Ten Days post - Day 9

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself that most people don't know.
Day Three: Eight things you couldn't live without.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you could change or you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot to you
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons
Day Nine: Two words that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.

1. loving
2. lonely

singing...

don't watch this unless you want your ears to fall off...
i was sick and singing to lithium by evanescance with bad sound quality
...bad combo XD

this was back in september

Ten Days post - Day 8

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself that most people don't know.
Day Three: Eight things you couldn't live without.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you could change or you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot to you
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two words that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.


1. the love of art and music
2. i have a thing for tongues..
3. innocence

shoes ~ &hearts !

i browse online too much >.<

but arent these cute?!

1.blood splattered heels
2.ware-wolf flats

i love stuff like this ^_^ it makes me happy

if i were going to prom, i would wear those heels!

xD sounds like me :)

idk why i'm being so girly looking at clothes all the time now >.<
is it a bad thing? =\ i like looking at all the stuff..

and to answer your questions....

the white stuff on my cinnamon roll is melted frosting xD
hahaha and Aidyl dont be dirty minded!! haha  xD
Rabbito and Aidyl always make my day :]
me ♥ you guys long time ^_^

goodmorning ^_^

see the rade guages? i lost one of my black ones :( 

i wanna get 0 tapers so i can get in my guages

i still have my purple 00's that are my goal to get in >.<

i want them in by my birthday

------------------------------------------------------

meanwhile, doing the daily texting of the nicko :)

always makes my mornings good....

its like if i dont talk to him in the morning,

my whole day is incomplete D:

even if he calls me after school

now i'm eating a cinnamon roll

despite the questionable appearance... (xD)

it actually tastes like heaven :D

Ten Days post - Day 7

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself that most people don't know.
Day Three: Eight things you couldn't live without.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you could change or you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot to you
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons
Day Nine: Two words that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.

1. cockyness
2. pushy...
3. satanist @_@ sorry if thats shallow but i cant do it
4. straight up annoying

Poem - I Remember A Time

i remember a time when i was strong
when the nights were short and the days were long
friends were loyal and sisters were true
a time long before i met you.

i remember a time when i was young
singing to myself with a guitar, fully strung
ballet was my life and everyone always shared,
but i still never had a friend that cared.

i remember a time when i was okay
when i slept in the woods and the sky was gray
no one was with me but one little cat
i was happy, but no one could understand that..

i remember a time when i was depressed

someone broke my heart and ripped it out of my chest

i felt like a fool for believeing every lie

and did something that made me just want to die . . .

i remember a time when i was in hiding
in my room, in the house where i was residing
i was hurt so much, i just wanted to be alone
by choice, i didnt even use the house phone

now,
i remember a time when i fell in love
for real this time, like i'd always dreamed of
real love, and now for my heart to mend
i think i've found something that will never end*

Poem - MiMi

figure eights around my feet
giggle every time i weep
every time my heart is sore
the blue mouse crawls across the floor
it could be pam or 10pm
she comes around every now and then
blue just like a cartoon tear
soft little whispers in my ear
to cheer me up, she'll give a try
i know she hates to see me cry
her pink nose has never been put to shame
her ears wont accept any other name
besides the one i gave her the first time she'd seen me
yes, i'm friends with a blue mouse, that i love, named MiMi

Poem - Come Over

i miss you and i want you here with me
you dont know how bad i long to see you every day
i wish i could see
i wish we could hug

i hear your voice, but you're not here

as i drink from my coffee mug
the wolf on the side reminds me of you
whenever someone knocks at the door,
i always peak just to see if it's you
i always hope it is . . .
and whenever my phone rings,
i jump for joy to hear you speak

i still blush when you say "i love you"

Ten Days post - Day 6

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself that most people don't know.
Day Three: Eight things you couldn't live without.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you could change or you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot to you
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons
Day Nine: Two words that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.


1. Nick Mutters - my fiance...i love him more than anything, always have been there for me since the beginning. i cant explain how much he means to me. he's helped me out and made me happy. i care about him more than i have ever cared about anyone else. i admire him and i adore him
2. Papi - my father...i love him so much. always have been there for me no matter how far away and always cared about me.
3. Bella - you're like my little sister and i love you. you remind me of a younger version of myself and you have a special place in my heart. you're always here to cheer me up when i'm down and keep me company when i'm lonely. i'm always here for you too. i want people to accept you and i want the same for myself, but at least we accept eachother...i hope that's okay for now :)
4. Grandma - we share a first name...i've lived with you and you were the first person to see me in my entire life. in a way you've been like a mother to me. you're the perfect grandma. i really hope and pray you will be alive to see me get married and that my children will meet you <3 i really do
5. MiMi - i'll be completely honest...this is my imaginary pet mouse :/ when i'm sad she runs figure 8's around my feet and crawls all over me trying to make me feel better. it's a person to me...

Get Well Soon Rabbito!

made this card for rabbito who is sick with food poisoning!

get well soon i miss your blogging already :D

♥ you rabbi-chan ^_^

Scary rides!

i personally love these cars :)

i think they're just magnificent especially this first one <33

1927–1933 Bugatti Royale



2011 Bugatti Veyron 16.4 Super Sport



2011 Mitsuoka Orochi

see more here: http://editorial.autos.msn.com/slideshow.aspx?cp-documentid=1166662

wish list! ~ b-day & christmas ~ &hearts

too much stuff i want D:

1. Sims 3
2. endless eyeshadow palette
3. spider web tights
4. DropDead bat dress
5. purple star armwarmers
6. Soundgarden shirt
7. Dir En Grey shirt
8. AFI shirt <3
9. HIM hoodie <3
10. this HIM shirt <3333333

only the top 10 >.< 

i am such a greedy person XD

...i can dream,

right? hahaha XD

Ten Days post - Day 5

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself that most people don't know.
Day Three: Eight things you couldn't live without.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you could change or you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot to you
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons
Day Nine: Two words that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.


1. i wish i would have came over that day she was there.
2. i wish i had never told him not to kill her.
3. i wish i could change what you did that day..
4. i wish you would've never not cared.
5. i wish i could change that my parents aren't together.
6. i wish you had never told me what happened...but i'm glad you did anyway..

personality test...

i saw this on Koo's blog so i wanted to try it out...

i just took the first test, the short test.

here's the results...

Global Personality Test Results

Stability (23%) low which suggests you are very worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious. Orderliness (20%) low which suggests you are overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense too often of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment. Extraversion (20%) low which suggests you are very reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and secretive.

Take Free Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

trait snapshot:

messy, depressed, introverted, feels invisible, does not make friends easily, nihilistic, reveals little about self, fragile, dark, bizarre, feels undesirable, dislikes leadership, reclusive, weird, irritable, frequently second guesses self, unassertive, unsympathetic, low self control, observer, worrying, phobic, suspicious, unproductive, avoidant, negative, bad at saving money, emotionally sensitive, does not like to stand out, dislikes large parties, submissive, daydreamer

almost all of those are right :\
wow...i kinda feel like crap now :(

worst score on the second one :(

Global Personality Test Results

Stability (16%) very low which suggests you are extremely worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious. Orderliness (20%) low which suggests you are overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense too often of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment. Extraversion (23%) low which suggests you are very reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and secretive.

Take Free Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

i really dont like myself.. :\ haha..

Songs Left Unexplained #10: Invincible

this song means alot to me. alot of people underestimate this band but they have some real emotion in thier songs and i love them soo much <3

I memorized all the words for you
But if you only knew how much that’s just not like me
I wait up late every night just to hear your voice
But you don’t know that’s nothing like me

You know I wonder have you already figured out
All these things that I try to hide
All this time I’ve been hoping you don’t find out how
All these thing that I hide on the inside

I can’t be held responsible
This is all so new to me
Just when I think I’m invincible
You come and happen to me

I want to make sure everything is perfect for you
If you only knew that that’s not like me to follow through
Maybe even give up on these dead end dreams just to be with you
But you don’t know that’s nothing like me

[chorus]
Now I’m waking up
I’ve finally had enough of this wreck of a life
How I never thought I’d survive
Now I’m taking back all I gave up for that
Leave my pain behind
Wash these stains from my life

Just when I thought all was lost
You came and made it all okay

I can’t be held responsible
This is all so new to me
Just when I think I’m invincible
You come and happen to me
[2x]
I memorized all the words for you
If you only knew how much that’s just not like me


now for my meaning...


I memorized all the words for you
But if you only knew how much that’s just not like me
i dont know if i ever told him this, but i memorized 2 songs by Bring Me The Horizon, simply because it was his favorite band. this was when i first met him, and he knew i wasnt into screamo, its just not like me.
I wait up late every night just to hear your voice
But you don’t know that’s nothing like me
these 2 lines make me remember when i went to new york and he called me by accident and said that we didnt have a phone call relationship, but then he ended up calling me back and we've talked almost every day since. it wasnt like him.
You know I wonder have you already figured out
All these things that I try to hide
i wondered if he had figured out, just how much i really loved him even that early.
All this time I’ve been hoping you don’t find out how
All these thing that I hide on the inside
at the same time i didnt want him to find out how much i loved him because i didnt want him to freak out. and other problems and depression i didnt want him to know about for the fear that he would let me go..

I can’t be held responsible
This is all so new to me
honestly, i didnt have alot of relationship experience...or at least not alot of good ones. nicko treats me better than anyone, which made me happy but at the same time i didnt know how to take it because it never really happened before. and i thought i knew what love was before, but when i fell in love with nick...this was real love, i felt like i had never loved anyone else before. i have "loved" people, but this is my first time being IN love with someone.
Just when I think I’m invincible
You come and happen to me
he made me into a softy lol honestly, i was one of those girls who was always sweet, but was never as sweet as she could have been and always play fought with her boyfriends and beat them up...lol XD i was invincible, i could do whatever i wanted, but now i want to do what he wants...i had so much respect for him that punching was now irrellevant and all i wanted was hugs.

I want to make sure everything is perfect for you
If you only knew that that’s not like me to follow through
i wanted to be perfect for him, and usually i would give up on people but not him. i didnt feel like i was perfect because he did have an ex that he was serious with, and if i had given up on him then he wouldnt be mine right now. but we were best friends and i loved him, i had to be there for him and help him get over his like he helped me get over mine.
Maybe even give up on these dead end dreams just to be with you
But you don’t know that’s nothing like me
dead end dreams...perfect way to describe it. before him, i never planned on getting married, having kids or even graduating highschool. i wasnt going to make anything of myself and honestly was just going to f*ck myself over and die. i would have been so messed up if i had never met him...♥ thank you so much

[chorus]
Now I’m waking up
I’ve finally had enough of this wreck of a life
How I never thought I’d survive
Now I’m taking back all I gave up for that
Leave my pain behind
Wash these stains from my life
like i said before, i would be messed up if i had never met him. i wanted a fresh start and gave up all the bad stuff and i'm so soooo glad to have him. i thought i was just going to be a mess-up forever and die young, but i was wrong...i'm going to college and i'm going to get married and have a family. i'm happy...

Just when I thought all was lost
You came and made it all okay

I can’t be held responsible
This is all so new to me
Just when I think I’m invincible
You come and happen to me
[2x]

I memorized all the words for you
If you only knew how much that’s just not like me
♥

bored in study hall

 ughhhh everyone is so annoying >.< i just wanna smack them all!
i'm making desktop wallpapers right now :) got a request? then tell me :D

ahh i wanna go home! D:

[[ᶫᵒᵛᵉ ᵧₒᵤ]] - Miss You [[♥]]

Dear Nicko,

     i miss you! i'm sitting at school listening to music and i just got a quiz done in my online US history! we have Windows 7 on out school computers [[or maybe its Vista? i think it might be XD idk]] and i put a slideshow of pictures of us as my background :) its cute ^_^ i can always see them in the corner of the screen. i love the one where your all huddled up in a towel and you pop up on the screen like "HI!!! =D" hahaha its so cute!

see! this one!!!

you're so cute Nicko XD *blows kisses* even though you're at school i bet you're looking at this right now :P haha there's a chance if you're on the computer and you're bored [[lol]] well i'm making a whole new section on my blog of just love notes to you that i write when i'm bored and its on the Navigation ^_^

well i gotta go :D

call me baby [[♥]]

Ten Days post - Day 4

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself that most people don't know.
Day Three: Eight things you couldn't live without.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.Day Five: Six things you wish you could change or you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot to you
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons
Day Nine: Two words that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.

1. why does everything have to bother me so much?
2. i wonder if i haunt you as much as you haunt me...
3. how did my mind end up like this?
4. i wish i was as "cool" as i used to be.
5. how could you have done all of that to me?
6. why are my dreams about you? i want them to be about him :(
7. i'm hungry... i wonder if there's money in the couch so i can go to kroger...

Poem - Viaton Aistillisuus

i wrote this in finnish

sounds wierd in english to me..

etsiä minua, että viattomia kasvot

Rakastan sinua tuijottaa ylös minuun
hartiat yritys ja iho niin tiukka
tuntuu niin lämmin
ne isot kauniit silmät,

että virheetön kasvot.
iho on niin sileä.
olet niin kaunis ...

 

rakasta minua, baby
ja minä rakastan sinua

 

Rakastan sinua, kunnes kyyneleet lasku
Rakastan sinua kunnes kuolet

 

Saat minut tuntemaan elävältä
maailmassa niistä mennyt
Saat minut tuntemaan täydellinen
maailmassa puutteita

i wanna make some of the recipes on this site!

http://www.delish.com/entertaining-ideas/holidays/halloween/homemade-candy-recipes-opr1010?GT1=47009
they look so good <3
time consuming, but they look fun ^_^
and i just love candy & sweet things XD

UPDATE!

sorry for the sort of hiatus guys... did you miss me?  i missed all of you  how's life been for you guys!? i been ok  i've actually been doing good in school :D but its so frustrating  OMG STRESS!!! ahh! but anyway, that picture up there ↑ like my new glasses? :D that was at the Rennisance Festival with Nicko :) yes i am still with his little sexy butt XD he's amazing :) that was my first time at the rennisance festival :)

here's a few things me and him have been up to:

- got me a new bike 

- painted the new bike

- went to the Rennisance festival (my first time!!)

- rode bikes and bought new video games

- cuddled in a bean bag chair :D

- talked on the phone nonstop

- IM'd and listened to music

insert about 5million hugs & kisses and there's a brief summary 

hehehe i love him so much 

yesterday we hung out all day and on friday i went over too :) i finally plugged up my PS2 again and he gave me a game. Sims bustin out! :D i know its old, but i like it so far ^_^ first time playin it. and he bought me Sims2 ^_^ i'm definately happy about it!! i love sims :) sims 3 is coming out soon too...i really want it!

i've got so many pictures to put on here >.< i'm getting alot better at photoshop :D i'm trying to learn how to pixel on there...so far, i'm failing XD but you know how it is lol gotta start somewhere!

i'm on the phone with Nicko at the moment and it sounds like he's playing DiRT 2 :) i like watching him play video games for some reason...don't ask why cuz idk either XD

here's a couple of recent pictures of me:

i would also like to say RIP to my friend Aidyl's blog :( it was deleted before i could read the last post but it is gone...she's an amazing person and i hope she gets back on and remakes a blog one day. her advice always helped me out.
speaking of people i miss chatting with, i miss Rabbito, Rineko and Candy Tuft! i keep up with you guys a little on FB but i miss your blogs! i'm gonna start getting back on alot more now :)

Dios Bendiga!
i love all you guys :)

till later!! xoxo

photoshop update!

i'm getting better you guys!

 newest thing i've figured out on photoshop is how to transfer tatoos :) you guys may recognize this picture as nick by the pool. i cropped it and added a background and put all of Ville Valo's tattoos on him. looks pretty good i think :)

i was experimenting with how to make fangs and it worked! i created a layer with my teeth and used liquify and changed my eyes and berry color and armsock color...then ultra softened my skin and wah-la! Vampire Kitty :)

 hahaha! okay, this one was a joke for a friend of mine...(wont name any names XD) he's a fan of this band called Deathstars that he got me into and said he would LyKe ToTaLlY gO gAy 4 eRic BaCkmAn <3333 so i made this for him XD funny part is, he's straight! so this was a joke. but i actually kinda like the wallpaper XD

this is a banner i made for my friend Bella aka Hazuki Hotaru. this is for her new story, she has a few blogs so idk which one to link you to XD but this is for her new story called "Forget"

 made this for my ti ti mayra :) thought it was cute and tropical ^_^

hahaha XD sara is awesome lol made this for her

Ten Days post - Day 3

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself that most people don't know.
Day Three: Eight things you couldn't live without.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you could change or you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot to you
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons
Day Nine: Two words that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.

1. Nicko
2. My Laptop
3. a phone
4. Foreign Music
5. Souper Meal ramen bowls
6. Dr. Pepper, Root Beer, Cream Soda
7. ...all food
8. Love