a year ago today,

was the first time i ever saw my boyfriend.

if you don't know the story of how we came to be, then i'll tell you now.

it all started on this day.

one year ago today, i was with my ex boyfriend and it was his birthday. he had his friend call up someone to come skate with them at Jane Hoop, an elementary school in Mout Healthy. 

two cars pulled up, one was blue and i dont remember the other color.

i was sitting on the back of my ex's truck (back when we were together) and the guys had just gotten out of the car

i looked up, and i saw Nicko looking straight at me

for some reason he just really caught my eye,

he looked extremely familiar but i had never seen him before

and i had never seen anyone who looked like him before

a little later when everyone was skating

i recall the first thing i said to him was that he had hairy nipples...

a  w  k  w  a  r  d 

haha but thats what i said

then, a while later, he asked my boyfriend at the time if he could ollie off the back of his truck

so i did figure that he was kinda trying to get my attention lol

[jump foreward to june]

on the last day of school i get a message on myspace,

it was from Nicko, asking if i remembered him

i couldnt reply unless i added him so i did

so he was like "so i guess you remember me" haha

we exchanged phone#'s and what not

the next day...

i get dumped.

nick said he wanted to make me feel better and asked me to hang out on that monday

so we did,  and it was amazing.

we met in Journey's, he kept trying to buy me things but i didnt want him to...

eventually i settled for a frozen coffee lol

we talked about everything and i was completely comfortable with him

first time i looked in his eyes i just knew

not even kidding, i knew i loved him that day.

he even walked me home,

2 weeks later i finally told him.

and through those 2 weeks, he asked me out over and over and i kept saying no

but he kept on trying, and doing the sweetest things

one time he came to my house on a saturday morning just to give me m&m and rootbeer, 

cuz they were my favorites

things like that, and it just made me love him more

after those 2 weeks, he asked me out over text

i finally said i would say yes but only if he asked me in person

so he came over and asked me :)

together ever since.

and i keep loving him more everyday

i love you baby <3

Sonnet - Holding A Heart So Kind

Oh, the feel of holding a heart so kind
and looking into those eyes i adore
sweetheart, please tell me you love me once more
as our souls drift on and remain entwined
as we hold hands, our fingers intertwined
my darling, i love you from my heart's core
and since when, you've kept my heart from all sore
since that June day when the sun brightly shined
since that day, you have caught my every tear
and cured my illness in all cases
held me and took me away from my fear
knowing your air is mine, my heart races
you confess me your love and let all hear
within this desert, you're my oasis

thinking about some things,

well, alot of things...

i really dont like he-said-she-said things,

or when people do stupid things...

and above all just worried..very worried..

everything will be fine soon

a few changes...

since last night, i now have

~ new banner
~ new song
~ new about me page
~ new affiliates page
~ new banners page

if you would like to be affies, comment, or tag and your link will be on the "friends" page

the banners page has ALL of my previous blog banners all the way from the beginning :)

i hope you enjoy these new changes <3

[please comment & follow]

Painting - Leaf Lady

my art project :) finally finished it. the vines and character are 3D but you may not be able to tell here

[click to enlarge]

Poem - Amanda Werner

the last thing this world needs is another frown or tear
and i dont want to know of another one shed by you, my dear
because you deserve all your happiness and shouldnt have to live in fear
and to prevent the hole going deeper, that is why i'm here

i'll give you my trust if you give me yours as well
and i'll never break it, if i do, send me to hell
because it was immediate that to you i outbroke my shell
and from the beginning to the end, i will continue to wish you well

because you have a special place in my heart
and it hurts to know you've been torn apart
so i'll start helping pick up the pieces here from the very start
because my dear Amanda, this love is my art

written for my dear friend amanda :)

i havent known her for very long, but she's already special to me

click to see her blog :)

nice out :)

this is undedited  :)

this is my default everywhere now lol

i put it on facebook and got 3 comments on it within the same few seconds!

nick even commented it and he never comments my pictures!

then he called me to tell me i was a pretty little thing and that he loves me :)

i feel special :)

Songs Left Unexplained #5: "The Heartless"

a song i have been listening to lately.

this has become one of my favorite songs, it attracted me at first because of the instrumentals which isnt often for most songs i usually listen to the lyrics first.

and the lyrics remind me of nick and last summer...

The Heartless by HIM

Your pain ain't love

Can't you see he's the heartless
Your pain is not love
He's taking it way too far
Don't you know it is wrong
You're the one for me lady
You are the one
If you'd only see in my heart
You'd know all is not lost

Your time is running out
And you still haven't made up your mind
Can't you see he's the heartless
And you're one of a kind

He's the heartless...

You can't see he's the heartless
Your pain won't ever be love
It doesn't matter how hard you try
To you all is lost

He's the heartless..



and now for this



Your pain ain't love
he knew i was hurt and wanted to help me. this line reminds me of the poem he wrote me, when he said "you're falling but i'm falling too, i'm falling but not in the same way as you" he was focusing on trying to help me feel better because i was really hurt but fell in love with me in the process, but he didnt think i loved him back.


Can't you see he's the heartless
Your pain is not love
He's taking it way too far
Don't you know it is wrong
he was making me realize more and more that he was the one for me and not my ex...my ex took it too far and started dating my best friend at the time, and just hurt me more.
You're the one for me lady
You are the one
If you'd only see in my heart
You'd know all is not lost
nick really put himself out there to show me that he cared even after barely knowing me. i knew i barely knew him but he really acted like he loved me, because he did. those last two lines remind me of the last line of that poem he wrote "remember my words, i wouldnt be a mistake..."

Your time is running out
And you still haven't made up your mind
Can't you see he's the heartless
And you're one of a kind
he asked me out over and over again and i just wouldnt say yes. after a little while i really thought my time was running out. i needed to make up my mind to either confess to him that i absolutely adore him, keep being friends or just stop talking to him so i dont get hurt...but i made up my mind and i had to tell him i love him. i knew that it would be worth it. and it has been more than worth it. he really does make me feel like i'm something and i love the feeling ♥

He's the heartless...
he is...he came to my friend's house and completely ignored me and everything i said...we used to be best friends and now im nothing..and he said he doesnt know what love is, and just proves over and over that he really is heartless.


You can't see he's the heartless
Your pain won't ever be love
It doesn't matter how hard you try
To you all is lost
that last verse would have happenned if nick had never saved me. i would be so messed up and hurt, it would have been horrible. it happenned to me once before, but now it will never happen again


He's the heartless..
he is. but my love isn't ♥

today i get to be out of uniform because i got on the Honor Roll :)

be very proud of me :D

and i haz pop tart :)

Drawing - Leaf Fairy

first layer, watercolors

second layer, colored pencil

axis chemicals photoshoot ~

rob (guitar)

rose (vocals\bass)

link (drums)

rose

rob

link

tell me watcha think :)

stupidest almost-fight ever.

i walked into second block and sat down.

Travis and Steven came in and sat down.

then Nikk came in and sat down.

a minute later, Tony came in.

~time for the stupid part~

Tony comes in and starts trying to pull Nikks desk away because he wanted to sit there,

no words exchanged.

Nikk gets out of his chair, a little mad obviously

(i would be to)

he said "If you're gonna be a little b**** about it then go ahead and take it"

and he threw his book onto another desk and got up

but instead of just sitting down, Tony pushed him at the wall and threw Nikk's book into the hallway

so Nikk pushed him back then started trying to step over the chair to go get his book

and Tony keeps going and pushes a desk into Nikk again

then Miss Kirkham told them to get out.

it was so stupid!

he could have just sat in one of the other 20 empty desks around the room

it was so immature, it made me mad

what the hell happened? Tony used to be cool

we used to be really good friends too, and then he changed

i cant believe i ever went out with him or was even friends with him now

he was more mature when i first met him,

FRESHMAN YEAR!

that was just dumb.

and even worse, Nikk was in danger of force-failing because of attendance

and Tony just got him suspended for 3 days so now he's really gonna fail...

and he's a senior, so that means he wont graduate and he's already stayed an extra year

i really dont think thats fair at all

that was so thoughtless of Tony to do

hopefully they cut Nikk some slack cuz that's just not fair

it wasnt even his fault and he wasnt trying to fight at all

hopefully they still let him pass

420

today is 4/20

a.k.a.

national pot-smoking day 

and guess who's not smoking...

me and nicko :)

~

doing a photoshoot for rose's band today

i cant wait :)

upset about today :( excited about tomoro :)

this morning i woke up really tired.

pretty much didnt do anything to groom myself and then left for school

i had gotten in a bad mood from the night before

i was online and put my status as "i love you, and i miss you,"

then my ex has the nerve to put "nope" so i was pretty pissed

because:

1.never was i talking about him

2.he's a dick to me now

i had just got off the phone with my pretty boy Nicko so i set that as my status :)

but no he had to go ruin it. and make me mad.

but that's taken care of, so on with life.

the school day went quite well so i was in a good mood when i got out

but when i came home, my sister wasnt home which was wierd,

when she got here she said she forgot her key...which is bad

since i dont have a key & she's the one who lets me in

she said she was going to grandma's to go get the key so i took out my laptop to pass the time

little did i know, grandma came home

then picked up tehya and went to burger king

i was sooo sad! i cant believe they left

i called tehya because she hadnt come back after 20 minutes and found out she forgot all about me!!

she came home and didnt even bring me anything

so she gave me the fries from her kids meal.

and after all that,

she didnt even have the spare key.

so my laptop died around 4 and i was there until 9:15 bored crapless.

~~~~~now for the good news~~~~~

tomoro i am doing a photoshoot for the band Axis Chemicals :)

it's my friend Rose's band, and i get to watch thier practice too

she plays bass and does lead vocals

i'm going right after school to her house so she can get ready & then we're going to the practice

i'm excited :)

this is the second band i'll be the photographer for,

the first is Deus Mortom (use the search on the sidebar for the post of thier photos or go to the November archives)

i've also made some new friends on here :)

check out thier blogs:

Amanda

[http://amandakrystalx3.blogspot.com]

Candy Tuft 

[http://candyunnietuft.blogspot.com]

they're very sweet girls :)

i love them already!

sushi lunch ♥

sushi and mango ice cream :) favorite things to eat <3

next time i'm getting green tea ice cream hehe <3

~ for Rabbito-Chan ~

I edited a picture of you ^_^

hope you like it

[click here to see]

this chick bad, this chick hood; this chick do stuff that ya chick wish she could :P

i told Nicko on Friday that i would be "ghetto" for a week lol

there's my hood picture :D

i am half black but people always call me white because of the way i talk and act

but i dont know how to talk or act anyother way, thats just who i am and how i was raised

but oh well, haha

and i found out i like Nicki Minaj...

i took a screenshot of her and edited it because i think she is just adorable ~

i was reading about her the other day and i thought it was cool that she is trying to get the music world used to having a female rapper and focuses more on rapping than trying to look cute, which is why she makes wierd faces all the time and stuff. i admire that :)

and im starting to really like my hair style :)

but im still gonna straighten it soon