variations

3 variations of a photo i took the other day

i'm still trying to figure out photoshop and i played with this a little

this first one is unedited ↓

this is the first edit ↓

this is the edit of the first edit ↓

3 different variations and none of them look all that good

the last one is my pick for the best of the three

right now i'm about to do my Cheer-up Plan.

what is that?

its doing a bunch of things that i like all at the same time to distract myself from having a bad day.

because i am not at all in the greatest mood.

my Cheer-up Plan:

Listening to playlist of my favorite songs & playing bass/singing

Drinking Root Beer and eating microwave pizza

Going through good memories in my head

Writing poetry and watching .hack//sign re-runs

listening to "Rain" on Orisinal.com

it helps a little..

try making one yourself and see if it works for you

Horoscope

  A     Q     U     A     R     I     U     S  

It's normally easier for you to be logical than emotional, 
but the Moon's visit to your sign 
can bring intense feelings to the surface now.
 You may not be fully in control 
as you bounce back and forth between your head and your heart.
 Once you have expressed your needs, 
you might overcompensate by acting in a cool, intellectual manner.
 Your hot-cold mood swings could confuse others, 
so do your best to find a rational middle-of-the-road approach.


~


actually, its alot easier for me to be emotional than logical
maybe thats not good, i'm not sure
as Ville Valo has said:
"I'm not a big thinker, I've got a big heart and a small brain."
and i stick by that quote of his,
because that is exactly how i am
(if you guys havent been able to tell already)
i am trying to find a middle-of-the-road approach
but i'm not entirely sure how to do so,
i'm good with compromise so that might help
and to a certain extent, i can keep my cool
(very far extent, by the way)
i just wish things were a little easier sometimes,
but i don't want to express my needs..
so i wont.




sorry horoscope, you are a little wrong this time.

the only words i have to say:
Nick, I miss you.

pictures from around 8 tonight...

me and my camera were bored

i dont see to take as many pictures as i used to...

ugly kissy face...

lyrics from the second verse of heartkiller on the last picture

UPDATE

all i have to say about today:

this morning was great

school wasnt bad

after school was alright

dinner was frustrating

after dinner i was hurt

and tonight i almost lost my mind

i have hope.

tommorrow has to be better.

*venting* sometimes some girls make me mad...PLEASE STOP FLIRTING WITH MY BOYFRIEND!! >=O

WARNING:

this is a mean and selfish post...read at your own risk

>.<

Girls make me mad.

i do not like when girls flirt with my boyfriend.

i do not like when girls flirt with my boyfriend

then say he's the one doing it and not them.

i do not like when girls flirt with my boyfriend

 then say he's the one doing it and not them

and then are nice to my face.

i do not like when girls flirt with my boyfriend

then say he's the one doing it and not them

and then are nice to my face

and they have a boyfriend.

i do not like when girls flirt with my boyfriend

then say he's the one doing it and not them

and then are nice to my face

and they have a boyfriend

and still say they love thier boyfriend,

even though they are flirting with mine!!

ITS A BUNCH OF BULLSH*T

ok so here's the deal,

I DON'T FLIRT.

the only person i flirt with is Nicko, and im only trying to flirt

i dont really know how..

if you already have a boyfriend, then why would you flirt with any other boy?

especially a boy who already has a girlfriend...

Honestly, i don't think any guys are attractive

besides Nick and the exception of Ville Valo

i love Nick with all my heart

and no one can compare to him in my eyes,

i dont ever look at any boys the way i look at nick

and i dont think of anyone else the same way

i'm not interested.

if you love someone,

how can you think of anyone in anyother way besides a friend?

i understand that most people do think other people are attractive,

but i am not one of those people

and even if you think someone else is attractive,

you shouldnt make a move if they're taken

or even worse if YOU'RE taken yourself!

and i hate when people get things blamed on them when they shouldnt

i've been through enough of that in my life

so when it happens to other people i show sympathy to them

i just really don't understand why some people cant just settle down

maybe it makes them happy to flirt with other people..

that are taken...

but what about the person on the other end?

shouldnt they care that they are hurting the other person (me)?!

i get paranoid about things like that

i'm finally happy

i have the guy of my dreams

he's perfect for me

we're madly in love

if anyone ruined that, i don't know what i'd do

i do trust my boyfriend nowm so i know he wouldnt let anyone do that

but sometimes i still have the fear in the back of my mind

because it has happened to me before

my biggest fear is losing him

he is my love and best friend

and i think people should care and stop trying to jeopardize my life..

losing him would be like losing everything to me

he's the only person i talk to about truly everything

he loves me and shows it, every day

despite what others may think...

alot of people dont know how we really are

some people have never seen us together

if they saw the way he looked at me

they would understand how important we are to eachother

the look he gives me is unmistakable

anyone could tell it's love

note to all of you girls:

please dont flirt with other people's boyfriends, it may be your hobby but it makes people mad.

especially me :( if you're gonna flirt with someone's boyfriend

flirt with your own!!

and for you single girls...

there are alot of single guys out there

go flirt with them, i'm sure they wouldnt mind :)

just dont flirt with my boyfriend...

just ask him if he has any single friends you can flirt with lol

problem : solved

^_^

the big wednesday!

i started typing on my new story after the wifi connection was lost

but i got distracted and started messing with my webcam

(click to enlarge if you must)

obviously i got bored on photoshop too...i mean i was in the car for an hour

i actually smiled in my id picture 0_o

after i got my ID, then we were going to the BX

which is the Base Exchange

top go shop

but....

i saw a restaurant called Flying Tiger

turn out its a Chinese place ^_^

we turned around and went there

this is what i had

wonton soup ^-^

and General Tso's chicken, a chicken wing, fried rice and egg roll

tehya got fried dumplins and eggroll

look how tiny my egg roll is!

isnt it kawaii?!!

yes!! sukoshi egg roll! :D

hehe using japanese to describe chinese food XD

then we went to the bx

and i tried on these clothes

i got them ^_^

tell me what you think :D

afterwards we got ice cream and then went home

not too bad of a day, i guess :)

today and about tommorrow

just a couple pictures i took on webcam

i was bored

i'm in a pretty blah type of mood

i was bored earlier and listening to music and this is what the new banner started as

you may remember this picture from a previous post

but it was purple, not blue

so, tommorrow i have a busy day

i'm going to the doctor and then going to the army base.

i'm getting my military ID renewed

Why?

because then i can get certain discounts and shop on the army base,

plus it gives me something to show off and prove my age.

best part is that i dont have to go to school tommorrow.

i feel bad...

and i should,

because i said something mean

but i was speaking my mind...

i'm sorry :(

anyway

today has been relatively good,

the first thing i see when i turn on my phone is a text from my darling Nicko <3

"i love you cutie" is nice to hear in the morning :)

no problems with teachers or anything of the sort.

and everything was ok :)

i had pizza rolls when i got home

i changed a few things on my blog, do you like the changes?

im thinking of making more

i took this earlier....
i call this my hungry goat face >.<

here is a new video from today

i have a big day on wednesday
i'll tell you in tomoro's update :)

i've been reading...

i've spent most of class today reading blogs

and then read an article about HIM's new album on Metal Hammer 

im still excited for it to come out ^_^

and so are other people!

although...

i was upset that there were so many people talking sh*t on there though,

the article is directed towards the fans, why are they even there?

if they think that the band sucks then they can go vent it somewhere else!

i hate when people diss them...

there are alot of "radio-friendly" described songs on there

but just because some songs are radio-friendly doesnt mean that it wont be good

HIM has a style of its own and Ville's voice and style are unique

no one sounds exactly like them so they will still be HIM

and some people are not getting that into thier heads...

if they are truly fans then they should have faith in the band

accept them as they are, you know? be open-minded to thier new music

it upsets me to see people who "love" them stop liking them just because they're on a radio

what? do you think you're cool just because your music is "underground?"

so you think you can just diss "mainstream?"

too bad HIM is well known all over the world

thats not underground at all,

people should be happy that others know about the band

why wouldnt you want to spread the love?

amazing music should be known to everyone

MUSIC IS MUSIC

whether its well-known or not

it should still be appreciated

meeeow!

today:

i went to church,

began typing a new story,

went to eat and the food wasnt as bad as i expected

then came home

today i was crushed but only for a little

nicko cheered me up ^_^ ♥ ♥

we've been talking all day which makes me very happy

i new it wouldnt be an entirely good day because this morning a crow landed in front of me, squawked and pecked my boot then flew away....crows are bad luck!!!!

for seeing a crow today, this day has been good.

i love him so much

and i want to see him too

i really miss him :(

in other news:

congratulations to Rabbito and Rineko

they are living together now,

living with your best friend has got to be fun

they're gonna be so happy now :D

i'm happy for them ^o^

i found a bow in my room and it was cute
i hadnt seen it in a while so i put it in my hair

everything kawaii reminds me of rabbi-chan ^_^

A N N O U N C E M E N T 

visit my friend Kasey's blog!

either click on her name or go here:

kaseysgotsomethingtohide.blogspot.com

she's new to blogger and needs some readers :)

am i really the prettiest girl? i doubt it...
i want to be so pretty that you dont see any other girl but me...
i know that its selfish but there are so many prettier girls out there that it is hard to believe you sometimes...

update for today...

[attempting to see eye to eye]

i look really bad from side-view >.<

but anyway, lately i seem to be really confused...

my head has been acting funny since i started this new contraceptive pill,

my stomachs been hurting,

i've been dizzy alot

the nosebleed incedent

bad headaches

but the pamphlet says its supposed to stop after the first week

so let's hope it does @_@

cuz i feel like i'm dying XD XD XD

also lately my mind has been playing tricks on me. i'm permanantly nervous regardless of whatever is going on. i could be happy as ever and still be hiding in the corner in my mind afraid to come out. i want to get rid of my nervousness for good, but i really don't know how...i've been on this continuous journey of escaping it for so many years now, and im slowly crawling out from the abyss but it seems like the exit is so far away and every time i reach for it it runs from me..i am almost there...i just need that one last step to get out. i need enough reassurance that i dont have to always be worried...i need that hand to reach out to me and pull me out...i've never been "like everyone else" but i don't want to be a nervous wreck..yes, i'm really nice and i see it as my duty to make people happy...but what about me? why can't i make myself happy? thats what i need to learn to do...i have learned to calm myself down and to cope but i havent yet learned to be content.

BESIDES ALL THAT.....

i had cookies today ^_^

they are low calorie, but only cuz they were cheap today XD

my mom brought some home and i was the first to grab at it

because we almost never have any sweets in our house

when there is, they dissapear very fast

either because my mom and sister eat them

or if i take half the box and hide it under my bed

because that's the only way i can ever get any!! XD

my family is one hungry bunch XD XD XD

especially me!

i eat alot, but never gain weight

some call it a blessing,

i call it a curse!!

i've been trying to gain weight for years >.<

i'm always tiny no matter what >.<

and its really bad in winter, because fat keeps you warm

but i have almost no fat!!

so im always cold T-T

and here is a video i made last night

btw if you ever want to see any of my videos search "Yrrebsa" on youtube

subscribe to my channel if you want ^_^

other things (misc):

♥the song "Summer Wine" is stuck in my head

♥i really really really really reeeally miss Nicko :(

♥i found out one of my friends has been fake to me(i am disappointed about that)

♥i lost my memory card somewhere in my room >.<

♥i am very bad at playing on a Wii because the good graphics distract me!!

♥my mind keeps twisting everything to negatives and i do not like it at all

♥i need a Nicko hug RIGHT NOW!!!

Lyrics - Just Hoping For My Angel Will Pass Through

confiding within myself the words i refuse to speak
trying to hide the emotions that make me come off as weak
attempting to not upset all others
hiding my head beneath my covers
just hoping that my Angel will pass through...

i try to write my thoughts away
because to pain, my mind is prey
the blitzkrieg over my circumstances
staring into the sky with wishful glances
just hoping that my Angel will pass through...

where art thou, oh Angel of mine?
give me an answer, give me a sign
write out our names in the stars aligned
so then i can see it and i can be fine

hiding in a self grown mask although i can only try

to hide the sorrows underneath the streaming tears i cry

longing for our happiness

longing to feel your sweet carress

just hoping that my Angel will pass through...

so then it can be just me and you...

aww ^_^

on my previous post my friend left me this comment:

Rabbito!! you are appreciated by me! ^_^

very much!!

and i dedicate this picture to you!! ↓

Dedicated to Rabbito

rabbi-chan i had KFC tonight and i thought about you ^_^

so this is for you since you love KFC!

i appreciate your kindness and for being a good friend to me

♥♥♥♥♥

and these are my family with thier KFC

first is my sister and second is my mom ^_^

i had apple juice >.<

and pop corn chicken but my mom says i "inhale" my food XD XD XD

i wuv u rabbito!!

*sigh* ...

eventful day, i must say...i had a nose bleed and passed out for a while @_@ i think i died XD i still feel a little bit sick but nothing too bad now..

good things that happened:
chatted with Rabbito on our cell phones!! first time ever!
saw milo dinosaur on Rabbito's blog XD XD
made a giant sandwich (didnt like it then but thinking back it was good!!)
finished 6 sections in US History

i spent most of the day working on my online class

im glad i actually got something done, haha

did a big long post about love that i started working on yesterday ↓↓↓

i dont really like the way i worded it so i was gonna delete and start over

but....

im too lazy to re-type all that!!

hehehe

♥

now for the latest Ville Valo creation:

inspired by the HIM song "Beautiful"
(click to enlarge to see the lyrics)
i think i didnt do too bad on this..
but im no pro XD


tomoro doesnt seem like it will be a better day,
but...
i'm prepared for the worst and hoping for the best
^_^