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Tuesday, June 1

k a l e i d o s c o p e

i really want one, this picture reminds me of one :)
i had one when i was little that i bought at a Yard Sale but i lost it :(
i havent ever seen one in a store or anything either,
so, i think i'm going to make one on my own
i remember how it looked...maybe i will go to the craft store soon :)
i need some canvas anyway
on a different note:
things are going well :) i am very happy
there are a few things that have been bothering me but nothing too big,
just things from the past about people i thought were my friends.
and it makes me feel angry and jealous...
maybe one day i can finally make more friends that will respect me and my relationship
that is why i tend not to befriend girls so much (in RL, internet is fine)
my friends that are boys will respect my relationship and wont mess it up
and they dont mind to warn me about girls that will
...unfortunately those girls that will do that kind of thing always seem to fool me and then i figure out whats going on
and girls like that...i cant stand to see them...
but i will still be nice, i'll be uncomfortably nervous but still tolerable
i know girls that will respect me, and i'm going to try and be closer with them
that way i can have people to talk to that both me and my boyfriend can be friends with, without problems :)
~~i do think it is important that we have friends that we both get along with, because we do want to be together forever and with love you become one, so they should be able to be friends with both of us, i think...it makes sense to me :) its not bad for us to have our own separate friends though, i dont mind that.

i just always say to myself if i'm hanging out with my friends,
"dont do anything that you wouldnt do if nick was here"
and i abide by that. i wouldnt want to disrespect someone i love, especially him. i take it upon myself to show him i love him, even if he isnt there. everyone knows how much i care for him because i always show it :)
whether its just respecting him or sharing a memory, everyone knows and i make darn sure of it!
more good news! i'm starting an amazing band :D its going to be a sweet line-up of me and my friend rose, both on bass and vocals, nick on drums and link on guitar :) finally i can make my songs come to life! you guys have all read my lyrics on here, well now i can finally have them performed :D maybe after we start practicing we can put up a video or something and you all can see my music come to life with these amazing, talented people :) i'm so excited to start on this, its going to be great i can just sense it!! i'm gonna lead this the right way this time :) i wanna start with my own music right away, i'm so excited :D maybe do like 3 of my songs and then maybe a cover, i want to cover Dark Sekret Love by HIM, i think rose's and my voice will favor it, and its a really heavy song, which is perfect for having 2 bass players :) wish me luck everybody!!
also, i think i may do volleyball next year...i'm thinking about it :)
i may start going to conditioning on tuesdays and thursdays...i think i might :D
life has been good lately,
i think its going to keep getting better :)
i definately hope it is! ♥ until later,

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