if you still follow me on this blog...

please follow my new one :)
aeridescent.blogspot.com

please follow my new blog!

http://aeridescent.blogspot.com ! i follow back asap!

PLEASE FOLLOW MY NEW BLOG, I NO LONGER WILL BE UPDATING THIS ONE!

rest in peace to this url... please follow me at http://aeridescent.blogspot.com!
i follow back and i update it! there's already new stuff on it ~~

there's 62 followers and only 14 have refollowed T-T
i thought you guys loved me! xD

well, just saying hi and please re-follow ^_^

new url! (and Google+ !)

please follow my new blog: aeridescent.blogspot.com !
it's still under construction, so beware xD nothing made forsure just yet,
it will have all of my posts from this blog and i will still leave this blog up so my links and pictures don't break.
WHY AM I LEAVING THIS URL:

1. i don't go by berry anymore.
2. the other blog is the account is attatched to my youtube account.
3. i'm actually running out of data space on picasa web albums :| lol
4. i think it would be a nice change :)

please re-follow! if you  follow me, i'll follow you back :)
and of course, i'll follow my friends by default <3


GOOGLE+ !
my aunt mayra emailed me about this! it looks pretty cool :) google's trying to bring the internet to life pretty much :) you make your profile and add your friends and family, and you can "hang out" with them, as in get everyone in a group and talk through webcam all at once! it looks fun ^_^ i cant wait to get all my family on there xD maybe tonight i can talk to my aunt ^_^ her hubby's in afganistan right now so she needs her friends and family ^_^
if you make an account you can look for me :D
email: azbaeri@aol.com

bye <3

RABBITO

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I MISS YOU SO MUCH!
i hope you're doing well in all of your classes and making tons of new friends ^_^ i hope your birthday is blessed <3 !

"from now on, we're just going to be d*cks to anyone that wants our help" [a fill-in-the-blanks update]

this is supposed to be happy times. lately i have only told you all about the good times of this summer, then left out the bad things, and they're worse than you think sort of bad.

basically, we've spent our anniversarry week helping someone who didnt even want it and almost breaking up and getting mad at eachother and being stuck in the middle of another couple's drama.

started on saturday. all that week, i'd been so happy and so excited. the corpus christi festival was saturday and i just couldnt wait! i wanted to go so badly with nick, because we did the first year, we didnt get to last year because it got messed up... so i couldnt wait for this year. i was on the phone with him and he had mentioned it a couple of times so i was really really hopeful and more excited because i was thinking to myself "i think it's really happening!!!" i was on the phone with him and his phone rang and he answered. while he still had me on the phone, i heard a girl's voice... i didn't know who's so i assumed it was his ex, because he used to always answer her and what other girl would call him? after a while, he set the phone on his dresser so i couldnt hear anymore... which made me feel wierd.. so i IM'd him on the chat on teamviewer (a thing where you can see the person's desktop and chat and webcam at once we use it all the time to share with eachother and watch things together at our houses when we're apart) because it wouldnt make a loud sound (whenever he gets an IM on msn his computer screams BUST THAT A$$ lol!) and he didn't answer me...so i tried and again and again and again... still no answer... so i really truely thought he was talking to agi until i could hear nick a little and noticed it was actually maryrose, his best friend's gf and an aquaintence of mine, we used to hang out alot. i was so mad that he actually answered her and when he finally replied to me all he said was "hold on" and he hung up on me without any notice. i got really upset and i was freaking out. if i did this to him he would have dumped me, and he wouldnt hang up. after a about an hour of watching him talk to her, not knowing what she's saying or he's saying, i really was upset, seeing him seldom smile as he talked to her really hurt me. our anniversarry was in 5 days and it was the anniversarry of our unnoficial first date that day, i couldnt believe he would ever talk to another girl on a day as special as this, especially not after last year. he got off teamviewer, so now i couldnt see him or hear him. it felt like he was hiding it from me, because he got off, so i couldnt see him or his desktop, so i'm like "why are you hiding?" in my head and it was so suspicious to me and it upset me so bad, they were on the phone for hours. i IM'd him on msn and he finally talked to me back. then he told me he got off the phone, and then he left to his friend's house he said... i later on found out he actually didnt talk to larry..... nick didnt text me back all day and night he would only say "i love you" whenever i expressed any negative feeling, which honestly just tells me he's doing something he knows is hurting me.

he missed our date.

i stayed up all night waiting for him to call me.

no call.

i fell asleep for an hour, then woke up and just laid there.

at 5 am i finally get a call from him. i texted him and honestly didn't think in a million years he'd reply at 5 in the morning, he wont even stay up with me till midnight, rarely even 11. but i got an answer.

he said "you're gonna think it was the worst thing ever, but maryrose just left my house"

first the shock hit me. the shock that he was awake, then the shock that he really had her there, the shock that he stayed up that late for her, that she practically spent the night at his house, the shock that i started balling my eyes off and him not saying a word and hanging up, then i just went insane in my house. i cried and cried because i was so pissed and sad and it really broke my heart that he would do that to me and it made me want to hate him because he knew it was wrong and he would hate me forever if i did that to him. i was so insanely mad. i didn't sleep at all.

when i went to church i didn't go in, i sat in the car the whole entire time. i turned off my phone except for when i wrote a song on it, which only took about 2 minutes and recorded it on there, then turned it off again. when i got home i got nick's i'm sorry message begging me not to hate him. he knows i wont ever hate him, but he knows that when he does something like this that i want to. he apologized and promised me he'd make up for it..........

we hung out all week, but it's like it was all about her. everytime we were doing something, she called. and cried. and called. and called to cry. i was very annoyed, irritated, agitated, aggravated, and pretty much any other word you can think of, with the situation. we went out of our way and happiness to go help her out. to "be there for her" and tell her what's going on when she's not around. which was sorta wrong in a way.

thursday i think, was the big drama day. larry was with another girl and i told her she was there so she could go and face the problem head on. so she did. we heard so much screaming and yelling through the window. everyone who's anyone in the group of friends ( i refer to as "the army" ) was there. coming in order, to back up larry. some people just came, and were neutral. some were on his side, some were on hers. i remember seeing her screaming and smashed up against the window. after everything inside, she was crying alot and he was even bribing her to leave with 100$ she finally sped away and 2 ppl followed her to ride home with her to make sure nothing bad happens.

i texted her twice asking if she was alright. no answer.

nick texted her the same thing, immediate response.

what i thought at that point: you're the same. you didn't change as much as they say. you're just like i said you are. and just like you yourself said you are. you hate all girls. i'm not dumb. when he told me you were talking to him about him cleaning your room and wanting to shop for baby clothes, then you telling me your own self that you wish larry was more like nick, that you want larry to act like nick, proved me right in my head. you cant replace him, at least not with my nicko. you were really backhanded to me, just like before. you apologized for EVERYTHING, and said how sorry you felt, and we talked like friends, you even asked me to hang out and i almost did. you said: "I'm here crying my eyes out about larry spending time with another girl and how bad i feel about it and jealous and like hate him, and here i am with nick...doing the same thing to you" and you said you were sorry. i tried to make you feel better, saying it was a different situation. but, it's really not. larry's freaked out that you're pregnant and he got arrested and you fight with him all the time, so now he's not paying as much attention to you like he should be, but he's spending time with another girl because of it and "doesnt even like her" and calls larry her "best friend" code word for "guy thats not my bf cuz i already have one but that im gonna touch and flirt with anyways even tho his gf is pregnant." you're freaked out because you're pregnant and he's with another girl doing the same things with her that he did with you, and calling another guy constantly, 30 times to be exact, and crying to him talking about your baby and wanting him to do daddy-like things wit you. wanting nick to be "there for you" basically, code word for "temporary boyfriend." which means you're no different than larry is. you're doing the same thing.... and me, you're just backhanded to me ---and nick.

yesterday: horrible. long and horrible. she makes us come down more than once. the last time because he was hitting her, then he left. and about half an hour after she says "come here right now" she finally comes outside. crying. we walk her to nicks after talking about what happened to her. it happened last night and the morning. we brought her into nicks house while she was crying and freaking out. she was crying insanely, just hysterically. saying everything we already know and heard over and over again. nick hates crying. i was so jealous that she gets to cry to him and i dont. why does she get the privelage? anyway, we gave her advice. loads of it and all of it was right and good. nicks dad came home and also talked to her. wen her bf came home, we took her to her car, drove  her there to make sure he didnt see her. then she went home.

---and does exactly the opposite of all the advice we told her.

we were pissed.

we wasted our time, time that was really precious for us. our anniversarry of the day we said i love you, was spent helping someone who needed it but didnt even want it. she just went and done the exact same thing she was doing before. she just wanted attention and people to vent to, she didnt actually want the help.

i think all of her feelings are true, about how bad she feels and hating everything because of that other girl, because i have felt that way before....and because she is pregnant, it amplifies everything. i wish it amplified your intuition when it comes to listening to people -_-

yesterday:
turns out we got throught to her that day after all. and that's all i'll say. i'm glad she did the right thing. i still dont want to be in that big dramatic mess though. i hope she takes every single thing we said to her and uses it to her advantage. it came out of the good of our hearts.
if there's a God, i think he should bless us for our effort and the amounts of time we sacraficed for her, and i really hope it's worth it. she apologized to us and we assured that we dont hate her.
i think things will be better from now on. i just realy hope she goes to the doctor as soon as she can. i hope the baby is okay after all of this. and i hope larry doesnt do anything stupid to make things worse...
last i heard he got kicked out of his house. he;ll be fine i think, he has alot of friends. i'm much more worried about her than him though. her health is more important than anything.
i think everything going to get better if she really does what we say.
hopefully it does.

i want to get on with my happy summer :)
and i plan to.

* + ♥［２ ＹＥＡＲ ＡＮＮＩＶＥＲＳＡＲＲＹ ］♥ + *

end of the second and start of the third :)

and it was awesome <33

i mad a cookie cake sweet enough for the occasion :)

isnt it adorable? it was a giant chocolate chunk cookie with icing, sprinkles and some oreos :) it was so sweet that it made us sick! xD

we spent the whole day skating, eating, having fun and just loving eachother :)

here's some pictures from the day for some memories <3

the clouds were gorgeous :)

well hello there tall dark and handsome :) despite how pale the picture makes him look haha he's gorgeous <3

mess up pictures, i only caught the lights. but i think it looks cool :)

my baby skating :)

another day to remember <3

i love our days together. i hate when we're apart. i feel lonely and miss him so much when we are, i cant wait to see him again every time. i miss him so much even though i just saw him yesterday <3

love is the best feeling there is. you get butterflies all day long. you can have fun and be yourself. you can be best friends. and you can have that indescribable happiness that only they can give you.

will post again soon <3

hopefully nick blogs a little about this too :)

i wanna know what his would say <3

xo

♥

2 days until our anniversarry :D

he's so cute :) even with the facial hair <3

smiles :D

my favorite <333

he looks like an otter! (see comparison below)

kisses <3

 thats my nicko :) can you believe it's gonna be 2 YEARS?! i'm so excited :)  i'm gonna make a cookie cake ^_^ i gotta do finishing touches on the book too ^_^ and some other things...

tomaro is the anniversarry of the first day we said "i love you."

i want it to be all about love <3

i hope it turns out perfect :) i'm really really excited :)

for both of us, its our first real and FULL 2 year anniversarries with anyone :)!!!!! i'm excited for it :)

and here is a corrected picture of the breakfast in bed post xD

i forgot the facial hair! :D

still just as adorable <333

well, nothing else i wanna talk about ^_^

i'll do a real post again after the anniversarry! trust me, it will definately be really long and picture heavy ! ♥

-----------------------------------------

and RABBITO I SAW YOUR COMMENT! yes, i do have the same mobile number! :D i texted you but you didnt reply :( i miss you!! talk to me when you can :D

b r e a k f a s t i n b e d ♥

i came to nick's today early in the morning [[as usual]] but this time i woke him up in person :) so he woke up with me laying next to him :) he was so cute all tired and stuff :D <3 a little while later, i myself fell asleep >.< having waken up really early plus the walking and soaking of my feet in rain water i fell asleep up in his bed.

apparently during that time, he was busy. he taps me and wakes me up and there he is standing in front of me, i look down and he's holding a big plate of pancakes loaded with butter and syrup just the way i like it ^_^ then he made what is most likely to be the BEST chocolate milk EVER MADE. it was like a liquid hershy bar!!! i loved it :D it was so sweet and so thoughtful of him <333

because i walk to his house every day right when i wake up, i never eat anything before i go and usually for half of the walk i'm still practically sleeping still. i was totally speechless when he brought it to me :) after i was done i gave him a super big hug and he gave me a kiss and i just couldnt stop kissing him xD i was so so excited and happy and blissful :D <33 it was so awesome :)

well i'm going back home in about 30 minutes sadly :(

i wish i could spend more time with him...

today he mentioned the festival so i'm feeling really hopeful about it :) its on saturday. we went a couple years ago as a date sorta thing before we were actually a couple. its kinda special to me :)

i cant wait till our anniversarry <33

long time no see! [[♥.update.♥]]

ohayo gozaimasu  it's 10AM here now, and summer!  

a few things have gone on since i last posted.

i got a job interview at the Speedway gas station
 right up the street from my boyfriend's house,

and it went really well, so i might get the whjob! *hoping*

as you can see in the picture, i dyed a little of my hair too  

i think i look younger in that pic xD it's very recent,

 taken yesterday  

 i'm hanging out with nicko right now, we are still together of course

our2yearanniversarryisinonly8days
i am so excited ^_^ i still havent chosen what i want as a gift,
but i know what i'm getting him :) and i'm making a cookie cake

   i cant wait   !!!

if you could only see how my face when i think about it <3

trust me, it is a very very happy happy face :) hehe.

so  here's a run down of randomness that has been happening in my so-called life while you were away:

my boyfriend getting stalked by a 30 year old woman that was in love with him (long story xD) not a very fun situation, but it's over with now. she's part of the reason i havent blogged/vlogged in a while cuz she hacked me and even deleted some posts but i was prepared and recovered them. she had all my passwords and stupid crap like that and wouldnt leave nicko alone! sadly, it was someone who i've known since i was a kid, crazy situation, dont really wanna talk about it xD

was looking for a job, now gotta interview, now waiting for the call back to see if they really want me :) so hopefully they do. i got good memories of that place from me and nick's first summer together so it would actually mean something to me <3

me and nicko have spent almost every morning together :) i usually end up leaving around 2:30.. today he asked me to go to the mall and wants to buy stuff with me ^_^ i really hope that it happens!! cross ur fingers with me xDD we have so much fun together, like we live together :) cook together, play xbox together, cuddle, everything <3 i love it :D i cant wait for our anniversarry!

i have had a really strong urge to start really painting again, like on canvas like i used to. anyone wanna donate? xD i miss it, the expression i guess. i even wrote a song the other day again. which was actually nice to feel that. i had stopped doing creative things for a while.

i finally watched the live action movie for Beck Mongolian Chop Squad! and got nick to watch part of the anime >.> idk if he liked it, cuz he kinda hates anime lol but ya never know :D it was a really different show! and my new anime obsession is La Corda d'Oro :) ~primo passo~

i promise i'll update again soon :) but only if you say you miss me :D

lovelovelovelovelove you all!!! xoxo, aeribaby <3333

it always feels like the world's out to get me;

it's so hard to figure out whether this summer is bad or not. there's alot of good, nick passed all of his classes, i'm so proud of him. that means he doesnt have summer school, which means i get to see him alot this summer. we've been hanging out more. we saw eachother a couple days ago and even though it was only for a few hours, they were fun. amazing. close. we talked about things we dont normally talk about, and in a different way than we usually talk...it was enchanting. any time talking to him in person, feels so much more comfortable rather then when we're on the phone.


so, what could possibly go wrong?


3 of his close friends arrested, 1 in jail, the other has been caught yet and the other got bailed out -and also has a child on the way with a girl who i wouldnt necessarrily call my friend, but will now be around forever....ever...ever..ever.
but you guys know me better than that, just because i dont like her doesnt mean i dont care. if there is a person, and you know them, and they are about to have a child, and the dad cant be there. and they're the type of person who would get overwhelmed easily by default - a baby not making anything easier. she just got the first pictures of her baby. her dad finally decided to step in and support her after he realized he was a hypocrite because he had a child at her age too. in a couple of weeks, she finds out the gender. and this morning, she finds out the father of her child has done something - well, stupid - and went to jail.
someone had to talk to her, i was really worried about her and her baby. i heard that when the mother is stressed or upset, it takes a toll on the child, which can also harm the mother... and also knowing of things she's done before, even threatening her own life. she cries alot and stresses easily...a situation like hers this morning would make anyone flip thier lid a little, but because of how she is, it could have been worse for her than others. nick talked to her to make sure she was alright and not doing anything dumb, and he said she "yelled" at him over text. kind of ungrateful of her...seeing that she's lucky that anyone actually cares or thought to check on her :/ especially me, after all the out of line things she said to me and the dirty looks she's been giving me since she starting coming around what was my new group of friends. and i thought i was jealous...she's worse than me...i stopped being completely nice to her because i was tired of her getting whatever she wants, so i pretty much mocked her to her face and she acted confused, i thought in my head "now do you get how crazy you seem sometimes?" she was asking if MY boyfriends parents knew if she was pregnant, i'm thinkin "why would that matter? he's MY bf?..." her bf's parents dont even know yet. she was saying how she "felt so awkward being in nicks house because she doesnt know how his parents feel about it or if they know" so i pulled a *le gasp* oMg u Wer In HiZ hOuSe? he didnt tell me that!! ugh!! *fake sad/mad face* -ramble ramble mumble mumble- and she was trying to defend herself like "but my bf was over there!! blah blah blah" and i just kinda laughed...cuz in reality i didnt care, cuz i know her bf had to be over there, he wouldnt let her at nicks without him.
this week i know of 2 girls, one asks if she and her friend can come swim at my bf's house at 11pm. i'm not stupid. i know she's a whore, everyone does...by experience i'm sure. last year she tried to kiss my boyfriend, and its his ex too. i'm not retarded, last year she comes to his house with a bunch of people, wearing no underwear, now you wanna come show off your bikini to him. he said "idc" and went to sleep. they came over and text him like he cared LOL said they'd leave if he didnt come out...he was too busy dreamin about me, SORRY BITCHEZ :P
another girl texts him tonight...says she is in a "touchy feely mood" lives right up the street for the part of the summer only...has been trying to get in his pants for years...he's known her forever, but idc, he's mine...she has no right to be saying that stuff to him...but i always wonder what he says to a text like that...does he say "no i'm engaged" or "i'm taken" or mention me at all?...for some reason i dont think he would mention me...which saddens me...because yeah its good you reject her, but not mentioning you have a gf makes it seem like you're available which means she can try all she wants...but it isnt the case...

it's like, why do people target me? why dont they do this to someone else's bf? why do people
have to mess up MY summer? i know that i sound selfish...but i think i deserve it.
i passed all my classes.
i am looking for a job.
i have been a loyal partner.
i have been very patient.
i have tried my best to understand things.
i worked hard.
i did my best.
i made it through hard times.
i made it through last summer.
i made it through this year.
i think i deserve to have my perfect summer.

i dont want any distractions, i just want my love. like i did when i truely loved for the first time 2 summers ago... i felt the magic again in the smell of the air, because a couple of weeks before summer started, we got a wiff of the air of our first summer. and he said we would make this summer better than the first. that sets the bar high, and i was looking really foreward to it. but now...is it possible?


i'm happy right now, but there's one thing on my mind. it's all i can think about and makes me want to cry...i dont when i'm around him, but as soon as i go home now, it's all i think about. i choke up about it, because it's one of those things that i fear.. and i dont want to talk about it..
until later...xo, aeri baby

the poem he wrote me ♥

i never got to post this, he said i could a long time ago.. so here it is :) the famous poem that nicko wrote me nearly 2 years ago before we were dating.
it's really special and dear to me <3 so here it is, his "emotions on paper"


~Silent Love~
i first saw you, so innocent and so happy.
Having a chance? never crossed my mind.
I saw true love in your eyes.
But saying these words now only true in that line.
I see hurt covered by smiles.
and laugh covered lies.
Like waiting for nights tide you sit and think, you're bringing your own pain like you're waiting to sink.
I try to hold you up, but i think i'm falling to...hard but not in the same way as you.
I think about you every second. your all i want.
I want to feel your soft skin, you're sweet to my touch.
My feelings for you so strong, yet i'm simply another friend.
If you really could feel how i do toward you, its so hard to explain.
I will say nothing in fear to ruin,
friendship.
I wish i could have your heart but it's already been taken.
Still no chance, i'm just another boy.
saying it'll be ok. you've heard it before.
Yes, I know no matter what. I say you've heard it all its all the same.
My love for you no one can break.
remember my words.
I wouldnt be a mistake...

my favorite piece of writing and always will be <3

good mood :3

possibly new collectoons siggy? :3

i'm in a great mood ^_^ i had a cute convo with nicko, and he said he's gonna make up for everything and take me out to the mall for our date and spend 2000 on me xD 2000 is alot, but i thing it was figurative speech :P
either way, i am happy for our date!! i've been waiting for it for so long <333 its gona be so fun :)

i'm already home, got to go home early since i dont have exams. i am going to do online school called ECOT for next year or this summer to make up for my credits i missed. better than going back, plus i can work on my own pace, at my house or wherever. i'll sit at panera ^_^ ...xD

and i am loving the collectoons forum now! i was a little bored before...but now i'm making friends :) ever since i started making sigs, people are being so nice to me :D and there are so many friendly people~!! and i get so many complements on my designs ^_^ i wont lie, i like compliments :D they make me feel good about what i do, and i'm not used to getting feedback like that so its exciting ^_^

more made sigs for ppl:

i am eating some leftover chicken & gnocchi from olive garden last night, it heats up so well <3
best thing for a sore throat :) its smooth and is sort of like chowder, and there are small smooth dumplings that feel good to swallow, it soothes the scratchyness :) and i covered it with cheese xD now for some zeppoli <3 the best desert :D comes with chocolate sauce too :) well, this is all for now! ttyl!!

more sigs :D

i might end up doing an entire page on these o_o

they are seriously addicting to make >.<

i like that theres a limit because of the size and experimenting how much i can do with it, then coming up with themes and muses...it makes me feel so creative :D i guess graphic design as a hobby only wouldnt be so bad...maybe i could have like an online job making walpapers or something lol who knows!!

maybe not a career...but i want it to be something :)

collectoon siggy's :)

i put up a request on collectoons to do signatures for people that i made of photoshop...looks like i'm a hit :)

these are the ones i did so far. the very last one is obviously mine :P

3 more requests since yesterday too @_@ i will have a busy afternoon!

i think im good at this :D

another reason i'm depressed that i cant go to art school -.-