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Friday, December 17

m o w ?

quick note* my blog can now be viewed mobile!
kinda in a down-sh mood at the moment 
i had 4 different bad dreams @_@ so i was not happy at all 
2 pissed me off, then the other 2 made me sad
and they went in a checkered pattern...
i woke up super stressed and sad and didn't feel like going to school + feeling sick
blehhh (berry does not approve!!)
 but nicko cheered me up 
just a "hey baby" in the morning can cheer me up a whole day
crazy right? ♥
random edit inspired by Love Like Winter by AFI
that song is awesome i have always loved it ♥
well an update on the modelling thing, i got in!
the bad new...it costs alot.
you know how i talked about that i was going to start dance again and that my cell gets turned off after this month?
well paying for a cell phone, 12 dance classes +bus fare costs LESS than one month of modelling classes!
which is a lot :( i would have to choose between cell, dance and sometimes lunch/breakfast OR modelling.
i choose dance.
i know i want to model soooooo bad :( but i cant do it...
with no phone, me and nick would have a hard time together...
my family is already low on money and i don't have a job yet,
and i love dance, always have and i already know i'm good at that
i don't know if modelling would be good for me or take me anywhere, so i don't want to put in money i don't really have and risk my relationship over something i might not even be able to pursue.
if i had a job, i would try it out because i would be able to help pay
so maybe i'll try again when i get one and see how it goes...
but for now, i'm gonna start dance and get a new phone at the end of the month
that is what i need right now.
such angry thoughts right now >_<
i just figured out how much i hate that girl i'm jealous of!!,
because when i think about it, even when she's not being mentioned she's still causing a problem
because in one of nick's recent posts i was re-reading, he talks about past situations that bother him
which is what starts our arguments...
i don't do anything wrong, but because of something SHE did before, he gets mad at ME!
which makes me want to wish her death -_______-+
it really makes me sad that i'm good girlfriend and i know i am, but he still thinks about the past problems that i have nothing to do with and like...thinks i'm going to do the same thing
i love you Nick stop thinking about what she did and know that you have no worries with me.
because i will treat you like the beautiful person you are and you know i wont do anything to ruin that.
today there is an orchestra concert during school
i don't wanna go :/ i don't really like the songs they play...
i love classical music (i definately blame ballet for that one)
but i hate that they play the same songs every year -_-
i get bored so fast with that...you know?
ugh i am so bored and sick @_@
i feel like i'm gonna throw up on everything
blehh...once again i do not approve!
but i don't wanna go home cuz then i cant leave today
and i'm gonna go attack nick at his house xD
whether he wants me to or not because i havent seen him in god damn month!!!!
and i miss him  alot 
i really need to make some dividers, these dashes just aint doin it!!!
.....well i'm gonna go throw up now haha
i'll blog again later when i doodle again ^_^'
heh heh... well... see ya :D
*pukes everywhere*

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