describing me.
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Friday, February 4

definately entering this giveaway :D

she is giving away alot of cute stuff :)
deadline is on valentines day ~
go enter :D

i am finally 18 :D

 my first picture in my 18th year :)
i am going to try my best to make this the best day ever! 
and i have many jobs to apply for now :) maybe i can get one
i will make a longer post later ^_^ i have many plans!
i even get to see nicko today!! and go to my favorite restaurant since i was a kid

some things i am looking foreward to:
i made that banner :)
but i want to have a proper heartagram day this year
even if i have to spend it by myself
i will listen to HIM all day
and make a heartagram shaped cookie :)
i am going all out this year!
like i did in 2008 haha that day was so fun ^_^
i met up with a random group of people at some person's house and we had a cake and a party and all made a painting and listened to the songs :) it was so fun! but i never did talk to them again though :/ lol 

also rabbito is sending me a birthday present ^_^
and i'm so excited that im seeing nick today!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG OMG OMG OMG TODAY IS GONNA BE SO AWESOME I'M SO EXCITED OMG OMG OMG :D
AND I LOOK PRETTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! kinda

i cant believe it you guys i'm grown :)
i get to carry my ID with me everywhere now ^_^
i can go into porn shops now >:D
xD i hate porn...but at least i have the privelage xD xD

i'm so excited :)

the first person to tell me happy birthday was nick :)
second was sarah
then rineko
then rabbito ^_^

then at school kelsey was the first who remembered and said it in person :)
thanks everyone!!!!

Thursday, February 3

feeling invisible, blog feature and my recent obsessions :)

do you ever feel like you're invisible? or imaginary?
i've been feeling like that alot..
for about 2 months i have been extremely confused about life
because the world in my head and the real world
have bridged over into eachother
it's driving me nuts..
its confusing and scary because now i cant tell what's real
i had finally figured out what i can see
compared to what other people can see
and i thought i had everything all figured out
had this attitude that everything will be ok because it realy isnt real
then i found out that the worst thing is real
and that everything might not be okay


school is annoying me
and alot of other things are
nick wouldnt text me back at all this morning
i thought my phone messed up so i SMS'd him from MSN
still no reply  . . .
last night when i checked my facebook
i saw that i was tagged in a post by Rabbito-chan :D
she featured me on her blog!!
i got this cute banner also  will go on my sidebar soon
i ♥ her lots :D 
me and nick joined this site called collectoons a few days ago
its a really fun site that is alot like cartoon orbit if you remember that.
you get to collect cartoons and cartoon characters and trade them and its free :D
a girl i talked to on there told me to join the forum
for chatting, latest codes and stuff :)
when i found out you could have a signature i was like
i automatically went to photoscape lol
so here is my siggy! aint it cute??
its got a list of the toons i want and then a powerpuff girls quote
nicktine17 is my boyfriends username ^_^ mine is xoaeribaby :D
click our names to see our cWorlds :D
i have been obsessing over bento boxes lately~
i really really want to! maybe i wouldnt be so embarrassed about packing a lunch with one of these..
Portable chopsticks w/case, B ,5pks
all these found on daisojapan.com :) birthday present? xD
well although this is a bad day so far..
my b-day is tomaro so lets hope it good
although i am very sure that it will not be :(

Wednesday, February 2

=( why!...

this morning has sucked
first when i woke up i had a bad headache and tummy ache
plus i was in a really bad mood from bad dreams
and i was scared out of my undies because the power went out in the middle of the night >_<
i texted my nicko this morning but i got no reply
i text him at 6:47...then 7:03...then 7:05 and i still got no reply so i stopped..
he text me around 7:30 and said
"ok..... its ok that you didnt even say hi...well i love you i hope i didnt do anything..i guess i'll talk to you tomaro"
he didnt get any of my messages
great....just great....
and its super windy outside and i was too light to get to the bus stop so i asked my mom to drive me to school and she got mad
2 days before my birthday and things are already going wrong
this is gonna suck :( what the eff..
cant i just have a good birthday? how bout a good month?
it would be nice to have a month dedicated to just me xD but it would..
just a month where you can be happy and everyone is nice
i want it to be my month and my birthday as my day
i want a good month...please...
no more of this......

Monday, January 31

Poem - It's Raining Now...

it's raining now...
do you remember me?
lying here, waiting for you,
longing just to hear you?
your voice is like a song to me,
maybe i'll hear you howl
soon, maybe, just my name
i like the way it sounds.

its raining now...
do you remember me?
sitting here, dreaming of you,
with my heart and soul, for you?
your kiss is like a drug to me,
soon, maybe, i'll feel your touch
or maybe just a hug...
i miss you so much


my post from yesterday didn't post till this morning...wth >_<
it looks wierd on the news feed and out of order -_-

kitty picture and hating when people play the victim

 ugh i feel all sicky this morning >_<
but nick made me all excited this morning with a big "i love you baby!!!!!!!!"
so i am in a good mood :D
i felt like crap when i woke up though >_<
i definately didn't wanna get out of my bed D: i was mad
plus i'm sad because morp is over and we're back to being in uniforms :(
i hate uniforms >_<
i like being able to express myself with what i wear~
you should have seen me at morp!
i was so confident and outgoing cuz i felt great about how i looked and i liked it and i got in pictures with people i'm not even close with and i think they liked me too ^_^ it was so fun :D

so i hate when people play the victim when thier not
it just pisses me off...
like if someone actually did something to them then okay thats fine
but if someone doesnt care about you OR anyone else...its nothing against you, they just really dont care
someone on formspring called me a heartless b-word for defending my old friend tim but i really dont care
she's already made some vital mistakes...
  • she talked to kacee and lawon, which is a given you just dont talk to them
  • i saw her call this other guy a prettyboy and seemed like flirty the whole convo
  • she like jumped in and just added everyone after she started going out with leonard and acted like she knew all of us
  • she copied me

it bothers me so bad when people copy me!
i'm doing this 30 day picture thing on facebook
which alot of people are doing
and i didn't see anyone having the same one so i just combined numbers from a bunch of different ones i saw
and she copied my exact one...
if thats not a give-a-way i dont know what is
ughhhhhhh it just pisses me off
bcoz i dont even know her! and she said i like how people talk shit about me when they dont even KNOW ME.
so why do you act like you know us?
if you're going to act like you know us then we're going to act like we know you...
isn't that what you wanted?

Sunday, January 30


okay well today sucked 
i hate being invited to things then told i shouldnt come
when its something thats meaningful to me and i actually want to go
i'm pretty pissed off...
i blame this all on her. i dont get why she got to and i cant.
fuck her...whatever..
i'm just looking foreward to dance tomaro. i guess.
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