Homecoming —Last Saturday

there's one word to describe me before homecoming:

awkward.

i got dressed and packed some stuff then my mom wanted to take pictures of me...i dont know why. thats the best one up there ^ which means they were all bad. i was paranoid & nervous. as soon as my boyfriend got here i squealed and ran back up the stairs (while hating the fact i was wearing heels)

my mom drags me to the door and gets me out, i look at Nick, who was looking adorable and was like "oh crap, i'm gonna make him look so ugly..."  i was totally bad looking compared to him, or at least in my opinion i was. both of our mom's were totally camera-ready and caught all of my awkwardness...but they also got his adorableness :)

this one is my favorite that i made, when he was giving me my corsage. <3

one of the reasons i was scared was that i gonna be meeting his friends...i remembered one of them because he couldn't remember my name at the football game, haha but thats about it. i met them and they were all nice. it was cool how i went to HIS school's Homecoming but we met one of MY friends too, lol. my friend Kelsi's boyfriend goes there so we hung out with her too :) she took a couple pictures during the dance.

sadly, for maybe the first half of the dance i was kinda standin by myself :( i guess Nicko didn't feel like dancing...or at least not with me, haha. I think he danced with maybe half of the guys there, lol.

i think my favorite part might have been when he did "the dance" he actually got the guys to do it with him in a line, it was sooo funny! it looked a bit like this:

yes, the motion is supposed to simulate pelvic thrusts.

every time he does this, i smile :) lol

after the dance, we went back to his friend's house. it was raining and cold. a bunch of us got in the hot tub and i questioned myself about getting in the pool, but i didnt...i was chicken. lol. me and one of the guys dates, Amy, laid on the trampoline. it was wet and slippery but it felt good at the same time— besides the fact that our eyes were being pelted with raindrops, lol.

one thing i remember,

we sat by the fire with everyone (outside in the rain) and i was cold

nicko asked me if i wanted my jacket, as usual i tell him not to get it for me

but he does anyway

one of his friends was like "woah is that nick being sweet?!"

i was like yeah he does that alot

he rplied "with the way he talks, it doesnt seem like he'd be sweet"

aww, poor nicko lol

i look like a little kid hahaha

Friday,

i went to a football game at my boyfriend's school. i had fun, haha. my friend Kelsi was also there because her boyfriend is on the football team and goes to all the games. i hung out with her and Nicko pretty much the whole time.

when i got there i was really scared, cuz i didnt know anyone there...

but to my surprise, everyone knew me!

apparently, nicko brags about me to everyone, and he's knows pretty much  everyone..he said he talked about me all the time but i thought he was kidding! apparently he wasnt, lol.

i remember one guy, he walked up to us and then he was like "HOLD ON..." then he's thinking really hard and he was like "KITTY!" i was like yea, thats me, haha.

people knew me by name lol (nick name)

it was pretty cool

then my friend from church, briana, we ran into her...

nicko and briana's boyfriend thought we looked alike,

but they didnt knew we knew eachother

i remember looking over at her

and she was like "...Asberry?!"

and we were all like "Heeeey i know you!"

it was funny, our boyfriends were like

"WTF?!"

priceless.

of course, there was a huge scene

nicko's friend was pissed at his other friend

so he's yellin & goin everywhere

i had no clue what was going on,

so i just sat there like

la la la la...

it was a good day

^_^

my boyfriend's prettier than me

 

[Photo credit : Kelsi Howell]

Personality Developement: "Nature vs. Nurture*

Today in my fourth class, Pshycology/Sociology, we were talking about the Nature vs Nurture debate or Genetics vs How You Were Raised. Mrs.Disbro says that most people are in the middle and dont choose, i know i cant. It's gotta be both...there cant be just one, here's some of my thoughts on on some of the topics we discussed in class. i'll compare between me and my sister and our family situation. I'm blogging about it because i raised my hand and she kinda didnt call on me, then when she did, i didnt get to finish and the next time i was just too frustrated to even want to say anything, haha sorry!

SHYNESS

nature or nurture?

it could be NATURE...my little sister was always kinda quiet (even though her voice is loud) she was timid and kinda shy when she was younger. when she was a baby and a toddler, she almost never cried unless she was really hurt. Now that she has more friends and has grown up a little more, she's more outgoing and has no problem talking to people.

it could be NURTURE...i didn't start out shy. i used to be the little girl who would just go up to people and ask them a question or tell them something and try to make friends. after a little while that changed. i started getting made fun of alot and i became really quiet and kinda scared to talk to people especially after 5th grade when my school closed and i had to change schools & started staying home alone more.

ANGER

nature or nuture?

it could be NATURE...for me, an anger problem is something i was just born with. It's a trait from my dad that i inherited, i guess. i did notice that some of the things i do when i'm angry are things that he does and a couple other people have noticed too (that know my dad) my mom said the way i get mad also reminds her of her brother Willy (R.I.P.) i never knew him, but my grandma has said the same thing and has called me his name several times.

it could be NURTURE...my sister didn't used to get mad easily, and still doesnt but she gets mad more now than she used to. i know from people at her school and previous school have done things that really frustrate her (one in particular) and with her situation living far from her friends and not talking to them as much could be a part of it— and i know i'm a part, i'm the older sister so i know i frustrate her. sorry teh! :)

______________________________________

~another thing with nature and nurture...when my mom left my dad, my sister was still a baby, but i was about 4. she might not be as angry also because she didnt go through the divorce like i did. She doesnt even remember it, but i remember leaving. she's never really lived with him besides our summer or christmas visits. my mom told me about the divorce years after it happened and before i knew i was clueless, which made me more mad. so it looks like my anger is both nature and nurture.

i may write more on this subject later, but i had to get my thoughts out. i kinda like being able to compare things like this.

 

wow, how wierd,

i just blogged on a school subject

?!

Check Out One of My Favorite Blogs...Ciao Florentina!

click the banner to go to CiaoFlorentina.com!

i was on twitter and maybe a few months ago at the most, a charming lady named Florentina started following me and was my 80th follower. She's a really sweet person and is also very pretty and a talented cook! I remember when she first got her WordPress blog, i bookmarked it right away! then soon enough, her web site was up and now its flourishing :) she makes all kinds of things, like these:

Chicken & Dumplings

Florentina Salad

Cherry Tomato Crostini

(all pictures are by Florentina, and all are from CiaoFlorentina.com)

the best part is that she also posts her recipes so you can make everything she does! My grandma and i are planning to make her spagetti & shrimp recipe sometime. doesn't all this food look good? Well check out her site and see what else she's got, there's lots of food to love!

As Florentina would say:

Peace, Love & Food!

And Please Nominate http://www.ciaoflorentina.com/

"BEST NEW BLOG "categ & "Blogger you'd most want Watch on Food Network"

Click here to Vote!

I'm gonna! :D

Poem - An Oasis and Waterfall

its so early in the day,
the sun is shining bright
i watch the clouds pass over us
as i hold on tight
the weather's warm and so are we,
the heat is only churning
since the time had been so long
and for eachother, we were yearning
and to the rhythm of the sound
of the birds who softly call,
nothing feels better than
an oasis and waterfall

in and out goes the sun
in between each cloud
doing just as we are,
but we may be loud
in the ground, the grass is green,
just like others may be
that we have eachother, but
too bad, they can't see
here in our paradise
where our minds are free from all,
nothing is more beautiful than
an oasis and waterfall

from the blueness of the sky
to the sand on the ground,
the water rippling with waves
and thier soothing sound,
silhouetted birds, high flying
on the ground, we are lying
trees blowing
in the breeze
us on
our hands and knees
a love far greater than the number of
each and every grain of sand,
its just us two, me and you,
together, hand in hand
and to the rhythm of the sound
of the birds who softly call,
nothing feels better than
an oasis and waterfall

Me on YouTube!

ok, so lamest video ever.

first WMM didnt accept the camera's file type

then i converted all the files

after that, it said i didnt have the codecs

so i downloaded them

STILL DIDNT WORK

so i converted all the clips into GIF's

then added sound

genius huh?

and my friends seem to like it :)

mission : accomplished

Sick Today :(

i was feeling horrible this morning, and dont feel my best right now either. this is me laying on the couch this morning feeling so out of it. my throat was hurting, my head was hurting, stomach hurting, just everything. i missed the bus because i didnt feel like getting up and my knee was bothering me a little, i just really didnt wanna go to school. my mom dragged me out of the house and got me into the car then on the way to school she stopped at ameristop. i was still crying and could hardly stop, every two seconds i felt like i was gonna puke. she drags me in and buys crackers then tells me to eat them and that it would make me feel better. you dont give a kid with a sore throat something crunchy...it scratched up my throat. then she said to suck on it to make it soft first..but just the taste of a soggy cracker made me throw up in my mouth. just my luck, i only throw up stomach acid and it burns all the cuts in my throat and it felt horrible. i was in alot of pain.

then we get to school and she shoves me out of the car and leaves. i end up walking into school crying and feeling like i'm gonna throw up everywhere. first person i see is Zach, who gives me a big hug and says he hopes i'll feel better. everyone in the hallway [which wasnt many people because i was late] kept asking me if i was alright. (DID I LOOK ALRIGHT? NO!) i said i was fine or that i didnt feel good. when i got to advisory everyone stared at me like i was a freak...another reason i didnt wanna go to school, i get embarrassed easily and dont like alot of personal attention like that. to make matters worse Mrs.Monteith drags me out into the hallway and talks to me.

i cried into first block but still managed to get my PowerPoint on Hippocampus kuda done.

then i cried for a second in the next class and went to the nurse after that.

of course the nurse was at lunch so i went to the nurse when my lunch bell started. i got permission to go home but my mom refused to pick me up so i had to walk. i called my grandma on the way to see if she could get me but she didnt answer, and i was feeling horrible. she was going to get gas i think and she saw me and picked me up. as soon as i got home i went to sleep.

when i woke up, i was happy to see an @reply on twitter from my favorite blogger, (@sweetmangoLOVE) saying that she hoped i would feel better soon. i felt so special :) but i was still sick, haha. i took a picture of myself to see what i looked like...

and got that. i had never actually seen my make up run before so it interested me. haha. i did some work for credit recovery online to catch up a little, but no where near done. i dont like doing schoolwork so i kinda stopped..

to tell you the truth, im actually surprised at how many people asked me if i was ok today, its usually only like 4 but today it was about 11. i'm not native to that, but it was different. hopefully i'll feel better soon. meanwhile, i have yogurt to eat...since its the only thing that doesn't hurt to swallow, haha

Photography - Silhouettes, Windows and Sunrise

this isnt really edited either! i didnt even crop it  just barely increased the saturation. this was a horrible morning but the view of the sunrise from my front yard was gorgeous. between the tears i took this. i love how the tree is like silhouette and you can see the clouds reflecting on the windows

Photography - Seen from the window, but its better in the clear

i was at Frisch's yesterday with my boyfriend and his parents and i couldnt stop looking outside. i just thought the sunset looked so pretty out...of course i wanted to take a picture of it but i didnt say anything cuz i didnt want to be a bother, and cuz his parents were there. After me and Nicko were done eating we went outside and he said he remembered me saying something a couple weeks ago about how i thought the sky was pretty and told me to take a picture, so i did and it turned out really nice :) i didnt even edit it, its only cropped.

Photo Collection - Creature of the night

doesn't this picture kinda remind you of Type O Negative? maybe because i was listening to them as i edited all of these, i took them last night...Enjoy!

my favorite song at the moment,

one of the things about me and music, is that i pretty much tune out the actual music half the time and just listen to the lyrics. usually, if i don't like the lyrics to a song i wont even bother to listen to it. Well, here is my favorite song at the moment- No leaf clover by Metallica. i love the lyrics and the symphony they used with the song...here's a video and the lyrics, maybe you'll like it too, ya never know.

And it feels right this time
On this crash course we're in the big time
Pay no mind to the distant thunder
Beauty fills his head with wonder, boy....

Says it feels right this time
Turn around, found new high lights
Good day to be alive Sir
Good day to be alive, he said.....

Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel
is just a freight train coming your way
Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel
is just the freight train coming your way

Don't it feel right like this
All the pieces fall to his wish
Suck up for that quick reward boy
Suck up for that quick reward they said.....

Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel
is just a freight train coming your way
Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel
is just the freight train coming your way......
It's coming your way
It's coming your way......
Here comes

Yeah, Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel
Is just a freight train coming your way.... Yeah...
Then it comes to be, Yeah...
Then it comes to be, Yeah...
Then it comes to be, Yeah...
Then it comes to be, Yeah...
Then it comes to be, Yeah...
Then it comes to be, Yeah...
Then it comes to be, Yeah...
Then it comes to be, Yeah!

Experimenting with a new style...

lately i got into drawing simple fairies as you've seen in some earlier posts...now today, i ended up making these characters, i guess you'd call them. they're different than my other drawings in a way...it's kind of like my usual faceless people but now they have eyes and noses...i don't know how i came up with this but i kinda like it. and i noticed something about alot of my art...they all have my nose haha, i guess thats how i show myself through my art or somthing. well the first drawing (edited and unedited) is actually the character Karina from my story. Here are my experiments...hope you like them!

Drawing - Waiting

Drawing - Leafbreeze

Lyrics - Forget

what did i do?

how'd i lose you?

the best is all i gave it

i tried so hard to save it

-

but i was in a cage and trapped in

i couldnt figure out what happened

those were your arms i was wrapped in

now im the sh*t hole you just crapped in

-

for 8 long months you heard me screamin (x2)

for 8 long months i saw you leavin(x2)

-

so just go on with your girl,

forget i was here

so just go on with your girl,

forget i was even here

-

you wiped my tears away

you even said sorry

you were my crutch

i loved you so much

-

you stuck a knife in my heart

then i didnt feel so smart

is this some kind of sick art?

i should have known from the start

-

for 8 long months you heard me screamin (x2)

for 8 long months i saw you leavin(x2)
-

so just go on with your girl,

forget i was here

so just go on with your girl,

forget i was even here

-
yea, im singin about you
can you hear me? (you cant)
i'm in the air around you
can you feel me? (you cant)
i'm standing right in front of you
can you see me? (you cant)
-
forget me
completely
delete me
from your memory
kill me
already
can't you see me
running
-
so just go on with your girl,
forget i was here
so just go on with your girl,
forget i was even here (x2)
so just go on with your girl,
forget you saw me bare
so just go on with your girl,
forget that i care
so just go on with your girl,
don't run your fingers through my hair
so just go on with your girl,
what you did wasnt fair
-
what did i do?
how'd i lose you?
the best is all i gave it
i tried so hard to save it...

Drawing - Untitled

Drawing - Cradled in Air

Drawing - Faceless

Drawing - Weeping Fairy

Poem - Looking Back

i look back and remember
i remember a different life
sometimes it saddens me to see all i left behind
sometimes it saddens me to see all who left me behind
i wonder how it would be, maybe if things were different
i don't want things to change anymore
i don't want things to leave
now that everything makes sense


i look back and remember
i remember a different feeling
sometimes it makes me happy that i can be fine here
sometimes it makes me happy that they can be fine with me here
i wonder how it would be, maybe if things were different
i don't want people worry about me
i don't want people to hate
now that everything makes sense

i look back and remember
i remember a different love
it excites me that i found the right person
it excites me that i found true love
i wonder how it would be, maybe if things were different
i don't want to know
i don't want him to leave me
now that everything makes sense

10 Cute Things Guys Do!

i've always wanted to do something like this!

i'm gonna blog up 10 things i think are cute that guys do and/or can do.

Enjoy!

Thing #1 : Enthusiasm!

nothing's cuter than a guy who's excited!  it's nice to know that he likes you just as much as you like him and is enthusiastic about it. when a guy show's his enthusiasm, you can tell he's happy, and knowing that we're making them will make us happy too! it's a win-win situation. GUYS, ITS OK TO SHOW YOUR ENTHUSIASM! it wont make you "less of a man" or anything, i promise :) my boy doesnt mind telling me he's happy with me and i think thats awesome, (just like everything else about him!)

Thing #2 : Phone Calls!

with all the texting in this day & age, its nice to get a phone call every once in a while...especially from a guy you like! i mean phones have numbers and if you press that green button, you can call them! WOW, WHO KNEW? sometimes its easier to have a conversation if you can actually hear the person you're talking to. of course, the conversation will most likely be full of giggles, but on the phone he can't see you blush, so thats an up! (and guys, she can't see you blush either!) the other day, my lovely boyfriend called me and said he missed my voice, it was adorable :)

Thing #3 : The "Good Morning" Text!

i'm sure alot of guys probably do this, but why is it cute? cuz it makes us feel like we're the first thing you thought about when you woke up! (especially if you wake up before we do) it also makes us think you care if we're having a good morning, caring is cute! other ways that count as good morning could be "how are you" or "how did you sleep" in the morning, those are also nice :)

Thing #4 : Meeting Half-Way!

if you're going to walk somewhere and he meets you halfway, thats cute! and when it comes to "meeting half way" i mean that in more than one way. It could mean that you're going somewhere and he meets you half way there OR it could mean that he's coming to you so you can walk together to wherever you're going. either way, its cute that he doesn't want you to walk alone :) me and nicko meet half-way alot, it makes me feel special, haha

Thing #5 : When Guys Just Be...Guys!

ok, this might sound wierd to some, but i love when guys are just guys! i think its cute when they eat messy, yell random obsceneties, perverted jokes and even burp & fart! as gross as you think it may be, i just love it! it makes you feel like they're comfortable around you which is always a good thing...and i think its funny, cuz i'm wierd :P

Thing #6 : Guy Giggles!

girls giggle, but i found out guys do too! and its CUTE! i was on the phone with my boyfriend one night and we were both giggling! it was the cutest thing ever! that way i knew he was as excited and happy as i was.

Thing #7: When They Wanna Take Pictures With You!

who wouldn't want pictures with the guy they like? of course the girl wants pictures with him, but its cuter when he wants pictures with you! that way you know he wants to remember you and maybe even show you off! definately cute :) as everyone knows, me and my boyfriend have alot of pictures together, i think its adorable! (and we're cute together ;D )

Thing #8 : PDA!

public displays of affection, we all know what that is :) its another one of those things that shows he's comfortable around you but it also says he definately likes you and isn't embarrassed by you! (unless he's shy, which is totally different) some other things i would consider PDA are him introducing you to his friends and parents and not minding you being around them, talking nicely about you to people and letting everyone know they're with you. i think thats cute! My boyfriend even kisses me in public and doesnt seem to mind at all and i love it :)

Thing #9 : When They Look a Mess!

i think its just sooooooooo cute when my boyfriend is a mess (when he thinks he is, anyway) i like when he's just wearing whatever he throws on and he's got his hair back and is all sweaty and stuff. I don't know why but its a total turn on! he thinks he "looks like crap," i think its hot ;]

Thing #10 : Songs & Poems!

its so cute when they write poems or songs for the girl they like. its one of the cutest things to me, maybe cuz i'm an artsy type of girl. its so cool when they can show thier feelings through any form of art and even cuter when they show it to you! it can make a girl feel really special and a sweet way to let them know they're being thought about. before we went out, my boyfriend wrote me a poem and it definately changed my mind about not wanting a boyfriend (and now i'm happier than ever that i'm with him!)

while i was writing this, my boyfriend actually asked me how it was coming along...another cute thing (lol) he just oozes adorableness! XD well that was 10 (well, techinically 11, haha)things i think are cute...i might do another post kinda like this sometime, it was fun! lol

First Day of School...

yep, that was me this morning.

poor little ol' berry was scared to go to school

i didn't wanna meet new teachers or new people and i missed summer already. i was worried, once again, that i'd have a bad year...again...as usual. FINALLY i'm in my Junior year

but i still feel like its my first year of highschool. i still feel like i just came from NCH and just moved here, but at the same time i don't...its so odd and confusing.

actually, today wasn't bad at all. i knew people in all of my classes and i had people to sit with at lunch and i even had lunch money for once. everyone said hi to me and they were happy to see me. a few of my friends (specifically chloe and kevin) nearly killed me with hugs, lol. Kevin squeezed the life out of me then flipped me over and carried me down the hallway, then when i finally got outside chloe attacked me "IT'S MY BERRY!!!!!" and also squeezed the life out of me. nothing extremely exciting or important happened, but so far its been a pretty good first day. hopefully the rest of the year is good too, haha

well, turns out because of my dumbness and disorganization, i'm in credit recovery ALL year. i don't enjoy the thought of that...but at least we have B lunch and my friends Zakk and Travis are in there so i'm not alone. I'm taking a class on Animal Care and i'm taking Psychology and Sociology @_@ it sounds really hard but i'm looking foreward to those classes. hopefully psychology can help me understand myself and other people better and maybe help me not be as shy. In animal care...there's alot of animals lol i sit in front of a tank of turtles. (I LOVE TURTLES) and i have english 3. those are my classes for 1st semester and i think i might actually do good! i'm hoping to say hi to Ms.Ruder tommorrow morning, my old biology teacher from last year, she might have been one of the coolest teachers i've ever had and she actually believed in me. i started off the school year with an F and ended with an A because of her, so i wanna thank her.

i noticed alot of people were absent and alot of my friends graduated...i'm sad about that, it means less hugs!

*its so tragic!*

well wish me luck that the next days will be as good as the first!

Watching Summer Drift With The Clouds (taken yesterday, my last day of summer)

"Our Future"

just the thought makes me so excited!

the other night i was hanging out with my boyfriend. we were waiting for his friend to get back from somewhere so we were sitting alone talking. After a little while we ended up on the subject of our future. i had never really talked to anyone about a future we would have, probably because i never thought i would truly have a future with anyone. he just brought it out there and asked me if i thought we had a future together. of course i do, i love him with all my heart. he said "let's talk about that" and it was really touching to me the way he said that and he smiled. he actually wanted to talk about it with me. he asked me where i would want to live and that it could be anywhere because we would be married, like starting a new life. i mentioned new york, i love it there. it turns out his favorite view is the city skyline, just like mine! we talked about how many kids we'd have and thier names...we talked about the size we'd want our house would be and stuff... to tell you the truth, i never really wanted to get married and i hate babies and kids and never wanted one...but now,

i want to get married,

i want to have children,

i want to move away and live with happily with the one i love,

i want to spend the rest of my life with someone; him.

—~———~———————~———————~———~—

my plan for life was to go to become an artist,

move into a small apartment,

buy a cat and live alone

by myself in the middle of nowhere,

but now i've got something better :)

i don't have to be alone

now all i do is think about him

and patiently wait for us to grow up
♥

so we can begin

our future

♥

Photography - Stumped

Photography - Point of Focus

Photography - Rainbow Sea

Poem - It Was The Middle Of The Night

she walked to him steadily, her feet tapped on the pavement softly like rain
it was the middle of the night
she gazed up at him and glimpsed the moon shining bright
and the blanketed clouds reflecting in his darling eyes
not a word was spoken as he pulled her closer, thier bodies dampened by rain
thier warmth exchanged as he wrapped his arms around her,
an embrace too sweet for words
he could feel her eyelashes fluttering against his neck and her breath by his shoulder
she held him tighter and she felt so safe, nothing could hurt her when she's with him
she tilted up her head and kissed him
the breeze carried his hair for only a second
and he told her he loved her
she told him she loved him as well
she's all he ever wanted
he's all she's ever dreamed of
two imperfect people
in one perfect love
they walked together, thier feet tapped on the pavement softly like rain
it was the middle of the nigh