pre-school that i can still wear
• i can sing in Korean, German, Finnish, Spanish and Japanese 
• my first blogger friend was the amazing and kawaii ~ Rabbito Roy Lee! :D ♥ !!
• i used to not want kids and i used to not believe in families but Nick changed my mind :)
• i get pooped on by birds alot :(
• i get embarrassed easily and then cover my entire face with my hands
• i squeak when i yawn

meep :D

well if you wanna know anything else just say it or if there's anything else you wanna know about me :)

"i will do anything that i am physically capable of doing, to get you over her."

Goodmorning all.

i woke up at 6:32 today...so i had to rush out of the house to be at the bus stop at 6:35

and i don't even smell bad or look like a mess.
can we say pro?! yah we can :)
--------------------------------------

the quote at the top is something nick said to me last night..

you know the person i've been talking about in my posts lately?

the one that i say i hate?...

these arent my first posts about that person.

you guys might remember last november when i posted a song i wrote called "ifatu[h]ated." that was about her.

maybe that might give you a clue.

i'll finally let you guys know that the person i hate is nick's ex girlfriend.

i used to be the person who never got jealous of any girl ever.

the first time i ever got jealous was the summer nick and i started dating and he said something (that i wont repeat) that actually made me really really jealous. it wasn't mean or anything, but it definately made me jealous.but i forgot about it and wiped it from my mind.

then in the fall, i started to get more jealous.

i wont say everything...

remember that post about the band Deus Mortum and how the show was great and it was my first photography gig? well lets just say something seriously ruined my day..

ever since then, i have become a really jealous.. its so bad to the point where i don't look at his shoes anymore because she works at the store he got them from and reminds me of a bad weekend.

it bothers me every day..

last night on the phone nick said

"i will do anything i am physically capable of doing, to get you over her. what can i do."

i said i couldn't really think of anything..

he said "i will personally give you everything you don't like in my drawers and let you burn them."

i didn't really know what to say..

and if he means "anything" then i've already got a list...

and so far it keeps getting longer...

and longer...

and longer..

Ten Days post 2 - Day 1

Day 1;  10 things you want to say to 10 different people
Day 2;  9 people who have influenced you
Day 3;  8 pictures to describe how you're feeling
Day 4;  7 things you do every day
Day 5;  6 songs you listen to on a daily basis
Day 6;  5 things you wish you could change
Day 7;  4 things you're craving
Day 8;  3 people who inspire you
Day 9;  2 books you've read and liked
Day 10; 1 symbol that represents you

1 - you'll do anything you're physically capable of doing to get me over her? ...anything? if you mean it, then you've got alot of work ahead of you...
2 - you seriously don't look like you weigh 130.
3 - stop copying me.
4 - i hate seeing your face all day.
5 - get the f*ck off of my suggested friends! i f*cking hate you! you make me want to delete my G@d D@mn Facebook!!
6 - stop talking to my boyfriend unless you want to get your ass beat. come to his house one more time. bet you i'll be there with a shank, wager being stomach or maybe your neck if i'm in that good of a mood ^_^
7 - i feel sorry for you...i'm guessing people treating you like you're foreign doesnt really help you feel at home. i'm sure that girls in your home country don't ask you to talk every five seconds xD
8 - good luck telling her about your kid.
9 - i like your hair.
10 - shut the hell up and do your work! i dont want to talk to you!!!

l a s t n i g h t . . .

last night, for the first time in a really long time
i cried.
alot.
i think too much..
and i'm scared
i'm confused and i'm hateful
...i didn't know why i was here
and i didn't want to be.
i was thinking about somebody...
and i hate her so much..
she makes me not want to do any of the things i love
i dont want to dance
i dont want to draw
i dont want to paint
i dont want to design anything
i dont want to go to movies
i dont want to go to malls
i dont want to play bass
i dont want to run track
i cant wear nikes
i can barely wear my converse
i cant play with my old dolls
i cant listen to dubstep or screamo
i cant play 3 days grace

i am so jealous of her..
i say i'm better than her all the time just to hope that i will believe myself and wish it was true..

all i thought to myself was:
"if you can do everything i can do...
why am i even here?"

i would feel different if she wasnt older than me.. but she is
i hate her so much...
i used to just want her to go away
but now... i just want her dead..

or i at least want to move far away
i dont even want to be in this state


there are too many feelings i am feeling right now to write them out into a post...i need to talk to someone in person that can at least try to comfort me. i need to be held.. or i'll try to go for a walk to clear my head when i get home..

song of the day:
When you were here before,
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel,
Your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fuckin' special

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts,
I wanna have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul

I want you to notice
when I'm not around
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here, ohhhh, ohhhh

She's running out again
She's running out
She run run run run...
run... run...

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here

I don't belong here...

Poem - I'm Fine

from independant
to dependant
that is what happened to me

where did i go?

solitude versus loneliness
and the right side wins
but it shouldn't be the right side

what am i now?
i am by myself

i hold in my feelings
and i cant let them out
i don't want to make you mad
and i don't want to cry
and i cant cry to you
but i cant cry to anyone else
you're the only one that would understand

i hate holding it in
but i would hate to let it out
niether is good, but i have to hide that i'm hurt
it's not supposed to bother me.

now i have a half-fake confidence
and i know how to use it
but i'm having a guilt trip over lying
lying to both you and myself


but you already know,
you know that i'm not fine.


i don't want to hide anymore
but i don't want to let it out
i don't want to go crazy
even though i already am
and i don't want you to go
and i don't want to push you away
and i don't want you to think i am insane


even though you already know that i am.

i just want you to be mine.
i want to feel like you're only mine.

i want to not worry anymore.

i just want you to hold me.


will you?

i hate you forever

you make me feel like i shouldnt even exist. what is the point of me being here, if you can do everything that i do. i'm tired of seeing your face. i'm sick of hearing your name. i'm sick of thinking about you. i hate you. more than anything. i fucking hate you.