describing me.
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Friday, October 9

this game is so addicting for NO reason?!

yeah so, harvest moon...can't stop playin it. STILL. i dont really know whay it's so addicting, its a game about running a farm...A FARM! of course, it is evil to mess with someone's file, cuz this game takes a long time. im in my 4th year and my little person is married with a little kid :D im about to upgrade my house and buy some more land and im an awesome fisher with alot of friends :D i married Alex the doctor, haha. i awakened the harvest goddess after playing for like ever collecting music notes and what not, its an odd game, but its fun and keeps me from being bored...sometimes. my friend got all my chickens sick and they died and it was RIGHT after i got all the hearts and my chickens loved me >.< my sheep love me and one is pregnant, my cow is pregnant, my chickens laid eggs like it was thier job (cuz it was) my pig is fat, my dog is cute, my kid is ugly and my horse is fast :D i like mining cuz it gives you the most money but i hate how in the winter is the only time we can go to the good cave...its so lame for me to be blogging about this...im just gonna stop this here lol

Thursday, October 8

Acrostic - Where Am I?

Where am i?

Here I am,

Everyday, the same

Repeated patters

Every day

AM to PM, where am i?

May I never know;

I am here

Acrostic - Unforgiven, No More

Underneath your sweet exterior, i
Now see what is true
False was my judgement
Or maybe it was yours
Remember what you said, and all you
Gave to me
I may love that you are
Vicious, but even so,
Everything you have done is Unforgiven, you
Now know

Of this is worth

Of this, i
Remember how we were,
Everything was different

Wednesday, October 7

So i dub thee unforgiven...

i guess i draw on myself alot.
(and that picture is unedited, how rare)
every day in credit recovery we get to listen to music and as you see by what's written on my wrist i was listening to "Unforgiven" by Metallica, one of my all time favorite bands...i was also listening to alot of Alice in Chains and Stone Temple Pilots.

it might be hard to read but the first verse of "Would?" by AiC is written on my hand.
i sat thier and listened to the music, totally forgot i was even doing work or supposed to me, i always get lost when thiers music.

some people, when they listen to music, just say "oh that song has a great beat!" or "HOLY [bleep] DID YOU HEAR THAT BREAKDOWN?!" or "that band's lead singer is hot...*sigh*"

when i listen to music, i'm mostly thinking about the lyrics. i'm always trying to find out the meanings, originations, and inspirations for them. When i listen, i can apply that song to my own life and find a totally new meaning. it might remind me of a dream or memory or maybe even a person; either way its so odd how you can do that.
BUT OF COURSE, i do think about the other stuff too. H.I.M.'s lead singer is the epidemy of beautiful, i love the drums in the song "wait and bleed" by Slipknot and yeah, breakdowns in any type of musical shape or form make me very happy :)

well, kinda...there's not much that makes me "happy" these days.

i guaged my left ear up to 4 :)

Photography - Hello, Mr.Mantis!

one of my goals since i was little was to get a picture of a preying mantis (or however you spell it) because its hard to find them...well, today my sister found one on my grandma's porch then came over and told me. i grabbed my camera and sprinted over and took a bunch of pictures! these were the only 2 that werent blurry :( so here they are! haha this kinda excites me!

Photography - Happy Little Loves

Photography - Come to the Front of Grandma's House

my favorite picture i took today. i liked it so much i didnt even edit it

Photography - Tiny Purple and Green

Photography - Garage & Flowers

Poem - 3 is the Unlucky Number

Unlucky, right now
is the number 3
a number of which
involving me
3 deaths
within 3 weeks
i worry for whom
the next may seek
ones who were close,
people i love
for the rest of thier days
will live on above
Float along freely,
angels of mine
protect me so soon
i will be fine
although, i do wish
you werent off the land
you all deserve to be
caressed by God's hand
as you all rest
within His embrace
i pray that he
will lend me His grace
it is the third week
dear Mary is gone
memories are all
i have from now on
It is overwhelming
now and today,
but hopefully soon
i will be okay*

Tuesday, October 6

It basically describes me.

i grew up Christian and i read the Bible. Sounds pretty oldschool, i guess but thats me. this is one of my favorite verses which i came across maybe two weeks ago at church one morning and it basically fits me. so, i thought i'd share it with you guys :)

I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. Romans 7:18

even if you don't believe in God or the Bible, you've got to admit there are people like this. sometimes you know what yu wanna do but really just cant do it. either you don't know how or don't know exactly what but still there is. everyone knows they do stuff thats bad whether they admit it or not, and people really do wanna do good, whether they admit it or not. (of course everyone also had thier own standards of good and bad which also plays a part, but you get my point)

Acrostic - Torment

Torn, I am
Over your lies
Ringing in
My ears
Every day, I want
No more

Poem - Split

Her heart is confused
Her heart is torn
Her heart is beaten
Her heart is worn
Her heart is smothered
Her heart is lit
Her heart, forlorn
Her heart is split

In two pieces
Lie the remains
Side by side
They weigh in chains
Leaving a trail of tears
From sweet memories and lies
Happy beginnings
And sad goodbyes

One side of her heart
Doesn’t want to go
One side of her heart
Doesn’t want to know
One side of her heart
Wont tell a soul
One side of her heart
She thought was whole

All in all, she feels confused
One side is in love
One side is abused
She said as she cried
“what did I do?”
She asked to the sky
“which side is true?”

As she hid her face
She felt an arm around her
It appears her guardian
Angel has found her

He spoke to her softly
“everything will be fine”
Then let her know
“I’ll never leave you behind”

She looked up at him
He held her close
She felt so safe
He held her close

Once again,
He wiped her tears away
Once again,
She knew not what to say

Her heart is confused
Her heart is torn
Her heart is beaten
Her heart is worn
Her heart is smothered
Her heart is lit
Her heart, forlorn
Her heart is split

In two pieces
Lie the remains
Side by side
They weigh in chains
Leaving a trail of tears
From sweet memories and lies
Happy beginnings
And sad goodbyes

Monday, October 5

my favorite song at the moment...

The song Beautiful by H.I.M. is a song that is continuously stuck in my head. it plays over and over and never gets old. there are two versions and i love them both but here's one:

i use music to describe my moods and feeling and its just one of those songs that pin-point exactly how im feeling in the most perfect way. this band does that for me alot. Yeah, all of thier songs are love songs and that's my point. i'm a artist & a lover at heart and this band captures that, it feels good to listen to music that makes you feel understood, don't you agree?

Photography - Good Morning, Monday

i took this a couple weeks ago, i love sunrises and sunsets and the colors they make. that day turned out to not be so good, but the morning sky was gorgeous <3

Photography - Corsage

this is the corsage Nicko gave me for homecoming, but this was while it was still alive. lol. its kinda dried-up and shrively now but that's what flowers do. And even though that flower didn't live forever, the memory of that day always will :)

Sunday, October 4

writer's block.

i think i'm going stupid. i mean yea, i'm already pretty dumb but i think im stretchin to fully retarded. not only am i stuck on writing in my stories, but i cant even think of anything to blog about! all you have to do is think of a subject and type about it, and i cant even do that. i havent gotten a good shot lately so i havent posted much new photography, i've been expirimenting with new styles in my poetry but i dont know if i like it or not so i'm afraid to post it. i've been focused alot more on music lately and all ive realy been doing is playing guitar, piano, singing and writing lyrics...i'v been meaning to paint but i havent gotten to it, ive got an image in my head but for some reason my hands just arent working and i dont entirely understand it...
i'm gonna try and get my muse back,
but first i gotta find it *
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