describing me.
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Monday, April 11


i am home now from dance class, it actually went quite well :) i hadn't gone for 2 weeks so i thought i would suck but i'm still really good :D so yay ~!! i was so scared i was going to be embarrassed o_o since i usually am... xD

mood: mehh 
drinking: water 
talking to:  no one

nicko has gone to sleep so i am very bored right now, and not in the best mood...i went to his house today so i was super happy :) then went to dance, got only slightly pissed / annoyed with the new girl who is just completely uncooperative...i was supposed to help her (teacher's request) because i'm a good dancer, but she backtalked me and stuff when i tried to help her so i just backed off, but i was very mad! then my mom dragged me off to the store and i got impatient. but i did get some bowl noodles (hot + spicy = nyami! ♥) some heart-shape hair clips and 2 shaped like lips  they are kawaii <33 like this person's hair! look =)
i honestly cannot tell whether this is a boy or a girl person >_> but i ♥ thier hair!
if i ever went to a bad hairdresser and messed up my hair so bad that i had to chop it off, i would do this to it :) cuz i think its super cute ^_^ i am still sitting here trying to figure out this persons gender o_o i'm thinking its a dude but you never know these days xDD


i do this occasionally to vent. i often write about the same people. you write 5 things to 5 different people without saying thier names. i tend to make mine obvious enough that if the people read what i wrote, they would automatically know it was about them.

1. Girls Like You Make Us Look Bad
[[using code names]] me and Labrador were talking about it today, and we agree that you've changed. and it's not a good change. what the hell is wrong with you? you always complained about how you had douchebag boyfriends and hated it, and now you finally got what you wanted - a good boyfriend who will admittedly do ANYTHING for you and LOVES you for you - and now you're the douchebag! do you see yourself? you stopped talking to us, now you only stay on the boys side of the table. you made "AfroThunder move just so you could sit by AwkwardKid that we all know that you like. you always show him your bra and act sexy towards him then give us the "dont tell Blondie" look. no, i wont tell him...and i hate that i wont tell him, because he deserves so much better than you but he loves you more than anything. in the beginning i thought you two were perfect for eachother, and maybe you were, but now...i don't know what you are. i wish you knew how stupid we feel as "your friends," how so many people hate you and talk shit about you and we always defended you loyally when anyone called you any kind of mean name, we defended you. because we were good friends and back then, you werent all of those things. but how stupid do we feel now, now that you've been in a steady relationship for almost half a year and are all over another guy, then talk about a bunch of other ones and act like its okay. you just proved everyone right, don't you know that? those girls you make fun of  and talk shit about because they're whores...don't you realize that you're acting just like them...i should have know. you're letting us all down...

2. Note To Self: You Miss Me Terribly
you messed up. i said i would never talk to you again. i never said that i hate you. i said i hate what you did. you were my best friend, it's true. when i was lonely and there was no one to distract me, you were there. when nick was off with his friends and i was stuck alone with no one to talk to or distract me from my bad thoughts, you were there. yeah, you're right, you really messed up. you've been blogging about me non-stop tonight, and i did read it of course. don't take this wrong, but i never ignore you, i just choose not to respond. which does make me feel bad, and you know it does, because you know how i am. we became friends this summer, and i think the friendship would have lasted longer if you had learned your lesson on this earlier, and i'm sorry that you had to learn it from what happened with you and me...like i said to you before, sisters are forever. i always called you my sister, you cant just take back something like that. sisters are forever, that means i'll always forgive you no matter what you do, but sisters do drift apart...doesnt mean they don't come back. i've forgiven you and you can see it now if you're reading, which i know you are.

yeah, you're right. i miss you, you were my best friend. i have been thinking about actually talking to you again...not only because i miss you but because i think you need me, you need my help...no one was ever there for you like i was, and i know that. nick is my best friend, has been since we first talked and don't forget that ever. remember all of the things i did for you, how i helped and was always nice to you and let you talk to me whenever you were sad or scared, or if you simply just couldnt sleep. this is what he does for me just like i did for you. so do you understand now why i got so mad at you? imagine: having me as your best friend, and we'd been best friends for a while, and then a newer best friend. then one day me and you have some sort of disagreement and upsets the other, and then the newer best friend sends me a message cussing at me and calling me horrible names. would you ever talk to them again? see what i mean now? that's why i was so mad. 

maybe (MAYBE) i will give you another chance at being my friend again...just for your own sake and only if it is okay with nick. if you have truely learned your lesson, and got a little more mature...then maybe...it's a hard decision, because you did stress me out sometimes, but then again everyone does. and even though we butted heads and our age difference, we still got along. and i know this is late, but Happy Birthday. i remember it was January 3, 1 day, 1 month before mine, yet 7 years before. hope it was a good one.

    3. Mrs. Hypocrite
you're a great teacher, your teaching style is my favorite. i like the way you emphasize your words and express things. i like your sense of humore and the wierd noises and gestures you make when you describe things. but the only thing that keeps you from being my favorite teacher of all time, is that you don't actually go by what you teach. you know so many psychological facts, you teach us how to use the concepts in our own classrooms, yet don't use it in your own. "sometimes you meet a kid and they just shrug everything off like its nothing. then you could also meet one of those kids that even something that is small to you, could tear thier whole life apart. you have to pay close attention to them, or they'll be distant from you."  there's the knowledge, and there you go. i'm one of those kids, the second kind. you made me cry, you know. in front of the whole class. you stared at me with your intimidating eyes and scold me and made sure everyone would hear. you embarrassed me. i asked for help and you called it an excuse. i said i was out sick, even with a note, said it was an excuse. i was in so much pain i could hardly get up. you're just as bad as all the others, i wont fall for your kind again, now that i know your tricks. thanks for the lesson, if you only know what i really got out being in your class.

    4. Puppy

you're my best friend at school. we don't too know much about eachother outside of basic likes and personality, but thats really all we need. we always have fun together whether we're reading in the library, sharing a lunch or just walking in the hallway. we think almost the same way and you're always nice to me no matter what. you're a really awesome friend :) i hope we keep in touch and maybe one day be able to hang out outside of school ^_^

     5. You're Not Even Real

you've started to bother me again. i thought you were gone, because you got a new target now and she's worse than me but u knew me first and still after me huh... you can't live without my sorrow now can you. and there you go to mess things up again. 7 was only supposed to be a messenger, but now you turned him into a monster like you, growing just like you did now. you're going to scare away my friends...and you're making me hurt again, so stop please.

it can be good to do posts like this, they're a nice way to vent sometimes.
you should try it :) i tag EVERYONE! xDD

1 comment:

nick said...

nope =)
we not getting into this again
your done no kids. and no games people dont change and i know this trust me..i can tell, so just stop now...and if you start that stuff again im gonna get pissed get 7d out of your head right now and anything else thats stupid im getting tired of this childish stuff...so..
to post
#1 i told you how she was no one listens to me--its over let her go dont get involved #2 no and thats its..it would be wise not to fuck up
#3 you cant let things get to you so much you got to get stronger dont let what people say affect you or theyll run your life
#4 its ok right now...but i have a bad feeling..and i think im right but ill let it go and if it happens then ill do something
#5 stop with stuff its all in your head

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