describing me.
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Friday, February 18

a long lost friend, new haircut, and good friday gone bad.

k o n n i c h i w a  t o m o d a c h i ~ !
this weekend has been a bit wierd 
friday, i was supposed to hang out with scotty
it was supposed to be like our valentines day...
he asked if someone else could come (i.e my friend katie)
cuz he didnt wanna do the same thing all the time...
i guess he forgot about our valentines day and i was like 
why have someone else there??
i felt a little insulted to be honest :/ but i tried to keep being nice
i just wanted it to be a good day...
so i asked her to hang out, but she said she had to work
then when i told him, he said whatever...so he didn't wanna hang anymore . . .
which made me really upset that he wanted my friend there in the first place but that he didnt wanna hang out anymore because of her not coming i was really messed up over it 
i told him if he changed his mind i'd still be here...
he hung up on me so i called back and left a voicemail...
i texted him and i got no reply...
i figured he didn't want to hang out at all..
usually when i get no reply for a while he just doesnt talk for the rest of the day until like 11pm when he finally comes home so i figured it was just gonna be another one of those lonely days...
i was on facebook and saw that one of the bands i've been dying to see for years was at the club a few minutes away from my house, along with 2 other bands, one i'd never heard of and one that i wanted to see again. i was like omg  i really don't want to go to cracker barrel
my mom came home and was ready to leave for the restaurant and i assumed i would have been at nicks by now so i wouldnt have to go but she told me to get ready and i was like ahh D:
my friend chloe volunteers at the underground (the club the bands are playing at) and said it was 15$ at the door if i could get a ride and i was like WOW THATS A GREAT PRICE!! 
i spur of the moment asked my mom if she could take me real fast and i was expecting a no but instead i got a "sure its on the way to the restaurant" and was like OMG YES!
so i hopped in the car thinking everything was gonna be great
~  w  r  o  n  g  ~
i got a text from nicko right as i got in the car, 
i said "text me if you need me i'm going to the underground"
he text back saying 
i guess u can just do that
i was a bit confused...i wasnt even expecting a reply
he never pays attention to his phone when he's with friends
i told him i wasnt doing anything wrong, my friend chloe is there, i went by myself and only there to see the bands and nothing else
but he said he was mad and i had a guilt trip...
i wanted to go home but my mom said she wouldnt take me back home (obviously they were at the restaurant already) and i had already spent 15$ on a ticket with my own money :/
i asked nick to tell me why he was mad but he wouldnt tell me so i was having a guilt trip and didnt know what i did D:
i still tried to enjoy the show anyway
the bands were all really great, the opening band was a band called "Write This Down"
i wasnt sure what to make of them because i had no clue who they were @_@ but they were great!
as soon as they came out they played thier song called "Alarm the Alarm" and the first thing i heard (and felt) was the double bass and i was like :D
automatically jumping and screaming xD
first was Write this down, then Project 86 (the main reason i came) then disciple
project 86...was just beyond words
and i couldnt believe how young they were! 23?! i thought they were 30
but dont tell them i said that >_>"
disciple was amazing as usual, always looking foreward to the sermons at the end
one lady actually collapsed and scared us all but she was okay
just low blood sugar
this is my doll, i had since i was 1/12 yr old
back then, i named him barney because i thought thats what he looked like
my mom found him and reunited us

....dont know what else to type bye

should be a good day.. :)...

today its supposed to be really nice out ~
me and my scotty are supposed to hang out today ^_^
our late valentines day :) i made him a card
i think he'll really love it!
my friend katie might be coming too...
my stomach is hurting really bad right now -____-
its about to be that "time of the month" >_>
i really hope today goes well...
i need it :)
slightly angry right now
i just feel really bothered =.=
i feel like everything is going to go wrong
but i hope its just a feeling
the day started off pretty good
but then when i got to school i fell up the stairs -.-
a bunch of people laughed...but i just went on
then i got my head pushed into the water fountain again
i thought about biting them for it...advice from my friend Sue xD
when people are mean to you,
bite them...it makes them shocked and then they leave you alone
but instead of biting them i tripped them and walked away lol
i felt bad about it but i dont care >_<
they pushed my head in a water fountain!
and all my makeup came off :( the worst part
i wiped the water off my face with my sleeve and all of my makeup came off on it!
so now the sleeve of my blue sweater,
is the same color as my arm >_> its humorous xD
my friend said she thought i had a hole in my sweater from far away D:
this foundation must be like paint ._.  ahh. . .
generally im in an okay mood
just a bit worried and kinda touchy >_>

Thursday, February 17

pigtails, boredome, and "if i were a"...

╔═══════════════ ೋღ ღೋ ═════════════════╗
please never frown baby, im falling in love wit your smile
╚═══════════════ ೋღ ღೋ ═════════════════╝

♥ ~ o h a i y o g o z a i m a s u ~ !
from watching so much Hidamari i've actually been saying this in the morning...
makes my sister confused lol but at least she knows what it means
today i decided to wear my hair in 2 pigtails, cute huh? n_n
unfortunately one of my rubber bands broke halfway thru the day -_- fml xD
btw, i'm so bored i could poop in a school bathroom...
not gonna lie, there's quite a few whores at my school
the last thing you wanna do here is pee xD
here's this "if i were" thing i stole from koo
she got it off of tumblr somewhere and i thought it would be fun :)
so here is mine,

If I were a country, I'd be Japan.
If I were a month, I'd be June.
If I were a day of the week, I’d be Friday. 
If I were a time of day, I’d be 3:26pm.
If I were a season, I'd be Indian Summer.
If I were a planet, I’d be Pluto.
If I were a sea animal, I’d be a jellyfish.
If I were a direction, I’d be South.
If I were a piece of furniture, I’d be a cushioned stool.
If I were a liquid, I’d be cinnamon latte. 
If I were a tree, I’d be a palm tree.
If I were a tool, I’d be an screwdriver.
If I were a flower, I’d be a gloriosa lily.
If I were a kind of weather, I’d be misty spring rain.
If I were a musical instrument, I’d be an ocarina.
If I were a colour, I’d be purple.
If I were an emotion, I’d be inferior.
If I were a fruit, I’d be a strawberry. 
If I were a sound, I’d be the sound of a wooden windchime.
If I were an element, I’d be air.
If I were a food, I’d be tofu miso soup.
If I were a place, I’d be a studio.
If I were a material, I’d be silk.
If I were a taste, I’d taste like applebutter.
If I were an animal, I'd be a small short-hared, gray kitten.
If I were a scent, I’d smell of mango.
If I were a facial expression, I’d be a polite half-grin.
If I were a song, I’d be Shatter Me With Hope by HIM.
If I were a pair of shoes, I’d be black pointe shoes with deep purple ribbons.

Poem - For My Scotty

even though your night was rough,
i really hope your day's not tough
and even though your mood is bad
i wont let you be down and sad
i'll come over if you want, just to give you a hug
make sure everything's good, then to your face i'll plug
and wave goodbye, and take my bike
then call you later, if you like
school is hard and parents can be cruel
always a bother and too many rules
but i'll make you happy, forget about them
you're doing great, for you i'll defend
i love you so much and i hate when you're down
so when i get home, i want to hear your sound

so call me later :)
i love you scotty ♥

Wednesday, February 16

Poem - Winter's Night

Love me
now that it's cold
enough to cuddle close
Love me
yesterday night
with a fire by us, we huddle
no tensions,
to only reach you...
even i still dream of it
r e m e m b e r
nights, cold nights
i love, i adore it
grinning at me,
hearing your voice
this is perfect

Acrostic - Marshmallows

Marshmallows are
A mystery
Re-image this for me
Show a marshmallow growing
Here from a vine on a tree
My childhood me, thought that's how it would be
A marshmallow...growing on a tree...
Laughing you may be,
Laughing you may not,
Or maybe you don't care
Whatever, it was only a thought
Sometimes, i just used to wonder...

Poem - The Frontlines

into desprie, has my heart been sent
you mean more to me than anyone's ever meant
i miss the feel of you, you're lips against mine
our fingers crossing over, as you smile infront of my face
i'll beg you, i need you, i'll drop to my knees
i weep for you
"love me"
"be with me"
be brave, darling, fight with me
side by side, on the frontlines
to join together, to be one
to unify our love
"save me"
"fight with me"
its just two soldiers against the world
but two good soldiers can still win the war
so, what do you say?
"join me"
"come with me"
and everything can be perfecct again

Poem - Understand

do you know why i cry?
or do you care?
i wish you would help
instead of only yell...
what happened to you?
the sensitive you,
that always picked me up when i was down
no matter what
now every feeling, to you, is a complaint
     even when i miss you...
         even love..
you say all i ever do is complain
when i'm really just asking to be held.
saying all of my feelings are wrong...
saying i only cry for stupid reasons...
but have you noticed,
that almost every tear i've shed,
has fallen to your name?
i'm childish? but how...
my passions are only misplaced to you..
i'm compassionate
i'm emotional,
and although i have so much hate in my heart,
love and care will always surpass.
so i only have one request...
no matter how much you hate it,
please try to understand.

Lyrics - Don't Want To

i don't want to lie
i don't want to cry
i don't want you to stay away
i want to lay
i want to say
that i just want you to be mine

come with me and forget the past
sweep it behind you like shattered glass
i'm here to save you, i'll give you love
something real, and you'll never get enough

i'll say it more than once,
i'll say it till our bodies' dust
when you're with me, there's none to fear
you'll be so much better with me here

i don't want to lie
i don't want to cry
i don't want you to stay away
i want to lay
i want to say
that i just want you to be mine

carefully calculating
my every word and breath i'm taking
please dont leave me,
its not worth the pain
i want you, i long for you
i'd cry for you, die for you
so hear every word i say
the drop off is only a step away...

i don't want to lie
i don't want to cry
i don't want you to stay away
i want to lay
i want to say
that i just want you to be mine

i don't want to die
i don't want to try
i don't want to only make you stay,
and i want to be the one
to take your breath away
assure me that you're mine~

i just want you to be mine...♥

Poem - The One For Whom My Heart Yearns

run with me
into the moonlight
across the valley trail
hold my hand
just as we walk
until this night ends...
love in your eyes
mournful eyes
our hair in twist and turns
as i look
into the eyes
of the one for whom my heart yearns

new hairclips & new haircut :)

here's my hair :) cut it myself
i didn't do as much as i wanted...
but i was getting frustrated so i stopped myself so i didn't chop off all of it xD
i gave myself some bangs and cut off some dead ends so my hair looks much better
i also was bored yesterday~~
so i found some flower bead decals and glue and made some cute hairpins :)
these are only the pink ones~
i made blue, green, red, pink/red, blue/pink, yellow/green ones too :)
i have eyeshadows to match xD i am such a girl now >_> ew..

well here's a couple of pictures from v-day

not in a very wordy mood...
tired and sick feeling :/ sorry guys
well ttyl..

Monday, February 14

Happy VALENTINES Day! +new fav anime and great weekend ^^

happy valentines day everyone! 
i made myself into a valentine ^_^ you like it? :D
like my new header? i am transitioning to my new blog name :)
and will change the URL eventually also~
and btw me and nicko are good again :)
although he didn't do all that stuff i wanted because of my anger...
we are good now~ better than good actually
i am happy again  
i have a new favorite anime now!
does anyone else know this show??
yes! it's Hidamari Sketch x365  !
its adorable :D and the song (Hatena De Wasshoi)
its stuck in my head!! maybe possible blog song :P hehe
i think this show is so cute
i wish i lived in those apartments like they do
they are such close friends and do everything together
it seems really fun ^_^ and i love the karaoke episode with Yoshinoya Sensei xD the principal stole the mic...he seems to have parkinson's syndrome
this weekend was really really great 
and if i ever say something about "scotty" in my posts,
that is nicko  he said he'll let me call him that
we hung out on friday night and saturday 
on friday night i met up with nick and leonard and we hung out over at olympian club
it was actually kinda late, very very dark
it was very chilly outside and there was still alot of ice
which was funny with them riding bikes xD
scotty made leonard ride over this huge frozen puddle 
and he fell and busted his head xDDD
it was really funny to me
then~ we were still freezing and i had a box of matches in my purse
so we picked up a bunch of paper and crumbled it together
and lit it on fire to keep warm...
even though we were in front of leonard's house xD
we were being hobos xD
we finally went inside after a while
and then i left at 11-something.. didnt wanna leave :(
but i was so glad to be with him for that long 
-------------on saturday------------
we hung out the whole day again ^_^ i had my bike too
and we rode around in olympian club
once again, my scotty makes leonard do a dumb thing xD
the ice on the baseball field melted~ so lots of mud~
he tells leonard to ride into it...so he does...and he gets stuck xD
when he finally got out of the mud, his shoes were opaque with brown
and his bike tires were smothered in a coat of mud,
it stuck out like an inch xDDD hahaha!
~~~~my favorite part~~~~
about at the night time, we were in the house, cuddling on a bed
it was sweet... talking just to eachother, looking eachother in the eyes
telling me he loves me, and i love him too, and he said he was happy
and i was happy too ♥ lots of hugs and kisses
random convos too, like at one point he said
"how come i can feel my pores but i cant feel yours?"
talking about our faces...he's adorable :)
i love hanging out with him, its comfortable
we can talk about anything with eachother and hug and kiss
and he makes me smile so much ♥
i love his sweet side...i dont see it as often as i used to, but i really love it
i missed it alot...and it was a great feeling to be with him
after this horrible past couple of weeks...
he promised things would stay this way :) pinky promise
seems juvenile, but we always do that
i'd cross my heart, but he has it, so we pinky promise instead :)
he is so very lovely
look at these cute couple edits :) me and scotty ♥
in honor of valentines day, here are my latest re-colors~
i have to finish some work now :)
i am doing finishing touches on my valentine card 
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