describing me.
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Saturday, December 12


all i asked for was a good day
but no one ever gets what they want..

Poem - This Is Me Speaking From Heart To Mind

she can do what i do
she did what i do now
she did what i do now before did it
she was first
and she will be the last in the end

she can do what i do, but better
she did what i do now, but better
she did what i do now before i did, but better
she was first
and she will be the last in the end

her beauty must surpass mine
by miles in multiple ways
her eyes must be wider than mine
so you can look in them for days
her arms must be longer than mine
so she can hold on longer and she will never go away
to remain on a crossed line
and on that line she will stay
or drag you to the other side, she may
but that is a price i am willing to pay

she can do what i do, but she does it the best
she must be better than all the rest
although i cannot see what is behind a flesh vest,
i know she runs through the veins concieled in your chest

she can do what i do, i have said through and through
she can do what i do, this i do say is true
she can do what i do, and that is love you
she can do what i do, but not like i do

she can do what i do, i say to thee
but i will never be her, or the same, you see?
for there is betrayal and lies to a certain degree
but to my heart, you alone, have the key

no lies or betrayal, only loyalty here
with me, you have no worries, my dear
the worryer is me when she is near
for our love's death is my only fear

i never want you in pain
as i lie in the bitter cold drops of winter rain
crying for you to see me, plain
and realize your love is what keeps me sane

i wonder and ponder numerous thoughts
of how, for you, i would take infinite shots
to the heart...with a grand canon, ball and all
and to show you that surely, never will i fall!

because my love for you will keep me strong!
because my love for you will last longer than long!
because my love for you is more beautiful than any song!

as i twirl the withering rose between my frail fingers
watching the sun come up as night lingers

so does the thought of you being completely mine
and everyday i search the skies for a sign

i can never break out what i want to speak
for this person called me, so timid and meek
and now, today, with my life so bleak
i finally got the courage, it has reached its peak

to say these words:

although not all of these words may not be so kind,
this is me speaking from heart to mind

Friday, December 11


*yawn* surprisingly good dream last night !!
also turned on my phone to a cute text from mt bf
so far it has been a really good day!!
hopefully it stays this way
know why
i have a show today!

something some of you may not know
is that i have an on-call job,
there is an Illusionist (or magician) named Phil Dalton who i know
and i run the spot light for his magic shows.
when there's a show coming up, i get a call
and i get a ride there & back, get paid and some food!
its a great deal!!

i'm pretty excited  !!

the reason i have to have a good day,
is because i want to do good for the show!
its our first show in a while, so its been a bit since i touched a light
im scared that if im worried at all
i'll do bad...

but i'll be fine since its a good day :)

i tried to make a button...
idk if i did good or not though,

Thursday, December 10

Kaomoji Emoticons!

i've been thinking of making some of my own...this is my attempt lol











smacking yourself:

berry emotikitty
[will make more soon]

[will make more soon]

[will make more soon]

tell m what you think and credit me if you use them ^_^

me and Nick are SOOO cool!

XD read it from the bottom up...

Favorite Lyrics..

random lyrics i really like, from different songs and what not
oh, shut up, we all have them lol

"It's a long walk,
And the music is loud.
She sees an old friend,
And she walks through the crowd.
Puts on her best smile,
But underneath it she's a broken girl."
-She Wil Always Be A Broken Girl
by She Wants Revenge

"She's fading away
Away from this world

Drifting like a feather
She's not like the other girls
She lives in the clouds
She talks to the birds
Hopeless little one
She's not like the other girls (I know)
No more shame, she has felt too much pain, in her life
In her mind she's repeating the words
All the love you put out will return to you"
-Not Like The Other Girls
by The Rasmus

"No te vayas, no te vayas
Oye negrita mira, no te rajes
De lunes a viernes tienes mi amor
Déjame el sábado a mi que es mejor
Oye mi negra no me castigues más
Porque allá afuera sin ti no tengo paz
(Don't go, don't go, listen baby, watch
From Monday to Friday you have my love
Give Saturday to me and you'll be better off
Listen baby, don't punish me anymore
Without you, out there I have no peace)"
-La Tortura
by Shakira

"Beautiful - yet dangerous
thermogenic luminous
like a moth drawn to a flame - i'm the same
all cremated equally"
-Pyretta Blaze

by Type O Negative

"le pido al cielo sólo un deseo
que en tus ojos yo pueda vivir
he recorrido ya el mundo entero
y una cosa te vengo a decir
viajé de bahrein hasta beirut
fuí desde el norte hasta el polo sur
y no encontré ojos así
como los que tienes tú
(My one desire, all I aspire
is in your eyes, forever to live
travelled all over crossed lands and oceans
there is nothing that I wouldn't give
Came from bahrein, got to beirut
looking for someone comparing to you
tearing down windows and doors
and I could not find eyes like yours)"
-Ojos Asi
by Shakira

"And we lay, we lay together just not
Too close, too close (How close is close enough?)"
by Taking Back Sunday

Just like the moon does
We rise'n'shine'n'fall
Over you that I rise'n'shine'n'crawl
Victims aren't we all"
-Brandon Lee
by The 69 Eyes

"We're like two fingers of the same hand
the hand of fate writing on the sand"
-Betty Blue
by The 69 Eyes

"I'd give it all away
just to have somewhere
to go to.
'give it all away
to have someone to
come home to."
-My December
by Linkin Park

"in your eyes i'm picture perfect"
-Picture Perfect
by 10 Years

"don't wanna see you cryin'
little angel on my shoulder.
i wanna see you flyin
back to heaven where you belong"
-Angel On My Shoulder
by The 69 Eyes

"Hanging on by a thread,
the child is screaming
while holding his breath.
how long will you scream at the walls
for someone to listen?
surrender your right to resolve,
'cause no one will listen"
-Scream At The Walls
by 10 Years

will probably post more later :)
thats definately not all of it

took some pictures in animal care! again..

the cute lizard <3

the ferrets!! oscar and grandpa =^_^=

You are happy today when others want to work or play with you.
Luckily, you should have ample opportunity to engage in a variety of group activities,
 even if you must sacrifice a bit of freedom to make it happen.
But don't forget about your own needs
because personal fulfillment is also crucial to your overall sense of well-being.
The trick is to find a sensible balance between individual and social expression.

yeah, that sounds about right.
like the first part esecially...
because i want to do something extra-curricular
but im afraid it will take away all of my freedom
which i dont have much of anyway..

im not entirely sure what "social expression" means though,
i know individual expression is expressing yourself
but what about social?
is that how you express others?
how you express yourself to others??
i'm confused about that a little bit...

but anyways, yesterday sucked a little.
but i got a lot of feelings out..
my knuckles are a bit raw and im not having the best dreams
i found myself stuttering, breathing hard, and cursing alot
which i dont usually do...

i took it all out on dance to try and get myself to feel better
it worked a little
i've choreographed a dance to "Petite Love" by Smile.DK
and i plan on no one EVER seeing it :)

Wednesday, December 9

bored with the camera..

took the first picture with the flash on...
i look odd and uninhibited
yoko nai [lol]
the rest are with no flash
(click to make bigger if you must)

(↑only nick's :P i love him ♥)

↑↑ooo look at those eyes!!

↑ like that one hehe

(↑big smile for nick again!!)

↑↑really like that one!!

sorry i was bored!

not so pretty but i dont car XD
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