cant wait till saturday :3

 i cant wait till saturday

i got a cute date on that day 

 i am very excited 

my scotty is planning a whole day for us :)

from morning to night...

and he's gonna cook me whatever i want 

isn't that sexy?!  my boy can cook!!

 i think its super sexy >;3 hehehe ~ 

i chose eggs, bacon and pancakes for breakfast,

went oldschool and chose crustless pb&j with peanut butter celery for lunch

and he's gonna surprise me for dinner :)

i'm so excited!! he is so  lately  i love love love it 

 you're the best 

this is my shoe :) our nicknames, our anniversarry and our song 

cute huh?? in purple gel pen :) hehe

i love many things in life now :) everything is going the right way

and i super love it!!!!

only thing missing is that rabbito isnt back from camp yet!

when she comes back every thing will really be super great again :)

i miss my beefee 

she needs to come home ^_^

[[xo.aeribaby]]

deja vu, changing the future, a promise and a new banner ~~

o h a y o g o z a i m a s u ~

friday was great~ it was a beautiful day~~

although the weather outside wasn't too good, it was beautiful

on friday i went over to nicko's (told him the rain wouldnt stop me ;D)

and we hung out seriously almost the whole day

i didn't leave until almost midnight  ♥

we hung out, played games, talked, had cookies, pizza, snuggles and lots of kisses and i got a really great massage that totally caught me by surprise 

it was very thoughtful  i dont know how he knew my body was hurting but he got to every single spot and i felt like i was floating on air afterwards 

and also...i got to do something i had always wanted to do

~  i finally got to dance in the rain  ~

it was the cutest thing too :)

because we were walking around in the house and he had on shoes and i didnt and he looked at me and smiled, then sweeped me up and carried me outside and danced with me 

i was smiling and blushing so hard!!!! it was so sweet ahh!!!!!!!!

 you have no idea how happy i was 

last night me and scotty were talking about psychics and dejavu

because we were watching (well, i was listening) to a M13 vlog

there was this lady that predicted the next 3000 years or something

and she was already right on a few things like 9/11 and something else i don't much remember, and she predicted that this year WW3 would start and the 2 koreas have been dropping bombs on eachother...then in 2 years, or 1 year now that half of the world will have skin cancer after all of the radiation from nuclear warfare

scary stuff  . . . 

also it said in the video that deja vu is because people briefly see the future in thier dreams and that's why they  think it already happened or it seems familiar already

and i have deja vu all the time...

there is an upside and a downside to that though...because i have alot of very realistic bad dreams

and there are alot of those i would really hate to come true 

and i've had a lot of reoccurring bad dreams, which are usually the ones that come true

there's a dream i've been having maybe once a month now, that i used to have every 2 weeks or so back in january 2010 where me and nick are having our wedding and we look about 20, his hair was still long too. and the dream usually would start out with me in the powder room doing finishing touches on my makeup and all of my aunts were in the room with me along with a few other girls, i knew 3 of them but i didn't know one of them. maybe i'll be making a friend in the near future and she'll be my bridesmaid. 2 of them were my best friends from 4th grade that we promised eachother we'd be eachother's bridesmaids, so i guess i ended up actually asking them to.  1 of them was my friend kelsey, but i started having the dream before i even knew her. i was talking to her before she went out and my aunts went to go sit down and i remember having this huge rush of energy because i was so happy about my big day. josh kimmey was our photographer, he was a good friend of mine before he graduated and got a last shot of me smiling before he scurried out into the sanctuary.  my dress was white and pink and lavender. it was sleeveless with a corset style top and a heart shaped necklane. there were ribbons lacing through it and they faded from a rose pink to lavender, really really pale colors. it draped to the back and the skirt faded from lavender all the way back to the pink with a triangle left of write and the train was sheer. i had long white satin gloves. my hair was long and black and i had soft makeup with winged eyeliner, i noticed i had still never plucked my brows. i finally got out to the sanctuary and took a big gulp then started to walk to the wedding march. i could see nick looking at me from far away and i smiled, just feeling myself glowing and feeling beautiful. then i get up to the podium and me and nick began reading our vows. we both had stapled papers that we read to eachother, i only remember some parts of the vows that we both said. i was looking in his eyes and we put our rings on eachother, then his ex runs in crying...i've seen her run in 2 different ways, usually in the dreams she is wearing normal street clothes but sometimes she is wearing a white dress...she runs in crying and telling us to stop and is screaming and telling nick she loves him and that they should be together. my family is looking back and forth to eachother and his family had really wide eyes, we were both speechless, she acted like i wasnt even there...she was yelling and begging to him to take her instead and trying to remind him of thier memories together and she wouldnt stop screaming. i got frantic as we were still holding hands...she had dropped to her knees on the ground with makeup down her face and as both of our jaws drop he slowly started letting go of my hands and i started to tear up thinking "this is not happening at my wedding" everyone was just staring...no one knew what to do, what do you do when that happens? we just stood there looking at her and she just kept saying all of these things to him, i knew about them, but i didn't want them to be revisited because i was over it, or i wouldnt have been so shocked. she kept saying "she stole you from me! she stole this from me! this could have been us nicki, we were real! we were real!" and when she started saying that i just started crying, i walked back down the aisle and went back to the powder room and i locked it and that's how the dream ended...i don't know how it really ends 

there was a dream i had and i've had it a few times where i'm in a place i don't recognize, and i'm older and by myself...nothin with me, not even a purse, sitting on a bench in a city. i had on my chucks and dark jeans with my armystyle green coat on and a pack of cigarrettes in my pocket. no cell phone and maybe 5 dollars in change. i had on no makeup and dark around my eyes...curly tangly hair. i think i was homeless... i look older then too.

those among many others...that i just hope i never see in real life

i told him about the bad dreams and he knows that its not all of them, but he said

"lets change the future"

i kinda didnt think that was possible, but it is

and it's the quote under my new banner (click to enlarge)

that means we will always be together...which makes me happier than anything

it seems like things have gotten more serious really quickly

maybe because of the incident on thursday...although it was scary for both of us, it seemed to be a serious eye-opener for him...

i had never seen him cry before...and i mean cry. not wimpering "i'm so sad blah blah wahh" but an "i'm scared" pleading  "i'll never hurt you again" actual cry

he has been a little different since then, a little more serious and a little more thoughtful

he was serious enough that he cleaned out the drawer next to his bed...it had alot of things from his past relationship in there...he threw all of it away..

i'm not gonna lie, i was surprised.

last night we talked about erasing our pasts. because to eachother, we're the only thing that ever felt real.

and it makes me cry even to type that it makes me that happy 

not only because we'll be erasing our pasts and healing our hearts,

but to know the feeling that the only thing that is perfect and real to you is real to the other person too...its such a great feeling to know he feels the same way 

~ x o . a e r i b a b y 

intense.

sorry i havent blogged these past couple of days. 2 nights ago, was having a hard time, kind of a rough night. and yesterday was pretty good but somehing happened and i don't think i should say it. but i will be indirect.

i'll say that it started out fun, then got serious.

i'll say that real love always comes through.

i'll say it could have torn us apart, but it really brought us closer.

i'll say that i could be scared, but i'm not.

i'll say that no matter what, love never fails.

i'll say that you will always be my knight in shining armour.

i'll say that nothing can sway my thoughts of you.

i'll say that i will always be here for you no matter what happens

i'll say that i understand you, and nothing is wrong with you in my eyes.

i'll say that i never want to see you so hurt ever again.

i'll say that even if you do cry again, i'll be there to wipe your tears away.

i'll say that i will love you forever.

i'll say you're my best friend.

i'll say i'm sorry i fell asleep so early last night.

i'll say thank you to your parents for taking me home.

i'll say i cant wait to see you today.

i'll say that everything is okay, because it is.

and i'll say that i believe you when you promised me last night.

  i love you

i'll blog tomaro.

be back later.

x o , a e r i b a b y ♥

good mourning

 i spelled it that way for a reason.

last night was very difficult

i did something i had never really done...

and i didn't like it.

me and nicko ended up not hanging out...

i had a wierd feeling it would happen :/

after he called later that night we were talking about stuff and got onto the subject of his ex...and how he didn't understand why i cant handle them talking or seeing eachother...which just really sucked that not only he still didnt get it ater all that happened but that i had to explain it again..

and he knew that there was alot of things that i never said and told me to just say them...and i really didn't want to...but i did..

it felt horrible to say all of those things to him

i'm so used to holding in things in, because i dont want to say them
just not tell, keep it in - cry later
then no one will know and everything will be better
but i said it...almost everything i ever wanted to say...
i guess because like i said if you don't cry sometimes you might never be able to smile again...
there was alot of tears and still some unsead words
when i get rowed up i tend to lose myself and i cant get everything out because so many things are going through my head at once that i just cant.
he actual told me to point out all of his flaws...i refused
but he kept asking me and asking me and i didn't want to
and then i did...
i completely went back on every promise i made myself when i did that.
nick is one of those people that don't get hurt...
nothing you can say can hurt his feelings...
if i really thought it would actually hurt him, i wouldnt have done it at all.
i only expected 1 of two reactions:
i either thought he would yell at me or he would just hang up
but instead he felt bad...
and i was already torn over what i did and then when it actually hurt him i felt just so many times worse about it i just wanted to tell him over and over how sorry i am for it.
he said alot of things jumped out at him that he didnt notice before...
i asked him "such as what" and he said there was too much...
i asked him also if there is anything that he would do differently now that he knows some of the thigns he does and he said "yes" and that he'd figure it out...
he was so hurt that he didn't even know how to feel
i've never heard him be so confused...

i say sometimes...when i get mad because of how mean he is sometimes...
that i wish i could just point out every single thing thats wrong with him just like he did to me.
so then he would know how i felt
and i why i dont talk about things
and that it hurts and how bad
what it feels like for someone to really break you down...
but i didn't actually want to do that
i just wanted him to know what it felt like but i didn't want to be the one to show him...
in my mind, you guys know that i go by the golden rule
and that i don't like revenge
but i just got it...and it's not sweet at all...it's a horrible feeling
the worst feeling...
i just made the only person i truely love in the whole world, feel like he was the worst person ever..
i feel ashamed of myself, i'm mad at myself, upset with myself and really regret saying all of that stuff
and he said "you should be proud"
how could i be proud?!
"you said you always wish you could hurt me...and you finally did it. no one can hurt me but you...you should be proud of yourself"
i'm not proud baby...i'm sorry...
i've said it so many times and i realy mean it
i love you
i didn't want to hurt you

we almost broke up because of this
i scared him :( i feel so bad
i also found out what happened finally...on november 22 2009...that's the day he cheated on me
even though it is nearly a year and a half late, i'm glad i finally know what happened
i wont lie, when he told me...i bursted into tears
i couldnt not cry
because i knew it happened, and the first time i saw her it really hit me that it happened
and now that i actually know what happened, it actually happened...
like i cant be in denial anymore because i know
and yea, it's killer
i hate it but it happened
i have to forgive him and i did a long time ago
but it's really hard you know.
we forgave eachother...we had to
and i had to tell him that he's not all bad
and it took a while to make him feel even a little bit better
but i had to show him he's worth it
and that he means everything to me
now he knows how i feel and i'm sorry he had to feel that way...maybe something good will come from it and he'll understand more things better, or maybe he wont do some things because now he knows how bad they hurt

yesterday...he actually quoted the Bible
he couldnt remember what he knew the quote from, but i did. it just took me a while because i hadnt read it in a while.

1 Corithians 13:4

“Love is always patient and kind; it is never jealous, love is never boastful or conceited; it is never rude or selfish; it does not take offense, and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people’s sins but delights in the truth; it is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes. Love does not come to an end.”

that's God's definition of love...true love

like the love we had before so many things happened

we both agreed how much we miss how perfect we were

and that want to and will be that way again

i've always thought of love that way and i tried to show him all of those things in the verse

but now i'm jealous and slightly resentful, but it's not really against him more than it is against someone else

i always hope...try hard to trust...always hope and get through everything

this promise will be kept always

[[xo,aeribaby]]

:| . . .

hoping. . .                          
you promised but i think you forgot . .

happy happy happy! +gift from rabbito!

you probably cant tell by the picture, but i am ecsatic

this is the happyest i've been in a long time ~

its a better than perfect bounce back from this weekend
 i love my scottybaby

going to see him today  so happy  

and remember how i said every monday?  he agreed!!

so, i get to see my every monday now  its perfect

he said "monday, wednesday and friday...plus saturday and sunday" xD

 that really makes me smile :) i love him so much

i cant describe how happy i am now :)

 i want things to stay like this
----------------------------------

i finally got my gift in the mail from rabbito chan!

click to enlarge :)

super sweet gift! i got a kawaii card, a letter, 2 smaller cards

2 okitoki phone charms and food shaped things, might be erasers xD i love them all!

if you click the image you'll be able to read all the text :)

she needs to get back from camp! i miss her dearly :(

i'm in a great mood :) i love my life right now!

♥[[xo, aeribaby]]♥

YesStyle wishlist :)

great web site :) i got it from a facebook friend a week or 2 ago

but, i deactivated my facebook :( sooooorrrrrrrryyyyyy

if anyone needs me i'm always on here :) msn (+me! yrrebsa@live.com ) and skype! search me there as Aeri Quinones or kitty.quinones on there.

i love this site!!! so many kawaii things ♥

this is my current wishlist from there :) w/links!

holly shoes <3

harem pants <3 LOVEEE!!!

skinny pants :)

i like the pink and light blue ones ~

giraffe shirt ^____^

kawaii~~ bear hoodie!! ~

racerback tank dress :)

^all the colors :) i want purple, green pink and black xD

too much, i know xD thats why its a wishlist!

off shoulder ribbed top~ SUPER LOVEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

cost 9.60 :3 cheapest on the list~~

--------------------now---------------------

MY ABSOLUTE WANT NEED

HVBAO slip ons. MOST KAWAII SHOES EVER

i would color the kids with washable markers to make it look like me and nicko :)

probably the main reason i want them. 28.80$ ...i love them...