Poem - Let Me Sleep

every night, i love the way,
before i go to sleep
he keeps me safe and soothes my soul
to make sure i do not weep

i talk to my love, then i lay to rest
no fears, hates, or frustration
but do you know the pain of going to sleep so happy
and then waking up in devastation

nightmare come and nightmare go,
the nightmares are a coma
nightmares of him coming home to me
stenched with your aroma

walking in to our own room
married, are we not?
i dont wish to see you touching him,
can't you try better to not get caught?

now you're a waitress, and i'm in the restroom
i hear a kiss, but from who to whom?
no resistance, is all i heard.. and it puts me in a tomb

and then every week,
that dream that i'm dreading
that horrible dream
where you ruin my wedding

when you cry at the alter
and rub your face on my dress
stomping in your heels, screaming
how you miss his caress

in front of my family and the few friends i have
embarrassing me for some years from the past
pleading and whining, complaining and crying
talking about memories to him, reminding
him of all the times when he loved you..
and making him forget me, God, forsaking
making me cry instead of saying i do
and then you make him say it to you..

insomnia, i thought, 

would my only battle be

but you're causing me such insanity

what i would give 

that for just one day

that every thought of you 

would just go away

just one night

that's all i need

because i'm so tired

that i can barely read

insomnia, i thought, 

would my only battle be

but you're causing me such insanity

i just want you away from me
i'll beg with all of my desperation
its even worse to break a heart
in the state of deprivation