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Friday, March 18

my grandma...

i really love her dearly...the only way to explain it
she was my best friend
this week i have gotten to talk to her for half an hour every morning
and it really does make me feel better
i love hearing about my mom when she was little and her brothers, what a sweet childhood they seem to have had
one person who i had always been curious about was my uncle Willy
he was killed about 10 years before i ever was even thought of, so i never did get to meet him but according to my grandma and mom and uncle charlie, i am just like him.
"you would have loved him" grandma always said.
my mom always said he was mean, but grandma and charlie always said differently...they make him sound so amazing because he probably was. my mom is the grudging type...which is why she doesnt like me as much, because she always says i remind her alot of willy and my dad, and she grew to not like either of them because of "things they did to her".
"he had this power about him, to make people do things without physically making them do it"
my grandma said she was too passive sometimes about things like cleaning up and putting things away and didnt like to make my mom do it because she actually liked to do them herself anyway, but willy knew that she should and would get mami to put her stuff away.
gma said the only thing she didnt agree with about willy was that he didnt want my mom to pursue a dance career, he said to her to do it as a hobby instead and he was going to turn her into a computer wiz so she could be prosperous in the future.
my grandma believes in people following thier dream and always told my mom to do what she wanted when it came to what she loved. she even offered litterally dozens of times to build my mom her own dance studio in or out of thier house so she would always be able to practice and dance but my mom refused. i think that if she hadnt refused she could have made it professionally...but she refused.
and willy was right...she would have been rich. she used to learn so fast and she didnt make it in dance. if she had got the job as a computer specialist and followed what he said, my mom would have lots of money and probably still be a part time dancer. i wish she would have listened but she was too busy being mad.
i hate that my mom wouldnt let my grandma influence our lives like she could have. i honestly think i would be so much happier and better off with everything. she is an amazing person...i would be honored if she had raised me
i think she is the most influential woman in my life
for most people its thier mom...for me its my grandma :)
im glad i got to know her and hopefully she'll be around to know my children when i have them
i want to be more like her, if i could be anyone in the world
i think i would want to be my grandma
she has lived a full life and i know when she does pass, she will be proud of herself and i will be too
im gonna remember  everything she's taught me
i love her :) <333

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