okay...venting!! ὺ.ύ

okay, this is something that is annoying the living crap out of me.

i cant stand how some people call skinny people "nasty" or think they have an eating disorder... they say everyone wants to be skinny, but they don't understand that sometimes its really not the best! honestly, i wish i was a size 1, but i am a 0. it is not because i don't eat, i am food's biggest fan. its not because i "purge," i don't. i have a high metabolism and i for some reason cannot gain weight easily and if i do i can't keep it on. the only weight i can gain is muscle, and even though i don't work out i am still toned because that's how my body was made. i'm not skinny because i want to be, its just the way i am.

    it is extremely hard to find clothes being this size, and being short doesn't help. alot of girls wear thier shirts a size too small and don't realize that yes, i wear an extra small...i want my clothes to fit. and that i am nearly an adult, and thata size smaller would be in the children's section! no... i do not want to shop there, i am not a kid anymore.  plus because i am skinny and curvy too, my clothes never fit right. i have...well a good sized chest and backside and sometimes i have to have to search far and wide for a pair of jeans that fit. people go "oh my god you are so skinny!!" but don't they know that it isn't really a compliment when they say it in envy? :\

     i always used to get made fun of for being small. not just short, but skinny too. my doctor always tell me to gain weight, friends tell me to gain weight, make jokes like "you need to eat" and laugh at me and some people are alot more harsh...i wish they would realize that it really really hurts me. that is one of the main reasons i am not confident about my body is because i am so small...but the thing is, i can't do anything about it. i've tried stuffing myself, i've tried to bulk up....one time i only ate rice and pasta and drank soda for 2 months and still didnt get any weight. people say it is hard to lose weight and easy to gain, but for me it is the opposite. and i keep getting smaller!

  7th grade - ~120 lbs.

  8th grade - ~100 lbs.

  9th grade - ~97 lbs.

10th grade - ~90 lbs.

11th grade - ~90 lbs.

12th grade - ~86 lbs.

do they think this is fun??! no! i feel like i am going to vanish into thin air into a few years! i eat more now than i ever have and i am more skinny than i was before! but i look fine...i don't look like i'm dying or anything, i have a nice shape and toned muscles. in fact, i've seen girls skinnyer than me but taller. i don't like the way they make fun of skinny people, it's just as bad as being mean to fat people. its harsh :/ alot of people only pay attention to fat jokes, but the skinny jokes are sometimes worse. and they stereotype fat people as being "jolly" or just that they eat alot, but you know what they think about skinny people? "bolemic" "anorexic" ...it's just mean :(

i will probably never be much bigger than  this either, my whole family is small...but no matter whoever, people need to watch what they say because alot of people are hurt by comments alone and no one knows because they wont say anything.

...k done venting :)