describing me.
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Friday, March 25


omg @_@ i was so freaking out this morning when i heard that the creator of pokemon died in the earthquake
....thank God it was a rumor (nintendo confirmed)
i almost cried D: i was so shocked! people shouldnt play like that!!!
he has made so many people's childhoods fun and interesting
Pokemon is one of my favorite memories of my childhood
when i didn't have friends, my pokemon were my friends
...is it wierd that playing interactive / roleplaying video games
make me feel less lonely?
like talking to people and battling in pokemon
gives me the feeling of playing with actual people..
and when i play sims its like having interactions with people...(literally making my own friends xD)
its kind of sad that i am really that lonely of a person :/ ehh..
randomly decided to make a selfy ^ _ ^
saw it on Wynter's blog :)
i was curious xD

isnt it cute? lol its a little aeri ^_^
its like a mix of kid me and me now
sorry no pics in this post D:
i got caught up in a convo with my friend JoJo this morning
so i didnt get to buy any breakfast or take a picture
which is sad bcoz i look cute today > _ <
but i will post some later :) i took some before i left on my camera
i figured out how to make flash on my camera look good
i found a setting that turns down the brightness =) heeeeeee
maybe will blog later if i dont leave school...
i'm thinking about just leaving after 4th bell because not doing much the rest of the day...
i dont wanna miss government though >_>
i like that class xD
also, i have alot more money now ;D
i'm cashing my check tomaro, then i will have 150$
and nick is giving me 50$ for a dare i did...
XDDD but anyway, so 200$ :P
heeheehee i just might get that parkway drive stuff after all xD
but regardless, i still need a job
so i'm still waiting to go to Northgate to apply for jobs, and going to apply at the gas station
and i feel funny that i actually considered applying at Victoria Secret >_<
no no no no >_< nevahhh
and i had another bad dream :( 2 of them
that song that i have loved the past few days
has now been ruined
and that dream was a heartbreaker
and you-know-who wasn't in it, but it actually hurt more
all of the words were like the opposite
then the next dream after i went back to sleep
idk if you guys have these, but its like a music video
the dream was set to the sirens song by parkway drive
and it was basically me meeting my demise
i woke up really devastated and kinda scared
dont think it will happen but still a scary dream...
trying not to et it affect me though
the devils not ruining my favorite song!
fuck you stupid demon, this is my music!

Thursday, March 24

ohayogozaimasu ~ ♥

i'm feeling good today :) not much sleep, but fine
and i want to try this adorable recipe for panda bread!
click the link for the recipe posted by a really sweet blogger :)
i've also concluded that i must ride this plane one day ~
All Nippon Airlines' Pokemon airplane (Courtesy of flightaware.com)
super kawaii > ώ <
i want to have cinnamon rolls tonight
and soon i plan on making my own onigiri ^^~~
i might make something baked soon too :)
i've been in a cooking mood lately,
i usually cook when i'm either really bored or really happy
right now, i am  happy   so i want to make things ^ _ ^
i have 10 dollars before my 100$ left,
so might buy baking supplies and make something nice :)
i love my scotty <3
this morning he asked me to remind him to take a form to school
little does he know that those little reminders make me feel very special and important :3 i like to feel that way ^^
i have many songs stuck in my head right now >_<
A Perfect Mess by From First to Last, The Siren's Song by Parkway Drive and With Eyes Wide Shut by blessthefall
i listen to alot more music lately because i've been reading and it helps
i have to go to the bathroom >_<
i may blog later :)

p.s. also news soon about my special june coming up :) i will surely enjoy <3 i cant wait to tell you all about it!

Wednesday, March 23


[[old picture from new years]]
still unsure of what to blog about...i need a topic or something :| mehh..
listening to music and just finished my project
have to do an online book review =.=
just annoyed with many things right now really and extemely hungry and want breakfast-food badly...i bought a big tub of cookie dough so i cant wait for that to come in ^^ but then i bought breakfast so i'm mad at myself :( all i know is that i refuse to spend my 100$ till i go to a shopping center. and i get 40$ when i cash my check so that's good too...i think i'll open a bank account with that money so i dont spend it so much. because i am afraid of cards even secured ones so it would be good xD

i found out there is another song that makes me cry. With Eyes Wide Shut by blessthefall. so sweet <3 that song is beautiful and though it sounds sad its so adorable. whatever girl he wrote that for probably cried her eyes out with happiness and attacked him with love <33 so yah, not sad tears :) happy tears for whoever that girl is :))

Lyrics - In Loathe With You

written about 3 weeks ago
*loathe means hate...hopefully people got that part

a rose, a pain, a suffering
a mending, stitching, buffering
dont cry before the glue can dry, or i'll fall apart.
but that's what you longed for, wasnt it?
and its way too late to stop it
because on the path that you followed
led me straight to the devil's hollow

i'm so, in loathe, with you.
i'm so, in loathe, with you.
i'm so, in loathe, with you~ and~ darling, i~ need to have~ you gone.

from summer's stench to winter's cold
memories sting both young and old
and all of them without you
you weren't there, but were you?
hovering silent, beautiful
mumbling cries, so revengeful
your sweet voice, calm him, calm him
dont call him, it wont calm him...

i'm so, in loathe, with you.
i'm so, in loathe, with you.
i'm so, in loathe, with you~ and~ darling, i~ need to have~ you gone.

you'll bring me to my grave~
and only love might save
if you knew the - weapon~ you-are~ to me,
you'd understand!
i cant live with you!
not even the thought you!
even though my heart's- been- torn- a-part,
you'll never care...

i'm so, in loathe, with you
i'm so, in loathe, with you
i'm so, in loathe, with you~ and~ darling, i~ need to have~ you gone.

Tuesday, March 22

parkway drive ( > . < )

i am so obsessing over everything in thier store but it costs so much!
i have birthday money left over and its so tempting to spend 100$ on this stuff just to get the free parkway drive flip flops xDDD but i love this band :( unfortunately i have things on my list that i need to get


uhh not really sure what to blog about...
i went to dance yesterday and got to be in 2 videos...
but i messed up in 2 of them and got lost ._.
e m b a r r a s s i n g
and you all know how easily embarrassed i am~
and the videos are going on fb T -T ahh

lately i have been reading lots of posts on cracked and life's little mysteries
they are my favorite sites now i think (besides blogger)
and my new (possibly) favorite band is Parkway Drive
wierd to have a new favorite band for the first time in like 8 years..

right now i'm going to listen to music and finish that book i'm reading
i started writing a couple of songs but idk if i'll post them or not..
i'm just not in the best mood i guess.. i dont wanna talk about it :(
i wore a dress over my polo today with shorts and leggings underneath
it goes past my knees anyways but its a good habit to wear things under it
i've been doing that since i was little and find it more comfortable anyway
i dont really like a breeze xD

sorry for the awkward post...
maybe a new better one when i'm feeling better


Monday, March 21

i miss late arrival.

two tired eyes floated towards the school building, nearly no color upon them besides a tint of red-brown. a tan skin covering with a blue mesh cushioned her as she lay down her head to rest at the table. with the device in her hand to speak of the night, how sleep was nonexistant and how the lovers wish that it was. gliding up the stairs with only a hope not to be struck sick. wanting to go back to her chamber and bring her love with her, to feel his breath on her shouder and to breathe on his, to embrace and to find the sleep they could have had, knowing they could have it together.
thats how i feel this morning. summary in 6 words:
 i'm tired and i miss nick.
ugh im so tired it's retarded. and not exactly the best week/weekend :(
last night was great though :) i got to see him :)
i went to his house for dinner ^_^ fish sticks, shrimp, mac&cheese, corn and 2 big cups of diet coke :D
i would have taken a picture of it but i think his mom would have been like wtf...xD

+alot of annoyance at school =.=
"friends" not talking to me and not even saying why?. my friends bf in my class keeps talking about her "hot friends." makes me sick!! i mean you know im right here! obnoxious people in general. people i dont know or dont like constantly saying hi to me. this girl i dont know that pokes my shoulder everyday. the stupid "shoulder bump then glare" thing you do to people that you dont like...that people i dont know are doing to me -.-' being made fun of for stupid random things. this stupid reading book. teacher bothering me. UNIFORMS. late bus and early wakeup time x(. people talking during the lecture when i want to hear whats being talked about. ugh >_<
i cant stand school sometimes really =.= i jus want to smack half of the people here >_< like really stfu!
i mean i've just been stressed in general the past couple of weeks. i hate it. im pretty sure the next bad thing that happens im probably going to explode. i've been totally pushed to my limit and when i finally get fed up i dont hold back :/ which i really dont like.
trying hard to be patient so things can get back to normal.


i really need to do something with my hair
i might dye it again :/
but im definately going to trim my bangs when i straighten it again
and i need to touch up my relaxer >_< my hair is going crazy
the curls are growing back in at full force
and usually only black people use relaxers and they dont work well on mixed hair ~
on my hair, it makes my hair stay straight longer when i flat iron it
and instead of super curly its more wavy instead
looks better in my opinion ^_^ i hate my curls no matter what though >_<
i am so tired i could sleep on this table ._.' mehh

and i need to go to the mall
i need new uniform pants...my khackie's ripped  and my black ones are too big now :/ the button is nearly fallen off now
also a few other things i want...a couple shirts i saw online and some perfume ^_^
eh idk...i really just need a job :|
ja ne~

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