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Wednesday, June 9

my speech

this is the speech i gave recently that i told you all about. its about my journey through highschool so far...but its very vague compared to what really happened. i left alot out.. but here we go

Alright, so, what have I learned in high school so far…I have learned that all guys are jerks, girls are always backstabbers, teachers are always evil, cheerleaders are mean and jocks steal your lunch money; valuable life lesson, right? Wrong. I didn’t learn that at all. I learned that the way they portray high school on movies and tv are totally different than actual high school. I learned that all of those stereotypes are completely untrue. I also learned that you don’t have to change or be someone that you aren’t just to fit in and that “fitting in” in school isn’t even important.
I already felt out of place just being in school in general, because there are so many people and so many faces, but I moved right after middle school to this district where I didn’t know anybody and was about to start attending a school that I had never even heard of. That took loneliness to a whole other level. I walked into the building knowing one person in the entire school and she wasn’t even in any of my classes. This school was totally new and I didn’t know my way around and barely how to get home and having to walk for the first half-year trying to figure out which way would get me home the fastest before I died of starvation on the side of Springdale. I didn’t know really anyone at my school and no one in my neighborhood besides my grandma and the paperboy.
Eventually, I made my way around the school but still more or less kept to myself. There were two guys in my Art class who would blow kisses at me every morning to make me in the most awkward way possible then I made a friend in my second class, which only had 5 people in it. Two of them were always asleep, one was never there and then there was me and the guy next to me, and all I knew was that we liked the same music and that he farted louder than anyone I knew. He was my first friend in high school. Freshman year English, was definitely the best.
Still being my quiet self, I made another friend in an odd way. One day, someone ran up to me, yelling “hot potato!” and scooped me off the ground then threw me around in a circle of about 4 other people. After them doing this every day for about a week, he finally says to me “so, what’s your name?” and then I had a bunch of friends just from the hallway, it was a good feeling even though it was a funny start.
I had been stalked a little my first year in gym class, but its not something I often mention. We were at a time best friends, but then things got creepy and I faded my self away, then I was getting harassed by him and he left the school. It’s the beginning of the year and he’s back. And he’s in the same lunch as me, staring me down as I sat at lunch and it was a little scary, I was hoping he wouldn’t do anything but I didn’t really tell anybody what was wrong either, because no one would take me seriously, because I wasn’t usually serious in front of people.
The end of the year was coming and everyone was excited until tragedy struck, one of my best friends had passed away. I found out over the web while I was spending the night at my friend’s house…but my friend that had passed, lived only four houses up the street. Now I had only wished I had stayed home and went up to the store and passed her house that day instead, so maybe she could have seen me from the window and asked me for help so maybe she could still be here. Now there’s one less bright face here, but I know God values her talent more than anyone on earth ever could.
Now it’s the end of my freshman year, and after a horrible second semester and nearly getting expelled for something that shouldn’t have mattered, I had failed the year. And I had hoped to see all of my friends the next year, but most of them were seniors and graduated. So there I was again, feeling alone, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to drop out, get a job, paint pictures and make music.
Now, I’m supposed to be a sophomore but at the beginning of my second year of high school, I don’t have enough credits and still count as only a freshman. Or they call it a “fresh-more.” I made a friend in my credit recovery class and had a set 3 people that I talked to everyday, which is nice because I liked the routine. My friend had almost every class with me including lunch so we were always together. After a while of not knowing where to sit, we went over to a different table after my friend lured me with a laser pointer, taking advantage of my not being able to resist following it. It was a fun lunch after that, everyone at the table shared food with eachother and they were all hilarious. I remember when one of them made a green bean castle an a tower out of everyone’s milk cartons. It was good times.
At about the beginning of second semester, my friend who I was always with had gotten expelled for who-knows-what and moved to Kentucky. Now, I didn’t have anyone to talk to all day anymore, but then it got a little better once we all got new classes. I had creative writing which is just what I needed and I became close with another girl from credit recovery and my friend from freshman algebra. By the end of the year, we were all like family.
then here comes May, and things start going bad with me and my boyfriend at the time and he broke up with me on the first day of summer vacation, and it almost ruined my summer. But the day before he broke up with me, I got a message online from someone who I had met before but barely knew, and the next days on, he tried to cheer me up every single day. After only 2 weeks I couldn’t help but love him already and I told him and he said he felt the same. I went to New York and then the rest of the summer was with him, and his name is Nick.
I started the new school year almost completely over once again. I lost all of my middle school friends because they all changed and stopped talking, my whole lunch table from last year was almost all seniors and my two friends from Creative Writing went on to Butler Tech, which I didn’t get accepted to. I felt lonely and didn’t really have anyone to talk to that I was close with, I just looked foreward to going home and making art. And I was a sophomore in my now supposed to be junior year from slacking off, but I didn’t even care. I just wanted to drop out, get a job, paint pictures and make music.
Here comes second semester and still as always, I’m keeping to myself. Right before the beginning of second quarter starts, I’m on the phone with my boyfriend one night and we were talking about random things, then he hung up. Then called me back and wanted to talk about school, so I was confused. After half an hour, he said that when we get older and get married, that we’d be cute hobos but he’d rather us have money. And I got a laugh out of it, but we made a deal that if I did good, then he would too. Now, I have straight A’s for the first time since 4th grade, making a complete turn around.
It feels good to be passing, when you’ve basically failed every year since the 5th grade, you just get used to failing and start to care…but then when you finally think of something you really want, like a future with somebody and really start dreaming, you can do anything. Including have friends.
I’ve encountered so many different people here in high school and I was scared they would be mean to me at first, but everyone ends up nice somehow. Just the other day, there was a girl who I have been holding the door for since the beginning of the year, she says hi to me in the hallways now and smiles. People who I’ve even just said hi to or smiled at, still wave to me like they remember me. I don’t have much in common with many people, but its always cool to have people you can call your friends that are nice to you. I know people from every “clique” and their all nice.
So once a failure, not always a failure; you don’t have to fit in, cheerleaders aren’t mean, jocks don’t steal your money, not all teachers are evil, not all guys are jerks and not all girls will stab you in the back.
It’s the end of my junior year and I’ll be graduating hopefully next year. Me and Nick have been together almost a year and once again, most of my friends are graduating. Now next year I get to start all over again but this time I wont be as alone or scared. I cant wait to go to college and move out. All I wanna do is graduate, get a job, paint pictures and make music.

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