novemberfever.

this is my unlucky month. i cant remember even one november that was good for me. bad things already coming up this november...

1. its november...
2. its someone thats hurtful to me's birthday..
3. the day after, my mom has surgery... (the 18)
4. thanksgiving
5. the anniversary of mistake..

this morning, nicko wasnt so talkative, so i am freaking out. especially after how good yesterday was, i thought he would want to talk to me :( who knows... i'm not looking forward to this month at all... i just want to skip over it :( and that "mistake" is already haunting me (more than usual). i fell asleep last night at nicks house, and had a bad dream.. [[see the nightmare]]
  when i woke up he asked me what was wrong. i aparently cried in my sleep :( i felt my face wet. i think i'm going to call this "novemberfever." this whole miserable time lasts all of fall, but is the worst in november. starting in august when school starts, ending with thanksgiving being the worst event.
  hopefully you guys will bare with me, cuz these are the hardest times for me...

a shame it has to be in my favorite season :( gosh..