ｙｅｓｔｅｒｄａｙ ＝ ＜３

ｈｅｌｌｏ　ｍｙ　ｌｏｖｅｓ　～　！ i am in a very good mood :D yesterday i got to hang out with the one and only nicko! it was so much fun :D first great surprise what that when i was walking to his house he skated up to me when i was almost there, which made me sooo happy!! cuz i miss when he used to meet me back when we first started dating. it was sweet <3 i helped him with his homework and he got it done :) then we went outside and i got my board back :) his friend Larry was bothering me to ollie xD they say i'm the only girl they know that can actually skate (as in skateboard) so everytime i'm around he bugs me about it lol. i actual do get a little prideful about it when i think about it. xD his girlfriend was getting jealous though, which made me mad, because she can see us and he's not doing anything -_- then when i ollied she was like "i cant do that" *whine whine whine* ... *jealous jealous*... i just wanted to turn around and be like "i can teach you :D" xD that would have been pretty rude, but if she was gonna be snarky i should have been just as retarded back to her, but i decided not to, since i dont thinnk she knows i heard her say that. but i think larry noticed because he looked at me funny when i turned around for a second. oh well i dont give f@ck xD
afterwards we went to this mexican restaurant called La Pinata and it was amazing! it was such a sweet environment, all the chairs and stuff were handpainted and it really showed off the mexican culture in a nice way without overdoing it. i got this for dinner:

cheesey camaron

it was great! oh my gosh. cheese sauce on jumbo shrimp with mexican rice. then at the end, you can mix up the cheese with the rice and it is soooo amazing. i ate some of the leftovers for breakfast and it was great :) nicko got popcorn chicken. i wish we had gone by ourselves so i could have gotten a better picture xD i'm quite sure his parents would have given me looks if they saw i was doing a photoshoot with my dinner... i don't think nick minds though ^^ since he actually enjoys my blog :P

me and him are supposed to hang out today, hopefully to the mall!! like old times!! :D i hope something happens :) bye everyone! will end in yesterday's pointless vlog:

if you still had guages, we'd so be wearing these ♥

    they are too cute!   

i miss this day ♥

a million different songs come to mind when i think of that summer. i miss it <3 i still dream about it sometimes and i always write about it. because it was the best summer i ever had :)

"we are so young, our lives had just begun, but already we are considering, escape from, this world" -HIM

"i wanna fall in love, with you. this world is only gonna break your heart" -HIM

 "your voice was the soundtrack of my summer, i dont wanna ever love another, you'll always be my thunder" -boyslikegirls

"i feel like a hero, and your my heroine" - boyslikegirls

"so kiss me like you did, my heart stopped beating, such a softer sin" -the used

"i'm melting in your eyes, i lost my place, could stay a while...and i'm melting in your eyes, like my first time, that i caught fire...just stay with me lay with me now" <3

some of our beautiful memories <3

i wish i could sleep aaaaaall day.

i'm sorry i forgot to blog about my desk >.< i took some pics of it but i forgot my memory card at home :( i know, i am early to school...but it is because i ride the bus. school starts at 7:40AM but i get here at 6:50AM Dx blehh! i hate it lol everyone else is waking up at the time i am already on the bus >.<+ ughh.. 

a n y w a y z , 

NICKO BABY! good luck on your tests! i know you think today is going to be horrible and that you're going to have a bad day, but i'll make up for it baby and i'll do my best to cheer you up! i love you more than anything hunnybunny! you're adorable and sweet just please start trying harder! there's not too much time left for school.. even though i know you don't want to, you should use the time you have after school since you don't go home yet and try to do some extra credit. i' sorry i kinda scolded you this morning :( you have  2  parents i know you dont want another...i try not to bother you but i do want you to pass, i try to leave you alone about it though... just try really hard to do good :( i dont wanna see any mean upset posts today! try to think about happy things and blog about those, don't make the day any more bad than it is already. you're always here for me, i'm here for you too remember :) you're my best friend :) <3


it is early release day tomaro and i forgot >.< now i gotta find a ride home and get my key >.< unless the bus is coming...then maybe i can get myself a coffee or something and chill and watch some anime when i get home. and surprisingly maybe clean some more o_o i have been in a cleaning mood ever since nicko got me my desk. it just makes me wanna make my room look cute ^_^


and me and nick are gonna get motorcycles :3  i am super excited about that!! he wants a streetbike, a ninja 6r i think? and i want a oldschool bike :) i'm more into the classics. here some that i like

yamaha v star 950

yamaha RZ 250 (1980 standard)

1960 harley-davidson panhead <333

smexy xD its so shiny!!

1969 Harley-Davidson XI <33333333

i love choppers ahh! <33

i love oldschool bikes. i just like the way they're made and sound. it's like there's nothing cooler to me than a classic bike. i mean you have to admit they look cool?! i like bikes with 1 headlight and dual exhaust also. and i cant help it for some reason, but i dont like electric spedometers on bikes. i dont know why. i think they're so cool in cars, but so wierd in bikes o_o idk. electric radio would be cool though ^^ i cant wait to be riding around with my boy :) it'll be so much fun ^^ not sure about letting our kids ride though...i wanna car for that (;

i think that is all for now,

xxaerixx

Poem - Everything Will Be Alright

a poem dedicated to all of the old friends that hurt me and think they need me back in thier life. you're all better off without me. this is for all of you. sort of a nice way of saying forget about me.


No matter what you think
No matter what you write
No matter how you see it,
Everything's gonna be alright.

You know you're not hated
You know you're still just young
You know right now you're jaded
that doesnt mean your days are done.

No matter how you hate it
No matter how hard you fight
No matter where you go,
Everything's gonna be alright.

You know you're not a bad person
You also know that you're not grown
You know i still understand you,
and i know you want that known.

No matter what you've loved and lost
No matter if you cant stand the sight
No matter if we're friends or not,
Everything's gonna be alright.

You know we can't be friends,
You know you'll have a better one than me.
You know i would still be happy for you,
so you should still be happy for me.

No matter what you've loved and lost

No matter if you cant stand the sight

No matter if we're friends or not,

Everything's gonna be alright.

Don't worry, it'll be alright.

blah blah blah

おはようございます~! 退屈だ~~ nothing much to do today, just school...boringggg >.< i already wanna go home. and i am doing homework in my free bell at the moment because i lost my notebook when i was cleaning my room last night >.< wanna know why i cleaned it? nicko got me a new desk! it is my first gift from my future grandma-in-law :) it's a pretty wooden desk and fits perfect in my room~~ it has  drawers and i already sorted them. now the rest of my room is getting cleaner...new furniture is always motivation :) but hopefully i will have a job soon so i can move out...i am annoyed with my family >.< maybe if i like my room more then i wont be so hasty. i am still upset about all of my artwork but im just gonna ignore it and act like i never liked art in the first place. i'm scared that if i keep liking art that it will only let me down in the end. and i am tired of being let down..
i miss nicko :( he was over for a little bit yesterday to bring in my desk from the truck to my room. i thought he would be proud that i was cleaning my room but he said it still looked a mess >.< i havent seen my floor in like 2 years what do you mean! :( i think it looks better...its not like i'm done yet xD i'm trying to start organizing and stuff or whatever...
all i can think about right now is how bad i have to pee :( i had a blog topic a minute ago but i have the sudden urge to go to the bathroom >.< and the teacher wont let anyone go D: wahhh save me! someone fly me to thier house and let me use thier potty :[ i dont wanna wait 20 minutes till next block ahh D:

and does anyone know how to lose fat on your arms without getting too much muscle? my arms are getting a little thicker at the top and it is starting to bug me D: even though i dont think anyone has noticed but me (now everyones gonna be looking -_-) i dont care about my legs or my butt or tummy , those are fine...i just want my arms to be thin. i always thought skinny arms were prettyer. if you have any advice just let me know ^^

LaTiN FeSTiVaL ~

yesterday wasnt really the best day...but i tried to have fun with it anyway. i went to the Latin Festival downtown and it was alot of fun :) i love being there. The best parts were the music and the food. you all know that i L-O-V-E food...! The first thing there that was cool was the music. right when we got there a band started to play called Tropicoso, and i really liked therm. i'd heard them before at a music festival but i wasnt at the front and couldnt hear so well. it was fun, i didn't dance though. i don't dance with anyone but nick unless they are my dad's family. There was also a guy walking around singing and playing guitar, i call him the mariachi man :) i got a picture with him. he had a really nice voice and always looked so happy!. everybody was taking his picture lol, he was really friendly as well. he was probably the most authentic part of the entire festival.

as you see also got shaved ice :) it was amazing too! they had my favorite flavor, pina colada! and yes i know, it is a alcoholic drink, my mom always let me have the virgin kind at restaurants after i sipped some off of hers once when i was little. my mom got one too but she didnt like it, so she gave it to tehya. i have a 14 year old sister in case you guys didnt know. i have some new readers, i'm at 60 followers now :) so hi you guys :D be sure to check out my about me, tag and leave comments and i'll reply :)

the shaved ice was super yummy. i want it again >.< but one of the things i first thought of getting was a churro. one of my favorite snacks as a kid. its deep fried dough drenched in sugar and filled with cream, caramel, or chocolat. mmm <3 we got a whole bag to take home!! 2 are filled with caramel for me and

after churros i couldnt even eat all of mine. xD for some reason i cannot eat a whole one anymore. when i was a child i could eat as many as i wanted and never get sick. i always got the chocolate kind when they used to have them at Taco Bell. I put away my churro and we looked at some standing shoppes. at one stand they sold these gorgeous wooden flutes. i had to have one! 3$ and it sounds so soothing to play :) we also bought alot of little pins for my family for when we go up to wisconsin this month for Manuel's wedding. i got a pin with a llama on it :) if you ddidn't know, i have a love for Llamas, Alpacas, Goats, Giraffes, Sheep and Buffalo. I think they are just adorable creatures :) i'll show you the Llama pin when i wear it.. after the shoppes we got more delicious food. i had one of my favorite things ever. Tostada :) This tostada is the best kind to get. I am a seafood lover, i am not much into livestock or poultry meats. 

mmm, it was so great! 2 slices of lime, toasted corn tortilla, shrimp, octopus and tilapia with pico de gallo......and my favorite, avocado <33 yummy! i found out that in some other countries, they actually use avocado in cold drinks. how do you all eat them? i slice them with salt or eat it on toast. it is great on italian toast :) it's just really hard to find avocado here. they are expensive sometimes..

my sister got a balloon and din't wanna hold it , so i tied into my hair xD i look like a child in that pic. it looks like i have no boobs! D: which is odd, because i have a relatively large chest for my size ..xD

mami got herself a little gift too, she bought a shaker. when you shake it, it sounds kinda like water. it's really really coo; :) my sis got a little necklace with a moon on the chain. after we walked around a little bit more, mami got herself another present...margarita cocktail in a can ...it has tequila in it a.k.a. not for me lol i am not of age to drink...but they had to open them and i had to hold one of the cans when we were going back to the car. i got really funny looks because i look so young, but in reality i am only 2 and a half years away from being at drinking age xD i hate looking so young!

this is the only time i ever saw it in a can, usually when i hold a can i think it is soda and i accidentally sipped some >.< it tasted like a tangier sprite at first but the alcohol hit me a second later and i was like BLEHHH!!! no more of that for me! i forgot i wasnt holding a soda >.< uggh bleh bleh bleh 

i do not drink if you could not tell lol i did before but it was a long time ago...so long ago that tequila and me no longer get along obviously lol yuck >.< my mom offered me a can and i said NOOO! when i was 13 she said i can drink when i am with her or my dad when i am 16. i guess i grew out of alcohol xD i think it is a good thing though :) i don't need it ^_^

last but not least, at the very end before we went to the car, we watched the folk dancers from panama. very simple dances, but no matter what age they are, they are always moving thier hips. lol you go girls! as they say in spanish, si se puede! ;D  it was much fun. i am sort of happy that i went...

after we left, we went to check out planet dance. i really like thier studio alot. the floor is green! ee!! i cant wait to dance thier :) the teacher and her husband were so friendly to me! and they have performance oppourtunities...yes yes yes! it is perfect :) i HAVE to go there...!

here's some pictures from the car to conclude my post. enjoy xD

i really like my hair!

xx.aeri.xx

your voice was the soundtrack of my summer.

*(four pictures in this post)*

i've been listening to BoysLikeGirls. i always likedloved that band, it used to be one of my favorites when i was younger, 7th and 8th grade. i listen to them when i feel really sad because they have such cute lyrics and most of thier songs are upbeat, and upbeat songs make me feel better sometimes...

i looked cute-ish yesterday i guess, my stripe cami, jean shorts and of course my converse, +an old heart headband i came across while cleaning my room. of course these pics are from yesterday, today my eyes are very swollen from sobbing last night from the grief of my dead art career. i think i might be done with art.  i'll just go to law school so i can take out all my anger by getting payed to argue with people.

this really isnt that edited. i softened a little added rose, darken my hair and vignette...my hair is turning brown at the ends -.- i need to re-dye it, i will in about a week, more blond again and a blue-black. then this summer maybe go back to green or purple.. dont know...

lyrics are from a song, one of my favorites from BoysLikeGirls

Thunder

other favorites:

Heels Over Head

The Great Escape

Hero/Heroine

my alltime favorite :)
i'm hungry..

read this story! it's so touching~~

it's on konayachi's blog today
i read it and started tearing up T-T
i wish i had a brother like that!
it's super sweet, you have to read it!
click here!!

devastation.

i said how my basement was flooding and it ruined everything. guess what else was down there...my entire art portfolio...it's all ruined. each and every piece. that portfolio was for college, to get me in. now, i have nothing. and no one gives a shit about it but me. no one understands...no one really cares about me, i'm crying my eyes out looking at all of my mold-soaked papers and paintings, weeping and sobbing uncontrollably, and who was there to hold me? nobody. who was there to talk to me? nobody. no one was even outside. the loneliness just killed me more. and nick doesnt want me to go to art school anyway so i guess my portfolio being completely destroyed is a good thing.

being an artist has been my dream literally since i was 4 years old. my mom threw it all away. and she doesnt care. instead, she says hurry up and get a job and get out and threatens to hit me, because i'm upset that she ruined my future.. fuck anyone who doesnt care. i give up

just like everyone's expected since i was 13, i'm not gonna do anything with my life. i was raised poor and i'll die poor. life's all about death anyways right? what's the fucking point? i'm just at the end of my rope.. the next thing that upsets me is going to end me. i'm really getting worked up and i never release all of my feelings so they blow out on once. and i dont release them because i cant. fuck highschool and fuck college i just wanna get a job and leave. and if i do graduate which i probably wont i'll have to take a fucking year off to do a bunch of shit artwork becase i'll have no fucking inspiration from this shit happening. i'll do a painting series called "death" with paintings of my mom dying in different ways and reminders of how much i hate her and each thing that made me feel that way. i really do hate my life right now...sounds cliche, but i really do.

its my senior year,

i missed my homecoming. my prom. no art classes. no real friends. no job. no money. no brain. no hope. no football games, basketball games, baseball games, no talent show, no play...bad birthday. bad birthday weekend...nothing going my way...no nothing.

i just have to sit here and wait for good things to happen,

because i cant make them happen.

i have no more patience, i'm fucking sick of waiting

i'm sick of being walked on and put down

i'm sick of being told what the fuck to do

so fuck it

someone fucking hire me already

i want to get the fuck out of here

i really almost ran away today, back to the falls where i always ran away. my spot under the rock is still there, and i wanna go back and sleep there...

but most of all, i missed my cat.. that's what i needed the most..i really did say "little scotty" while i was crying..but he's dead..it just made everything worse..i don't wanna wake up after tonight..i'm so done with my life, i really am

all this under 3$ each?? i love it!!!

i love all of this stuff! alltogether the total cost is only 15$ to buy it all! i really want it :) im seriously thinking of buying some of it...that first dress and the shirt from the 3rd pic forsher!! i'm gonna be browsing this all day xD got the link from Ani from epued.blogspot.com's sidebar. take a look!!!